The Swedish Booty

Part One of a Three Part Series
By Maxx Chestnutt

And you thought Sweden sucked...

Well, some of you may be a bit out of touch when it comes to adult films. The days
of the likes of Christi Canyon and John Stagliano are long gone, and actresses like
the gorgeous Jasmine St. Claire and Houston are in the middle of their careers.

Northern Sweden in the hizze...

A couple of hockey players that my brother met told him about her. They were proud to tell him of a local girl from a town thirty six miles south of their ice rink. He relayed the information to me, and after six weeks of research and video review, I bring you the report on the European diva of modern, adult film. Her name?

Linda Thoren

The story goes a little somethin’ like this. When she was a teenager she dropped out of high school in Örnshöldsvik, the hometown of ice hockey player Peter Forsberg, and moved to Stockholm. According to Poppa Fresh’s sources on the ice hockey team, she hooked up with some fat, sleezy, American porn director. They became a couple and moved to Los Angeles. It was no surprise that her porn career took off. OK, I know that some of you are thinking that this is another Tracy Lords story, but she did not start getting busy on screen until she was legally of age for the porn industry: 18.

I recently saw that that she won the 1999 Rog Readers poll for the top female performer. She won the opening round voting by beating out tough competition in her group, such as Ginger Lynn, Asia Carrera and Taylor Hayes. In the final, she blew Serenity away, winning by a final vote count of 590 to 479, respectively.

While on special assignment for Los Guys, I had a chance to interview her in Los Angeles over a cup of coffee before a private engagement in Southgate. Got a hummer, too...

MC: So, you like to fuck?
LT: Yes, very much.
MC: Where were you born?
LT: In northern Sweden.
MC: In a small town?
LT: Yes. I was born in a small village outside of the town.
It had maybe one hundred houses.
MC: What’s your birthday?
LT: September 24,1977
MC: So you like to fuck?
LT: Maxx, if there’s some kind of problem....
MC: No, I’m kidding. I’ll be serious now. Is Linda your real name?
LT: Yes. I don’t have a stage name.
MC: When did you start making movies?
LT: 18. The first time, I was just very curious. I sent a letter to a men’s magazine in Sweden. I was only seventeen at the time so they sent me home and told me to
wait until I was eighteen. I had to wait six months and then I started doing pictures. After that, they asked me if I wanted to try a video. I started slow. The first time was a masturbation. So it wasn’t hard-core right away.
MC: Do you remember the name of the first movie you were in?
LT: The first real, professional movie I was in was “Swedish Meatballs, Part II,” I think. We did that in France, just south of Paris.
MC: Do you ever watch your own movies?
LT: No, I hate to see myself. But if I were going to look at one, maybe the last anal scene I did with Rocco Sifreddi from "Rock and Roll Rocco."
MC: What were you like growing up, were you shy?
LT: Oh very shy. I’m still very shy.
MC: You aren’t shy now.
LT: Yes I am. When I have to, I can be outgoing, but off camera, I am shy.
MC: Do the people back home know what you do?
LT: Yes, the whole town knows.
MC: How do they feel about that?
LT: It’s a little bit mixed. One Uncle is very upset and called me drunk to scream at me. But he is the only one who has reacted negatively. All my friends think it is so funny. They are amazed and want to know everything about the business.
MC: Did you start having sex at a young age?
LT: No, normal age. I was 10. That’s the legal age in Sweden.
MC: So you had been having sex for a couple of years before getting into movies?
LT: Yes. I was already in love with sex.
MC: Had you had sex with a woman before doing it on video?
LT: No, I hadn’t.
MC: Do you remember who the first woman was?
LT: Yes, a Swedish girl from Stockholm.

"Just what the hell is going on in northern Sweden?"
---King Karl Gustav XVI, King of Sweden

MC: Is the American film business different than the European?
LT: Yes, there are a few differences between the American and European. When I was in Japan, that was the biggest difference.
MC: How is it different?
LT: In south Europe they have very small dicks, so there was a lot of wasted time. There would be two hours before we could start shooting while they eat and drink. It was kind of boring I think. I was not used to this. In Japan, the biggest difference was that they never cut the scene. So the girl and the boy have to have their sex for fifteen or thirty minutes and then be finished. They never take a break or hire guys with little cocks, which is normally done in Europe. That’s the biggest difference.
MC: Do you have a boyfriend?
LT: Yes, for four years.
MC: Does he do movies?
LT: No, he is a journalist in Sweden.
MC: He’s OK with you doing movies?
LT: Yes. It’s tough sometimes, but we handle it well.

Huh, she said “handle it.” I offer the readership this one final observation. The 1996 Playmate of the Year, Victoria Silverstedt, is also from northern Sweden. Furthermore, consider that Los Guys editor-in-chief, Poppa Fresh, disappeared with his girlfriend to Umeå, which, coincidentally, is also located in the north of the country. I personally have only spoken with him twice since he took off in April of this year to complete his doctoral thesis on amateur adult video. Just what the hell is going on in northern Sweden?

I needed answers. Out of curiosity, I reviewed the film “Rock and Roll Rocco.” I gave it a thumbs up, as in thumb-up-the-butt. If you want to see for yourselves, go to her website at WWW.SWELINDA.COM.