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I've lived my life according to the heartstains on the ceiling
Wishing for the day to come when I
Can wash away the angry memories and forget this happened
Heartstains drip on my bed at night, wake me up, try to drown me
They whisper "You were never good enough for me
"I found another way to let go, to live God."
Each night they talk above my head next to the self-portrait of Jesus
They lie. And I can't sleep when they talk amongst themselves
Saying, "Look at the way she sleeps, lying on her back and drooling
"It's no wonder she's sleeping alone."
Heartstains bleed from a thousand wounds inflicted by the unknowingly sharp blades of human folly
I bleed a thousand drops of blood to feed the stains on the ceiling
Clear blood, so you never know what's wrong with me
Oh, but you stand there and look at me and say you understand
But you don't. You can never understand because
You don't hear them at night, you don't live under the shadow
Heartstains don't haunt your dreams like they do mine
I can't sleep, can't dream, can't do anything except look
Up at them and stare my own heart in the eyes
You say you understand but you don't even care
I bleed to feed them, to feed this dry being
My heartstains, my soul, my lonliness embodied