Demons

But you don't understand what I'm saying...
I don't feel anymore
I've become a corpse inside
I can't feel the emotions I used to
Now it's rage--
Boiling inside me, making me shake violently
Make me want to hurt people badly--hurt myself
Or else I feel sadness--altough that word is too weak
It's beyond depression; it's like I'm falling into an abyss
Life holds no joy, no reprieve from a monotomous drudging pace
I'm going to die--and nobody will care or remember me
Despair is a welcomed relief from this sorrow
I feel old
My body deceives me and my mind falters again and again
Thin--stretched out over too much
I'm too little too late and I failed everyone
I can't sleep
My waking hours repeat over and over and over in my mind
They plague me haunt me torment me
And my dreams are full of nightmares
Guilt? I have no guilt
Guilt is baggage I left at the airport
So what is it that invades my mind
Possesses my body and controls my emotions
I want to see my demon
I need a ray of sunshine through my dark black thick ugly storm clouds