One day about 5 years ago, I out ripping the shit out of the park, as usual., when something bad happened. I went too big on a jump and cleared the landing. I stomped it down in the flat and felt the strange yet satisfying sensation of my guts popping through my stomach walls. Soon after, my nuts swelled up to the size of softballs and i was diagnosed with a double Hernia. The next morning i woke up with a sharp burning feeling emanating from my crotch. It turned out they had to amputate one of my testicles because its cord got all tangled up in my guts and became strangulated. The feeling I was experiencing was the severed cord. The next few weeks were rough, everything down south turned dark purple, and I had to ice my wang for two hours just to go wee-wee. And on top of it all, the doctor told me I could forget about ever having kids because the trauma had rendered me sterile. I was shooting blanks. So as the years went by, I ravaged Joanna unprotected, billions of times with reckless abandon. This really wasn't so bad, until the day came when we wanted a little punk to bully around. That's when i realized how serious it was that snowboarding stole my sperm. I cursed the day i started sliding sideways. Then, a miracle happened - Joanna was pregnant and she swore it was mine. Nine months later, A baby popped out. She makes our days worth living and our nights sleepless. What I'm trying to say is, we are overjoyed to have her around. In conclusion, I take from snowboarding but it does not take from me. And as for that lame-ass, dick doctor, he can choke on my ghost nut for all I care.