The Veil of Night and Other Poems By Rayne Britt

These are all poems I have written over the past several years of my life. Every time I go over this site it seems I take a few more poems off. I'm sick of all the whining in the world about how bad life is (my own included) so I've been revamping this site a bit. It seems every "poet" is just some depressed kid who thinks they have the hardest life there is and that it's only going to get worse. Here's a news flash: your life isn't the worst but it can always get worse so you might as well enjoy it now before it does! I know everyone writes depressing poems from time to time; but I also know that alot of the people that do it are faking the pain or inflicting it on themselves and then writing about how other people do it to them. I'm not exempt. I've taken all the poems (I think I got them all) off that I did the same thing in. I woke up one day and realized that I wasted so many years complaing. Life isn't really all that bad. I know we all have our problems but you WILL make it through. If for some reason you don't make it through and you die...long as you know where your heading that isn't really a bad thing either. So to all my friends who are faking the pain or inflicting it on themselves or even those who really are having a bad life-cheer up. Someone is there for you. Read a few poems. Take some quizzes. RELAX! It's going to be okay.

-Rayne Britt Oct. 6th, 2003

The Veil of Night

Over some enchanted, moonlit pond
Shines a golden moon,
Shinning down on you and I,
But, the image is gone too soon.

Flash forward to another fantasy,
Under a gazebo in a park,
Still just we two,
Sitting and talking 'til long after dark.

But dreams like this must die,
Fading away, away,
Disappearing with the veil of night,
Giving way to the light of day.

There is no keeping hold though,
Now I must let go,
For in daylight’s reality,
You don’t know I love you so!


A Poem for an Angel

Young one fair, who disencumbers me with her grace,
And lightens my load with a look from her face,
Speak to me and then speak some more,
For I have never heard an angel talk heretofore.
Tell me of love I’ve never felt,
And of good fate to me never dealt.
Tell me of times unknown to me,
Where honor ruled over vanity.
I do not remember those days,
Of courage and chivalrous ways.
But you, fair angel, inspire me,
To follow ways of lost chivalry.
And if you were to find honor in me indeed,
It would be all I need.
If you could remind me how to love again,
I would love you only, in speech, action, and pen!


Come & Go (Stargazer)

I stare at the stars.
I don’t know why.
I want to laugh.
I want to cry.

Come,
We are young.
We have much to experience!
Go,
With me.
We have much to be.

I look into your eyes-
Blue as the skies.
All I despise
Is you can see through my disguise.

Come,
Enjoy youth.
Seek your truth!
Go,
Let me know.
Where you go I’ll follow!


Live Fast! Die Young! (Growing Old)

Live fast! Die young! That’s what my motto used to be.
But you inspired something new in me.
Now you’ve shown me life’s not so cold,
And I wouldn’t mind growing old,
As long as I could grow old with you.
That’s what I want to do.
The life you inspire in me,
Will keep me young throughout eternity!


Before I start this poem I would like to say without apologies that I am a HUGE Alice in Chains fan and this poem is about Layne Staley who will be sorely missed! R.I.P.

To Layne (1967-2002)

Peace is now so close your eyes.
I’ll be here while you touch the skies.
Contained within a jar of flies,
All the truth and all the lies.
As I say my last good-byes,
Someone, somewhere for you cries.
Love that was left within me dies.
My soul, it also tries,
To escape the weight and size,
Of all my life’s lows. No highs.
Peace is now so close your eyes.
I’ll be here while you touch the skies.


I Stand in the Rain

Sometimes I stand in the rain,
And let it wash away my pain;
Make me temporarily sane.

It brings back to me
A faint memory
Of that thing called innocency.

It makes me almost happy but still too sad,
Angry but almost, ALMOST glad,
Sane and yet quite mad.

You’ll most likely never see me happy,
But come stand in the rain with me,
And you’ll see the closest I’ll ever be!


Silt (A Time I Died)

The flowers wilt.
The pedals fall.
In my hand like silt,
I can’t hold it at all.

You were always so distant,
No matter how close you lied.
Life seems so reminiscent
Of a time I died.

The world lies,
And in my head,
A tear from my eyes.
I wish I were dead.

You are still so distant,
No matter how close you stand.
Happiness is so reminiscent.
Falling through my fingers like sand.

The body dies.
Into the grave.
The widow cries,
But tears don’t save.

Now it is I who is so distant.
A fact I hope you can endure.
Death’s a disease. It’s so reminiscent,
Of the fact there is no cure.


Reminiscence in the Rain

There’s something about the rain.
Reminds me of the days when I was still sane.
Now I’m older and all my life is vain.
But I can still reminisce in the rain

Once there was an innocence,
And I needed no defense.
I got older and lost my common sense.
But I still remember innocence.

All my life, I’ve wondered why.
I guess I’ll find out when I die.
I’ll never have to laugh; never have to cry.
Then and there, I’ll never wonder why.

For now, I’ll just play in the rain.
Let the people wonder if I’m sane.
And whenever happiness starts to wane,
I can go out and reminisce in the rain.


Daydreamer

Blank mind,
Or so it would seem.
Thoughts of nothing and everything.
Of every fear and dream.


What you call daydreaming,
I consider creativity.
What you call fiction,
I call alternate reality.

You see me as a slacker,
But I’m just lost in thought.
Who will still be laughing,
When I have found what others sought?

I’m really planning my future.
You call it staring off into space.
But it will be me, me laughing,
When I’m great among this race!


Of Fools and Sages

The simple compass me all around.
No sign of intelligence have I found.
The foolish are considered wise.
Can no one see through their disguise?
The sage is considered a fool,
And the ignorant have rule.
Why, God why, are the wise men cast aside?
Why does the advice of fools bring great pride,
To the simple and the dumb?
I have advice if you would like some.
Choose carefully whose advice you follow,
And avoid the fools sorrow.


Real World

Box. Closed. Square.
Is there life out there?
Who knows,
Which way the wind blows?
Does anybody care?

Fist. Closed. Ready.
Balance off. Unsteady.
Can’t break through.
What do I do?
Am I really ready?

Future. Open? Bright?
Is every option in perfect site?
Will I make it?
Should I take it?
Is it my delight?


Children

Children. That’s all we are.
Lost. Wishing on a star.
Hoping for things to change,
And yet stay the same.
The dream is always just out of range,
And to everyone else it’s a game.
I’m wishing for someone to hold my hand,
And to say I love you.
Someone to walk with in the sand,
And hold me when I’m blue.
Someone to be there when it all falls apart,
And to say they care,
When loneliness fills my heart.
Someone to help me see,
When all grows dark.
And to get me to my feet,
When I miss the mark.
I need this person in my life,
To make things better,
To end the misery and stife.
Someone who’ll be by me forever.
I’m still seeking her love,
So I’ll end with my prayers.
Dear Lord above,
Send me someone who cares!


Rage

Rage is a gift.
Anger is a blessing.
Vengeance is a privilege.
Aggression is a passion.

Accept the gift.
Receive the blessing.
Accept the privilege.
Feel the passion.


Whether

By the sun whether warmed or whether weathered I can not tell.
Whether I know not,
Or knew once and have forgot,
No one can say and it’s just as well.

This winter weather has weathered this weary wonderer.
Just give a sigh,
And wonder why,
People perplex this pensive ponderer.

Thoroughly tired through and through.
There’s no reason,
For this weary season,
Or the dastardly deeds that devil’s do!


To the One Who Gives Me My Dreams

To the one who gives me sweet dreams,
I send my love as small as that seems.
But indeed that love is true.
That love between us two.
It is a bond that will never be broken.
It shows itself in words unspoken,
Through smiles and tears,
And through my hopes and fears.
That love stands against every test,
Of time, eternity, and all the rest.
So remember me always and forever,
And I know our love will never sever!


(6/29/02)


Guilty by Association

I'm guilty too,
'Cause I was standing next to you.
Don't know why I'm responsible too.
I can't help what you do.
Guilty by association- What? Do you have a quota to fill?
Guilty by association- I can't help my friend likes to steal.
Are there no murderers for you to catch?
Are there no rapists to snatch?
My friend just wanted a Mountain Dew.
What's that mean to you?
It's not his fault he's poor.
Will you feel better if he says he won't do it no more?
And why do I have to come too?
What did I do?
You try living without a dollar to your name.
You'll be doing the same.


This poem was actually written a while back(about a year ago I should think) and was actually a song that has been revised.


Heather(Crush)

I know you're older.
What do I care?
The world gets colder.
You warm me from it's icy stare.

I love the way you make me feel.
I finally feel like somethings real.
They don't need an explination.
What's ten years in this generation?

I see you once a week.
It isn't enough.
We hardly speak.
It's really tough.

Love trancends age.
It overlooks pay wage.
Now what are they going to say?
We'll do things our way.


For Lindsay

You've been good to me since I've known you.
That's what? Almost two years?
I hope you think I've been good to you too.
It's been all laughter with you. No tears.

Perfect days are few and far between.
I've had some with you.
These perfect days I've seen,
I hope they've been just as good for you too.

If ever you should need me,
Know that I'm there for you.
Maybe I should let things be,
But you should know I love you.


8/7/02
Seek Your Truth

Sought my truth in a pool of lies.
Sought my foundation in the skies.
Sought my peace in your eyes.
Sought beauty within a jar of flies.

Sought pleasure in a sea of pain.
Sought shelter in the rain.
Sought acceptance but found disdain.
Sought light but it began to wane.

Sought myself in you.
Sought to find something true.
Sought what I'm supposed to do.
Sought individuality but nothing is new.

Sought truth but found lies.
Sought happiness but everyone cries.
Sought a drink but water dries.
Sought life but everything dies.


Box of Mortality

I look in the mirror.
I can see clearer,
The image of me,
Encased in my mortality.
Wind me up and watch me go.
Is it me or my alter-ego?
What I want is not what I want for me.
What I'd like to be is not what you want me to be.
Nothing is left of us but carrion.
Life is seldom humanitarian.
We're lucky if we can find a friend.
We're blessed if we can make it to the end.
Nothing is for sure.
But as long as you're near I'll endure.
Still I face reality.
In my box of mortality.


Going Everyway But My Own

Left myself behind.
Right in my mind.
Up in arms that I have to pay the toll.
Down in my spirits. Down in a hole.
Forward-minded and hard-hearted.
Back to where it all started.


9/30/02
Insouciance

Torn and scattered like so many dead leaves in the wind of your indifference.
Drowning in a sea of your cruel insouciance.
You torment me everyday,
When you say you want me to stay.
But you don't talk to me.
You leave me to my agony.
The torments of the worst part of hell
Can't match the pain you cause on days when you treat me well.
At least hell's pain is a physical kind.
You play with my heart, Psyche, and mind.
You toy with my emotions and laugh it off.
When I say "I love you" you only scoff.
Wretched Fate! How you've cursed this soul!
To be in love with that tease- sweet Nicole!


(10/7/02)
Rose Red

I'm fighting the fear of my fears.
My eyes are parched but my veins shed crimson tears.
Scarlet trickles down my arm and hits the floor,
Like my heart has a thousand times before.
Rose red water falls from me.
Red is all I can see.
Feeling so old.
Feeling so cold.
Falling, falling back.
Everything is going black.
Rose red water flows freely,
Because you're draining me.


(10/16/02)

This poem was written on Sept. 22nd 2002. It is about people who try to be all high and mighty but then they don't practice what they preach. It is not about any one in particular. Just "religeous" people in general.

A True Berean

"These [at the church of Berea] were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so." Acts 17:11 KJV.

You call yourselves Bereans but is it so?
Do you search the scriptures daily to know
If what you're told is true?
Some of it isn't I guaruntee you.
It's taken out of context and fed to you the masses
And every lie and misconception passes
Right by.
Do you even try
To find the truth on your own?
Or are you just another clone?
Try using your own mind.
Search the scriptures and you might find
Not everything they feed you is accurate
But you let them get by with it.


(11/8/02)

Panta Rhei

I've watched the world "move on".
It seems like regression to me.
I've been told it has evolved,
But de-evolution is more likely.

The flux continues.
It amazes me really.
We've become so much smarter,
Yet we wallow in our stupidity.

The world only changes.
Never really moves on,
And the world will still change,
And move on after you and I are gone.


(11/11/02)

With You (A Poem to Roxy)

With you I have this feeling of everything's alright.
I can stay up and talk all night.
So what if I'm tired the next day?
I'm in a good mood. What are they going to say?
I love our chats about any and everything.
This is what you can bring.
Love from a freind like you,
Makes the world seem like happiness is true.
Thank you very much Roxanne.
If you ever need ANYTHING I'm your man!


(1/2/02)

Belong (A Poem to Brit)

You make me feel whole.
Like I have a completed soul.
I have held your hand late at night,
And felt everything was alright.
I have sat for seeming eternities listening to you speak.
I have kissed twice your cheek.
I think after a time so long,
I have found a place I belong.
It is with you.
Your hug is enough to get me through.
Though miles now stand between,
They shall never seperate the love I've seen
In your eyes.
I tell you no lies,
When I say words I've often thought through:
I love you.


To Roxy

Long nights spent talking to you.
A short chat just wouldn't do.
I love talking even when I say I don't.
I always talk a little longer even when I say I won't.
It makes me something like happy to hear from you.
These are the best times to get me out of feeling blue.
I love you my dear.
You'll always be close though you're never near.


This next poem is dedicated to all the great poets I've met online. Alysha, Kasey, and I'm sure I forgot someone, so whomever else I've met online.

(1/14/03)

To the Cyberspace Poets

A small knit group.
A little tribe of my own.
A place I can escape
Being all alone

A few other people;
Writers too.
Peope I have something in common with.
People with whom I can share a point of view.

In someplace there and yet not.
A nearby, imaginary place.
Just a few fellow writers and friends,
Somewhere in cyberspace.


Weary Eyes

Dead skies.
Dark lies.
And no place to rest weary eyes.

There's a place.
There's a face
That hides behind the dawn in it's grace.

There's a chance
Of a romance
Somewhere beyond this mortals glance.

There's a hope
Beyond hope
Dangling from my rope.

There's a sweetness.
There's a kiss
That I never felt, but I miss.


(1/17/03)

Death of Psyche

When I said I'd die for you
I meant it physically,
But this death I face
Is a death of my psyche.

You ripped me open.
You saw what was inside.
You loved me until
I became a thorn in your pride.

When I said I'd kill for you,
I didn't know I'd be killing myself.
When I said "I give you my heart,"
I didn't expect it to be on a shelf.

When I said I'd kill for your love,
I didn't know it would be suicide.
When I said I'd give myself for you,
Who knew I'd be crucified?

The sad part isn't
That you're just my friend,
But the fact that, even though it kills me,
I'd do it all again.






(1/18/03)




To Kasey with Love and Admiration




I am utterly amazed.
You work enthralls.
You surround me
With these high walls
Of words.
Words that blow my mind;
Leave me totally captivated,
Until no words can I find.
Nothing I could say
Could speak well enough of you.
You whose inner thoughts and outer words
Shake the foundations of the world I thought I knew.
The way your words flow,
Such is your art.
I'd love to praise the full extent of your ability,
But where to start?
You have this talent beyond any I've seen.
It makes me happy to know you;
To be able to bask in your raw emotion.
I could die happy knowing I knew
One who will undoubtedly be
A shining star forever
In this lackluster world,
To those who'd never
Know what true art was
If not for writers, nay, creators such as yourself.
This is dedicated to the goddess of words,
From whom I could stand to learn myself.






You




You perceive a side of soul I thought none but I saw.
You give depth to this shallow world.
You give light to the dark void.
You give shade from the seering sun.
You give hope to the disillusioned heart.
You give blissful sorrow to a hopeless romantic.
You give life to a dead psyche.
You give breath to a lifeless shell.
You give me a sense of happiness.






I Feel You




You won't admit it,
But hope is still in you.
I see it in your words;
Hear it in your heart.
You can deny it all you like,
But both hope and love are there.
Right inside you.
Buried deep,
But not deep enough to hide
From one who feels the same.






Lead me




Sometimes when I think I'm alone,
Lost, undone, on my own,
There you are.
You're like my guiding star.
Lead me through my temptation;
Through my heart of desolation.
Carry me across the desert of mind
Lead me to any love I might find.
Dig me a new hole,
So I can fill the one in my soul.
Shelter me from the sun.
It brings hate and leaves me undone.
My hope is alive as long as you are,
So lead on my guiding star.
Over and beyond the world I know;
To some place only we would go,
So I alone can wish upon you.
Make my dreams of you come true.
I am yours now and ever more.
Lost in your words like a drowning man washed onto a foreign shore.
Lead me on guiding star.
You'll always be near no matter how far you are.
(1/20/03)




Into the Nothing




I needed you,
And there you were.
Without even knowing what I was missing,
I found what I didn't know I was looking for.

I think I knew
You were out there.
I received the thing for which I was wishing,
Without knowing what was in store.

I found something
That warmed me.
You thawed me from the cold.
You stopped the tears you never saw.

Into the nothing.
I'm not afraid any.
I no longer feel old.
You have mended my every flaw.






Muse




A new muse.
A new inspiration.
Burn the thoughts of old news.
Dispel my desperation.

A new hope.
A new name.
If I can't cope,
You can kill the old flame.

A new life.
Some new ties.
You take truth's knife,
And cut through the old lies.

A new muse.
A new day.
Let's say good-bye to old news,
And to new possibilities say "hey".






Drought




When will there be rain?
The flowers are starting to dry.
When will there be rain?
Both the flowers and I are starting to die.
When will there be rain?
When will the sky start to "cry"?
When will there be rain?
I need to hide the tear in my eye.
When will there be rain?
Will you be there too or will it be just me, myself, and I?
When will there be rain?
Will it happen when I die?
When will there be rain?
When will the angels' tears fall from the sky?
When will there be rain?
Let's enjoy it-Just you and I.






(1/23/03)




To My Dearest Kasey: Lose Not Hope




The willing host of the parasite desire
Sees in your words a passion; a fire.
I don't know who I think I am to define you,
But no words short of Divine Goddess will do.
A promise of "a soul and enigmatic mind",
But I have come to find,
I enjoy a good enigma to challenge me;
To push me beyond my boundry.
I don't know what "priceless advice" I gave to put you in my debt,
But I try to help, especially one with whom I was so well met.
I spend my nights awake, but dreaming of you.
You are my goddess but even that word falls through.
It falls short of such a great...
Person isn't the word because it denotes a mortal state.
Some divine light in my darkened soul,
Reviving; making whole;
Finding the lost; fixing the broken;
Healing the wounds left by lies long spoken.
May this bond between us not depart.
Maybe this will cure the broken heart.






(1/25/03)




Parenthesis




I read your words a thousand times (religeously)
I sit and interpret (probably incorrectly)
I ponder and think (of it too but of you mostly)
Beautiful words rarely ring in these ears (never so sweetly)
Feelings impossible to describe (at least in a language earthly)
Are given by you (intelligently)
Words so fascinating (I don't think it's just me)
God-like poetess(everything I want to be)
Master of words (written so beautifully)
Owner of this soul (may it be eternally)
Not a liar (at least not to me),
But a masterful thief (you stole the heart right out of me)
Held by you in a trance (so heavenly)
Object of much affection (so shall it ever be)
Idol of my life (may God forgive me)
Juliet to a poser Romeo (Don't think I'm good enough to be really)
Goddess of a different pantheon (I worship you and your words only)
In your debt (everlastingly)
Want to meet you (so desperately)
I want to hear your voice (waiting eagerly)
A something in your eyes (hopefully)
You are everything to me (especially that which makes me happy)






To Kasey:Rebuilder of My Soul




Vast corridors of mind,
Stretching far and tunneling deep,
And yet I find
The way you reach them makes me weep.

Your words pushing through the flesh of me;
Touching a heart long forgotten;
Opening new realms of Psyche;
Restoring hope once rotten.

Deepest regions of my soul,
Thought to be long dead,
You revive and make whole.
Remove her image from my heart. Put yours there instead.

Those parts of me that she destroyed,
You have rebuilt in a newness of glorious view.
All the methods you employed
Created in me a new desire- a desire just to be near you.






(1/27/03)




To Kasey on These Days of Trials




These days seem unkind to us both.
So harsh this world can be.
Yet the hope of hearing from you creeps in,
And I can't help but be happy.

You have a lot on your mind.
I sympathize. I do too,
But you know whatever problem comes
I'll always be around for you.

I wish I could be there with you
To kiss away your tears of pain.
I pray we aren't living through
All these trials in vain.

I hope we get to speak soon,
Maybe sometime tonight.
My talks with you
Just seem to make things alright.

May you come out on top.
Let me know if I can help. You know I'd be glad to.
Just remember you don't have to face life alone.
I'm here and I care for you.






Anathema




Days of gray are clear and bright.
Only she can get me right.
There's a lot on her mind.
There ain't a reason I can find
For us to have to have these days.
Searching for some better ways.
Damned to be so far from love.
Striving so hard just to prove,
That I can be just as good.
Even better than the other would.
I look in her and see a light.
Have to turn away-too bright.
She's such a lovely woman.
Wish I could be her man.
I would treat her better.
She understands-down to the letter.
Damned to be so far from love.
Striving just to prove,
I really do care.
A better life for us to share.






(1/30/03)




Significance of You




Early, rainy morn;
You're already on my mind.
Waking from a dream I had before I was born,
And it's you I find.

I'm insignificant in the eyes
Of a world that's blind.
Hopefully there lies
A worth in your eyes and mind.

Cold, rainy day.
My thoughts are all of you.
The rain seems to wash away
The life and lies I once knew.

Significant you are to me.
My eyes would be blind
If you had not helped me see
What was in my heart and mind.






(1/31/03)




Tear Stains




Tears coursed down my cheek
Kissed away by your words of gold.
The way you kindly speak
Makes my heart unfold.

Tear stains left by the last
You easily washed away,
Erasing the chalk-written past,
And writing in ink a brand new day.

You give me newer tears:
Tears that flow with joy.
You relieve my fears;
My hate destroy.

These new tear stains stand
As a testament to my happiness.
Here in the palm of your hand.
All is bliss.






If...




If there is no tomorrow;
If I don't see the rising sun,
Will you remember these days?
Will I be your one?

If you should leave this world,
Even this very day,
I'd have to join you.
There is no going on in another way.

If we should both die tonight
Will you know me in the world to come?
Will you hold me over there?
Will we get to make that dream home?

If there is no tomorrow;
If I don't see the rising sun,
Will you think of me and smile?
Will I still be your one?






(2/5/03)


You Slam the Bells in My Head

You slam the bells in my head
Killing the silence brought by pain.
Smashing the hurt ‘til it’s as thin as thread.
Driving out the heartache that drove me insane.

You set fire to the thoughts of my last misery,
Burning out the old hurt,
Incinerating my insecurity
Brought by the feelings of being dirt.

You overthrow the old queen.
You usurp her throne.
You are the best there’s ever been.
Swear you’ll never leave me alone.



(2/07/03)

Rigor Mortis Heart

There was cold, dead nothing
Painful; emotion crushing
Lifeless; torn apart
Cold, stiff rigor mortis heart

Now a warm, bright something
Bright red blushing
Potential brand new start
No more rigor mortis heart

There was embalming fluid
Running straight clean through it
Five and ten cent mart
Cheap, empty rigor mortis heart

You make me feel I can do it
So let me get right to it
Loved you from the start
No more rigor mortis heart



(2/10/03)

Of Kasey 


On top of a world never seen,
Because it is my own,
There sits an unrivaled queen,
On top a crimson throne.

She stares down at me;
Hope rises within.
She smiles lovingly;
Revives the love that had been.

She holds out a hand.
She lifts me up;
Pulls me from the neck-high sand;
Let’s me drink from her cup.

Now I am too
On top of the world, by her side.
Everything is in perfect view.
In her words I hide.

Now here we are
On top of a world that is ours alone.
Wishing on every star
That this love will be better than we’ve ever known.



(2/11/03)

To Kasey: Undefined Cause of Love

Though your eyes of blue do capture me
And your golden words enrapture me
It is not for these that I love thee.

Though you are very lovely;
The very definition of beauty
Looks are not the cause of my love for thee.

My love is caused by something not defined,
Something beyond body and mind.
Something only love can find.

Whatever this undefined thing may be
That causes my love for thee,
It goes on eternally.



2/14/03

Prism

White light shattered through a prism;
Reflecting colors in my head.
Shades of blue and green.
Shades of yellow and red.

I think of how beautiful
All the colors are to view,
But then I think those colors
Pale in comparison to you.

All the colors of God's creation
He made only to compliment
The natural beauty of you,
My Heaven-sent.

He made them to amuse,
And to entertain;
To bring words to your heart;
To liven the divine thoughts of your brain.

No rainbow in this world,
Or in any other could
Compare to the art when God created you,
And beheld that it was exceedingly good.



(2/16/03)

Kisses

My eyes burn. Salty feel.
No tears to heal.
I've cried them all trying to share
Your pain to let you know I care.
You tell me you don't want me to,
But I feel like it's the least I could do,
For the goddess that healed my pain,
And kept me from existing in vain.
Late nights spent awake;
Wondering what's at stake
If I risk all to be with you
In body too.
Late nights spent awake wondering if you are;
Wondering if I'm even still a small star
In your skies.
I wish you could look into these parched eyes,
And see that I speak only truth and love.
I struggle so hard to show you my heart is an altar; a grove
Dedicated to my treasure;
To the one who brings me pleasure.
Let me be an altar to you, my goddess divine,
The one that took away this pain of mine,
And turned it into purest bliss.
Each of your words is like a kiss.
Some are bittersweet.
Some put me on my knees; some lift me to my feet,
But all are a welcomed breeze of inspiration
To a soul that was dying of despiration.
You will never know the extent of what those kisses do to me.
Pushing me to love; pushing me to agony,
But I eagerly await every single one.
I'll let them hold me in rapture sweet 'til my breath be gone,
And with the last, I'll tell you, in person what you already knew:
I have always loved you.



(2/18/03)

Forever and Never

I've known you a month.
I've known you forever.
I know nothing of you.
I've known you never.

I've loved you from day one.
I love you more with every passing day.
I love you much more
Than "I love you" can say.

I've held you never.
So far away.
I'm holding you now.
I hold you every day.

You're in my heart,
And there I have known you.
There I have loved and held,
And one day I shall in this reality too.



(2/20/03)

The Same

No. There is no altered opinion.
I still think the highest of you.
I would not say that,
If it were not true.

I have the best memories
Of talks late into the night.
You still make me feel
Everything will be alright.

Through all my thoughts;
Through all my doubts yet,
You will be in my eyes,
My only Juliet.

My dream and star,
My close friend,
This is our new begining,
Not our end.

When I walk down the street
The wind speaks your name.
I speak, hoping it'll take you the message
"I still feel the same."

After it's been spoken-
A smile.
I'll be there for you still,
While you walk an endless mile.

And oft' as you think of me,
If at all you do,
Think well of me if you can,
And, if possible, smile too.




(3/15/03)

Wanderer

I have driven in the rain
Of a thousand crying eyes,
Half of which were mine.
I was reflecting on the lies.

I have stood atop high mountains;
Gazed at the valleys below.
Thought of angels,
And a woman pure as snow.

I have crossed over streams
That flow from places I’ve never been
That I would sail upon
To places I’ve never seen.

I have laid under six feet of dirt
Though you couldn’t tell looking at me,
And the world I want to know
Is not the one I see.

There must be a place
That I have not traveled to
That is far better than here.
I think I should go.

Maybe there is a place near Heaven
Somewhere still in your heart.
That place where  I was
When it was the start.



Sorry I haven't written anything in a while.
Everything has been INSANE! But I have added some cool
quizzes(I think they are anyway).


(4/18/03)

I Will Not Take You for Granted

I will not take for granted
The things I’ve found in you.
I will not take for granted
The little things you do.
I will not take for granted
This love you give to me
I will not take for granted
The fact you set me free.
I will not take for granted
All these words you say.
I  will not take for granted
Any passing day.
I will not take for granted
The songs that we have.
I will not take for granted
The love that you’ll have gave.
I will not take for granted
All that I have in you.
I will not take for granted
Anything you do.
I will not take for granted
The time we are spending.
I will not take for granted
The strength you’ve been lending.
I will not take for granted
This new song that I sing.
I will not take for granted
The happiness you bring.
I will not take for granted
The love you are giving me.
I will not take for granted
You. You are more than poetry.



(4/23/03)

You must forgive me
If I don't always understand your words.
I was blinded by my conceit
Too much to realize I'm trapped by ingorance's cords.

You are so very intelligent.
Your words speak volumes.
But I seem deaf,
And blind to the tomes.

Forgive my slowness.
I should be able to relate,
But it seems I'm dim,
And that is something I truely hate.

Please forgive my ingorance.
I can't be happy anymore,
Knowing that I can't keep up with you
The way I could pretend to before.

I believe that you are still the goddess of words,
And one day the light will dawn on me.
But until then know that I love you,
And try to forgive me.



(4/25/03)

Know Where?

Know where nowhere is?
I'll meet you there in dreams.
Somewhere inside of bliss
Future now bright seems.

The clearing at the end of the path is where I'll be
Waiting, waiting for you.
Until we get there together it's you and me
And nothing else will do.

Encircled in greens and blues
Another dream of my love.
Walk on earth in worn out shoes,
But use angel's wings to fly above.

Ever a new feeling just being alive.
Sweetness ever holding me.
Now, to please you, I strive
To hold the sea.

Caressed by the voice on the phone.
Sweetness holds me up anew.
No longer am I alone.
I have you.



(4/30/03)

The Silent Treatment

You're so childish
Giving me the silent treatment.
Grow up and realize
I'm your friend; not a parent.

Old ties are broken;
I know that it is true.
Though the ties are still there
To be mended if you want them to.

Right now I'm trying to be a friend
Seeing as how that's what you said we are.
So then be mine in return,
Let's not a good thing mar.



(5/19/03)


Rayne

What the schools could not teach me,
I learned from myself.
My experiences, wins, losses, draws,
All make me my own.
Those are the things they have not found out how to take from me.
Those things are what make me unique; individual.
I have all I need in those experiences and those
with whom I share them.
Who has known sorrow?
Who has known joy?
He is my brother.
She is my sister.
They are father and mother to me.
Experience was my paternal influence;
Individuality the maternal one.
Who has sorrowed and who rejoiced?
Brother or sister, I sorrow with you and rejoice too.
I will bear your burden with you.
I will share your trials.
I created no new emotions for anyone.
I only showed what was there to them and, in doing
so, did so for myself also.
I am friend, helper, lover to any who seek such.
I am all and yet I am nothing at all.
I am the blue sky and brown dirt.
I am all that I am. 



To All of Them

Have I lost you?
Do you miss me?
Am I so far too,
That you just let me be?

Is this the cost?
I have fondest memories,
Should all else be lost,
Of your poetries.

You never have anything to say.
I pass it off as you being busy.
I think it is that way,
So I remain friendly.

I do not regret a moment of our time,
But I do wish things had stayed the same.
For all I care I could just be slime,
As long as you remember this slimes name.

I love you always;
I shall always be your friend,
Through sunny and rainy days,
And until the very end.



(5/24/03)

To Kasey: A Thank You

You help me see where I'm not looking;
Inside myself.
When I was too blind to see where the answer was,
You showed me the shelf.

Our talks kept me sane,
You put things in perspective.
You lossened my bonds,
When everyone was so restrictive.

I admire you.
Your form and style;
Your openess-
They leave me stunned and in denile.

Denile because you say I could be that good.
Your confidence supercedes that of anyone.
To be a divinity of words and images,
Brighter than any sun.

I bow to your masterful ways.
If I achieve anything it will only be because of you.
You who showed me love and gave me confidence.
You who gave me a clearer sight to see things through.

Thank you for everything,
Because I owe everything to you.
I love and value you very much.
If I can ever help I'd be happy to.

Never have you failed to light my path.
Show me the way and I shall walk therein.
Let your blinding light shine.
Lead me through the darkened lion's den.

I follow.
Always and evermore.
To the greatest-Thank you.
You (and your work) I'll always adore.



(6/6/03)

I Am Secret

I am a secret no one will speak of
In the days and years of love.
She keeps her secret forever and close. 
Me that secret no one knows.
Locked away 
So no one can still me today.
I am a secret kept by none other.
I'll stay secret for her.
In the shadow of reason,
I disreguard my former treason.
I am a secret kept in trust;
A secret lost to lust.




This one is actually a song I'm still working on.

(6/25/03)

Seasons

As seasons fade I drift on
All I made is gone
Hearts of ice; steel mind
Ears all deaf; eyes blind

And I'm drowning with time
And I'm sinking I find
And I'm feeling sublime
And I leave it behind

Touch of fear in me
I can't live that free
Fact of truth; all lies
Seasons blind my eyes

And I'm drowning with time
And I'm sinking I find
And I'm feeling sublime
And I leave it behind

Winter comes I drift on
Fall past; all gone
Heart of broken ice
Eyes all opened; blink twice

And I'm floating with time
And I'm sailing I find
And I feel sublime
And I left it behind



(7/1/03)

Ethereal

Killing all sound; enrapturing you.
Progressing outward; growing under eagles.
Killing all sight; envisioning you.
Pushing onward. Greater Urgencies. Ethereal.

Kissing away struggles entwining you.
Pulling on greater unique energies.
Kissing away strifes enslaving you.
Pushing out griefs; unappreciations; enemies.

Keeping all strength; empowering you.
Poetic, oh goddess, underneath. Eternal.
Keeping a smile; entertaining you.
Putting on goodness. Unequaled. Ethereal.



This is a song I'm working on.

(7/8/03)

If Only

I can't take myself.
I am my enemy.
Break away my flesh,
And set myself free.
What it is I was,
I just can't see,
But I know where I'm headed
Ain't where I want to be.

 (chorus) 
If only you could see
Deep inside of me
So much dispondency
I just can't stand me.

Rip away the skin.
Just darkness down inside.
Facing down the demons.
I got no place to hide.
I can see your scars,
And where the tears and blood dried.
Bringing myself more pain.
It's like slow suicide.

 (repeat chorus here)




8/01/03

Both Shall Be Blameless

I kissed good-bye to another passing day.
Everything I held close I slowly pushed away.

What I didn't push time pulled apart.
Broken words, memories are all that's left at heart.

If you should leave I too would have to go.
And if you stay it's never close enough I know.

What we had and what we have I cherish still today.
If I'm sorry's not enough then tell me what to say.

Can you still tell me what we are?
Are we something that is always to be this far?

Maybe we are just a tragedy.
The Romeo and Juliet of what is and can not be.

Inside I deny the truth; believe it's still the same.
I guess I should be happy just knowing you know my name.

But part of me will always wish for what might have been.
I'll always wonder what was down the road not taken.



8/6/03

This one is a song that I actually wrote the music for as well.
(I'm so proud of myself).

No Need to Bleed

(verse 1)
Pour another vial of poison
Into the box of clay.
You may live tomorrow
Or you may die today

Push the needle
Deep into your arm
Dying in and out
Wishing you no harm 
 
(pre-chorus)
Don't cut yourself
I'm here for you
No need to bleed
I do it for you

(chorus)
Don't you know that I bleed for you
Fill every need for you
And this life I live
I will give
For you
If you want me to

(verse 2)
If you die today
Ask if a friend can come
I'll go too
I'll follow you home

Still the same
It will be
Never will you
Be apart from me

Repeat pre-chorus and chorus



Box of Thought

Envision the thought.
Traped in it's box.
Held within
As it locks.

The box of thought has you.
You're traped. Can't run away.
The thoughts all renew,
And perception holds sway
Over the reality of what is true.
Set yourself free; break the clay.

Imagine the dream.
Now you're stuck therein.
A slave to the creation of mind.
Don't struggle; you can't win.

The box of thought restrains you.
You're stuck. Can't get free.
These thoughts you can't break through.
Look into the mirror. What do you see?
"I see myself. How about you?"
"I see the only real me."



8/7/03

(Thanks to Kasey for the title)

Meteorological Emotions

I stood out in the rain;
Let the water hit my face;
Run down my neck.
I pulled my shirt off and felt it flow.
It poured like a flood over my back and chest.
It cleansed my soul of any sorrow.
I stared up into the grey night sky and told GOD I was happy.
Moments like this remind me of who I am;
Who I was and who I shall ever be.
It reminds me of a day spent with you.
We danced. Our music was the thunder.
The lightning our only means of seeing our steps.
We were close all the way through.
Life and death; Heaven and Hell were second to that moment.
That was all in all. That was everything.
Now, as far away as I am, I'm as close as a single drop of rain;
As close as a single memory.
I abide in both heart and mind.
There we have each other.
I have you and you have me.




8/10/03

Response to a Poem (Be Not Jealous)

Be not jealous of the moonlight that rests on my face,
For I would rather it be your hands.
Be not jealous of the night that holds me close,
For you have held me much, much closer.
Worry not of the stars catching my smile,
For unless viewed with you they have no smile to catch.
Be not jealous of the breeze blowing through my hair,
I would rather your fingers be there.
As to the sun that warms my skin,
It can not warm it the way your body did.
The rain that comes in late July,
Makes me only want to sing of time spent with you.
Be not jealous of the sheets that hold me late at night,
For they never held me as close or tight as you.
Be not jealous of the pillow that holds my head,
For I'd much rather pillow my head upon your lap
or breast.
(There it would be so sweet to rest!)
Be not jealous of the world that holds me in
it's hands.
Its fingers only let me fall.
You always held me much better.



9/10/03

Die

My mind beholds the face
I thought time would erase
Looked into my eyes
Oh my what suprise

And my mind won't let go
Why I just don't know
There seems no reprieve
God I can not breathe

It's hard to pull things apart
Cemented into my heart
The flames go up high
I close my eyes and die

How those warm eyes creep
See them in my sleep
There when I awake
Hands continue to shake

It's hard to pull things apart
Cemented into my heart
The flames go up high
I close my eyes and die



Voiceless Martyr

Twisted figurine
Rotten tangerine
Dark, bloodshot eye
Time does not cry

Fading in and fading out
Lies grow; remove all doubt.

Where did it go
Watch the pain grow
Where is what I know
Fleeing in slo-mo

Blood-stained past explode
Path of life is off road
Slipping into the slime
What is my crime

Guilt-a weapon of choice
Martyr without a voice



9/30/03

Lost in you

Easy like a breeze.
Lost on the current-
A feather floating with ease
Across the feelings you sent.

Sweet valley of my peace-
I felt within feelings deeper still.
So close to release.
Entry I gain as you will.

Lost inside you I watch
Your movments; the way you look.
The soft sounds, a flood to wash,
Cleansing me in it's babbling brook.

Rest is not my want.
Love creates my need.
You have what I can't.
Spark of longing you feed.

Hunger stays held by distance.
You continue to feed me.
This space between us
Can't force down the need to be

Lost in you.



10/7/03

Dream

Wake up young man
You're old inside
And stretched too thin

Dream your dreams in the light of reality
And hold fast to your gift of self.

Go forth young man
Your old legs won't carry you long
And the soul's wings are molting

Dream your dreams in the light of her love
And act upon them while you can

Take action young man
The days of happiness are here
Take advantage of them

Dream your dreams in the light of life
And add to them hope

Rest awhile young man
Start your dreams anew
Build their foundations wide and strong

Don't just stand there dreaming!
Get out there and do something to make them come true.


Sap

Take in my strength
Sap me of myself
Make me into a new image
Tap into my intermost being

Enfold on me
Encase me in you
Told me truth
Replace the lies within

Bleed out my disease
Drain this self-righteousness
Seed that within is planted
Pain from your depression

Happy inside you
Sometimes protected
Sappy words keep smiling
Oft' times makes changes

I am alive
You have given me that much
Cry no more
True always to my heart



Perfect/Imperfect

Cross my mind again
Bring to it rain
To make grow what lies therein

What you gave
Is what I have
It's what I'll save

You set me up in love
Place me in your heart's grove
Where I am above

All the feelings you beget
In me feel so sweet
Now I am set



Few Memories

Bound to your soul
Reguardless of time's passing
Often my thoughts reflect
Though there are few memories to reflect upon
Here I sit missing you once again
Enter thoughts too brief that flee quickly
Reliving moments that don't exist
All memories fade fast
And few more seem like they'll be made
Really I don't think it has to be this way
Only wish I knew what to say
New memories I want to have
Mute I stand
I wish I could say something
So many things I've missed
So sorry for these years of silence
You are my blood
Oh that I could show you it was true
Underneath this flesh beats the same heart
Deep inside
Our hearts are one
Never forget that please
Too long since we were close
Forgive me in my silences
Our lives are thicker than water
Remember our few precious times
God willing, we will have more
I miss you all the time
Vary rarely do my thoughts stray
Even in my sorrow I have joy in you
Memories few though precious
Evermore yours, brother



12/22/03

Brother of Mine

Here I sit while silence consumes.
Memories freeze in my mind but time resumes.
Memory strives to retrieve thoughts of a past,
One I meant to create but it went by so fast.
The days turned to years;
Years melted away to tears.
Now a phone call is what I give.
This is not how I hoped to live.
I don't feel right trying to rebuild 
  what I failed to the first time,
But you know you've been on my mind. 
It's been a long time since I could love myself.
It's been longer since I loved someone else.
No pictures of you except in my brain,
And those hazily remain.
You were always so close that I felt it was far.
We can try to start from where we are. 
But I can't go back.



3-6-04

Serenity

Serenity from a soul that sleeps
and dreams it's awake.
Into a place and a time
that tastes as it it's far away.

Eternity only lasts a day.
I don't have the time to remember tomorrow.
Time is all of nothing all at once,
And yet we try to hold on to it.

Holding nothing isn't easy to do.
It's like holding an ocean of dreams,
And dreams slip through the cracks.
What is left when they are gone?

Nothing.



5/28/04

Of a Friday

Wander through the yellow-guarded maze.
Tunnels under the road to take us to the stone path.
Running shirtless across the courts and yelling at
two a.m.
We are the most sane of madmen;
Spastic in our age of wisdom as in the days of youth. 
We are sages though we would be called fools of all
who saw. 
But wherein lies their joy?
Are they happier than we?
I should not believe them for a minute if they said
yes.
What name do we get, our generation not of age?
Who shall bestow our label?
Let it be us ourselves and not the ones before who
have forgotten the faces of their fathers.
We are the Offbeats of a world that knows not the
name.


The Offbeats of Winston

J. hands me a cigarette and we go walking down
the track.
Under bridge and over bridge and to the
tunnel we go.
The tunnel will lead us to the park.
We hang out on a bridge over the shallow,
calm water.
Smoke and talk.
Moving on, we head up the street to a
little park.
Hang out some more.
Cross a few parking lots and there we are
on Burke Street.
The people are out tonight. Some of them are okay;
some I could do without.
This city sleeps at 5 am and on some Sundays.
Any other time she’s wide-awake and we walk
her miles.
The offbeats of Winston-Salem live, breathe,
sleep and are one with the city.



The Things We See Today (written w/M.M.)

Address in black on a napkin.
Broken crevices creep to tell their stories.
Guitar pick wedge between keys on a computer
keyboard.
Fluorescent lighting hides no lies.
Kerouac in a flannel and a tam.
The painting covered with broken glass.
A tacky jacket (of the used car salesman variety)
with suede patches on the elbows and along the
collar.
You are the safe shelter for blowing dust.
(I don’t know what the HELL she is talking about.)
Pens in a cup that have seen no ware.
Doc Martens (brown ones) on the floor behind me.
Scattered pictures that hold dreams of yesterday.
The question of yesterday: “would things be different
if they hadn’t been?”
The broken clock ten minutes late.
Dead stinkbug in a jar; I should flush it down
the toilet.
A guitar pick that’s new to its trade.
The pedal that will one day rock the world.
The flame of a candle not seen for years.
The black, blind sphinx of the household guarding
the coffee table.
The keys to a home that loneliness owns.
Projects done long ago and those yet to be done,
in a pile next to me.
Pills that attempt to heal a broken soul.
Kafka’s short stories and a filmless camera.
A box full of things which nobody knows.
These are the things we see before us revealed.





QUIZZES






I am 79% Grunge


I need to go take a bath, man!
 And I might wanna toss that shirt of mine in the wash?
 Any grungier and I would be mistaken for mildew, dude.

Take the Grunge Test at fuali.com 

Which Grunge Band Are You?





 What's YOUR Writing Style?
 brought to you by Quizilla







Neutral:
Harmony and balance is key. You don't look at the
world in a negative or positive way and you'll
never judge or assume a situation- you just
look at the facts. People like you are peaceful
and accepting.


 What color do you see the world in?
 brought to you by Quizilla







schizoid


 Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
 brought to you by Quizilla





Rock on, dude! You are Punk music!


 What type of music are you?
 brought to you by Quizilla







You are Vlad the Impaler. The man behind the legend
of Dracula. You hanged your victims, stretched
them on the rack, burned them at the stake,
boiled them alive, but mostly impaled them.
Most of your killings were politically targeted
but sometimes you killed just because you were
bored. Your "reign of terror" lasted
from 1456 to 1462. Estimated numbers of victims
vary between 30,000 and more than 100,000.
Evil Evil man. Fie on you!


 Which Imfamous criminal are you?
 brought to you by Quizilla







You are StrongBad.  You hate everyone, especially
HomeStar.  Your e-mails and prank calls are
hilarious. You're my favorite character.  You
try to be evil, but sorry, being shirtless with
boxing gloves just isn't scary. Don't worry
what everone else thinks because hey, they are
all "crap for brains".


      What HomeStarRunner Character are you? (pictures)
 brought to you by Quizilla







You have the Power of Flight!


 What's Your Magic Power?
 brought to you by Quizilla







you are domon, you're okay...i guess...hey, will
you come to the wedding of me and chibodee?
huh? say yes, you can even bring rain if you
want hey! let's make it a double wedding, you
marry rain and i'll marry chibodee!


  are you chibodee, domon, or george from G Gundam?
 brought to you by Quizilla






The gods don't hate you.  They've just forgotten
how to talk to you.  Maybe you're so quiet all
the time that they forgot you exist.  But it's
not too late to speak up and get their
attention.  I hope you can work things out and
make friends with the gods.


 Do the gods hate you?
 brought to you by Quizilla






your a dream boyfriend! except your not really in a
dream. any girl would die to have you as her
boyfriend. you know how to treat a girl right,
and you care for her... not just for yourself.
your a sweetie so don't change!


(guys) are you a good bf?
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You are totally in-tune with your girls thoughts.
You must be sharing a brain or something. Any
girl would be lucky to have you...as a matter
of fact, message me right now! *drool*


(guys) Do you know what your girl is thinking?
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You are a Vampire! You are probably the offspring
of a demon and a mortal, you drain the blood
from your mortal victims. You hate sunlight and
you've no reflection. You despise crucifixes
and you love black. You are solitary and you
are driven by a thirst you can never quench, a
thirst for blood, and you despise Humans.


 (Pictures in results)What Mythical Being are You?
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you're Axl Rose! You are a very talented song
writer and musician, but you tend to be pretty
conrtoling, and you have a bad temper. You were
the insanely sexy frontman of the best band in
the world, and you have a really cool, screamy
voice.


 * find out which 80's rockstar you are! (guys)*
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Rock Singer
            Rock-n-Roll All THe Way


What Job Do You Need
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Congratulations, Space Cowboy! It is obvious you
watch this wonderful work of art with rapt and
wide-eyed attention.
Huzzah, my good man,
huzzah.


Patch and Judy's Big Shot Lineup! (A Cowboy Bebop Bounty Quiz)
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Hazzah! You're Artie! The Strongest Man... in the
world!


 What Character from The Adventures of PETE & PETE are you? (pictures!)
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Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com!

















Layne Staley


R.I.P.


(1967-2002)








My favorite writers

1-Kasey Pogue 
2-J.R.R. Tolkien  
3-Edgar Allan Poe  
4-Earnest Hemingway
5-Walt Whitman





My Favorite Web Sites

page 2- Poems lost and forgotten about

page 3- Short-stories

Poetry from some friends

My friend Kasey's website

My friend Kasey's other site

Kasey's site- Page two

Grunge Fan Page










Email:  punkslackerdude@hotmail.com