- Make them sing 'Another One Bites the Dust' to the animals that died for your food before presenting the food.
-Sit in the no-smoking section and put a big stogey in your mouth, but don't light it.
- Ask for ketchup when dessert arrives.
-Order the soup de jour, then complain there are not enough jours in it.
-Ask if the wine is fresh.
- Bring you own food - this works best when you're in a fancy resturaunt and you bring McDonalds
-tip the other waiters
-willingly say that you want to clean tables because you're hungry and don't feel like paying for food
- start reciting lines from either 'The Exorcist', 'Silence of the Lambs', or 'Monty Python'
-start crying when someone orders meat because "in your past life you were a cow, pig, ect.
- Ask them to run across the road and get you something cheaper.
-Use the phrase "al dente" as often as possible, especially when asking for the bill.
-One word: charades - act out what you want to eat
-Tell them the ice cream you ordered is cold.
- Keep beckoning them over and when they arrive ask for more time.
- always ask for your drink to be "shaken not stirred" even when your in a place like Burger King
- ask the waiter to translate the menu into another language other than english
- start plucking your nose hairs, eyebrows, ect. right over the salad bar
- order chicken and have your own senece on the table