One Son: The Missing Scene


This surrogate picture from The Unnatural is sponsored by The Ship.

By: Shipper Numero Uno


EXT. OUTSIDE THE WATERGATE HOTEL - NIGHT

CLOSE ON MULDER. He's walking out of the Watergate Hotel with a disgusted look on his face. Scully is parked outside. He gets into her car and stares forward. He looks nauseous.

INT. SCULLY'S CAR

CLOSE ON SCULLY. She looks at Mulder questioningly. She raises her eyebrows.

Mulder: Scully, that was by far the most heinous act I've ever performed in my entire life. And...this from a man who's touched lots of strange goo. Lots and lots of strange goo.

Scully: Alright.

Mulder: You know I only did it to get her to trust me. We need to know all her wretched, traitorous secrets. But I just feel dirty.

Scully: Rightly so.

Mulder: Even though Chris Carter never fully explained why I...you know, I want you to know that that ho has nothing on you. I mean, that flukeman is looking pretty sexy after this. Blech! I think I almost had a seizure when she kiss...

Scully: Okay! Thank you! I got it.

Mulder: *Ahem* Sorry.

Scully: Wait. What's that on your shirt? Is that...I think it's a cootie.

Mulder: .....

Scully: It is. A BIG one.

Mulder: Anyway. You look like a serious babe tonight. Any chance that you're interested in sharing some cootage?

Scully: Sure. By the way, please don't worry about any feelings of resentment that could have arisen after this situation. I know your (does air quotes) relationship with her is nothing compared to the awesome bond we share. I am, after all, your one in five billion.

Mulder: That is so true. So, do you want to go to my apartment? I'll take a shower, and come out with no shirt on so you can check out my bod.

Scully: That sounds good. And after we check out each others hot bods at length, we can purge our negative feelings toward Diana in the form of a nasty poem and/or song. Hey, what rhymes with skank?

Mulder: Stank?

Scully: Perfect. (Winking) Let's boogie.

CUT TO:

EXT. STREET

Scully's car drives away. Camera pulls back.

THE END.


Millennium * Amor Fati * Squeeze * Ice * Redux II