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Marriage Proposals
The Consent of the Girl
It is the girl’s right to make a
decision concerning her marriage, and her father or
guardian is not permitted to override her objections or ignore her
wishes. The Prophet (peace be on him) said, A woman who has
been previously married has more right concerning her person
than her guardian, and a virgin’s consent must be
asked about herself, her consent being her silence.
(Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim)
Ibn Majah and some other transmitters report the
following hadith:
"A girl came to the Prophet (peace be on him) and
informed him that her father had married her to her cousin against
her wishes, whereupon the Prophet (peace be on him) allowed her to
exercise her choice.
She then said, ‘I am reconciled to what my father
did but I wanted to make it known to women that fathers have no
say in this matter.’
The father of a girl must not delay marriage of his
daughter if a proposal is received from a man of equal status who
is of sound religion and character. " The Prophet (peace be on
him) said, “Three matters should not be delayed: salat when its
time comes, burial when the funeral has arrived, and the marriage
of a single woman when a man of equal status has proposed.”
(Reported by al-Tirmidhi.)
He further said, “When someone with whose religion and
character you are satisfied asks for your daughter in marriage,
accede to his request. If you do not do so there will be corruption
and great evil on the earth.” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi.)
Prohibited Proposals
It is haram for a Muslim man to propose to a
divorced or widowed woman during her
‘iddah (that is, the waiting period during which
she is not allowed to remarry), for this waiting period is part of
the previous marriage and may not be violated. Although one may,
during this period, convey his desire for marriage through indirect
hints or suggestions, it may not be done through an explicit
proposal.
Says Allah (SWT):
"And there is no blame on you in what you proclaim
or hide in your minds concerning betrothal to women. Allah knows
that ye cherish them in your hearts: But do not make a secret
contract with them except in terms Honourable, nor resolve on the
tie of marriage till the term prescribed is fulfilled. And know
that Allah Knoweth what is in your hearts, and take heed of Him;
and know that Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Forbearing." (Surah 2:
Verse 235)
It is likewise forbidden to the
Muslim to propose to a woman who is already
betrothed to a brother Muslim; the one whose proposal has
already been accepted has acquired a right which
must be safeguarded in consideration of goodwill and affection among
people, especially among his brother Muslims. However, if the first
suitor terminates his betrothal or gives the second suitor his
permission, there is no harm in proceeding with it.
Muslim reported that the Messenger of Allah (peace be
on him) said,
“A Believer is a brother to another Believer. It is
therefore not lawful for him to outbid his brother in buying
something or to propose to a woman when his brother has done so,
unless he gives him permission.” And al-Bukhari reported that the
Prophet (peace be on him) said, “A man must not propose to anther
man’s betrothed unless he withdraws or gives him permission.”
Article Contributed by: itsIslam
Staff | 
