BREATHE FOR ME
Your life was getting too tough for you,
But I wouldn’t let you let go.
My best friend –
So young and beautiful,
But so hurt from your family…
The beatings and the broken hearts.
You wanted to leave it all but you hung on.
I asked you to
Breathe for me.
We grew together over the years.
Things got worse, though, it seemed some better.
Still, the pain was starting to show.
The bruises, the blood, and now the drugs.
You said they helped you escape from home.
You didn’t care anymore.
There was nothing for you is what you believed.
You told me it was over but I struggled to keep
you near me.
Your depression kept growing and I would keep
asking you to
Breathe for me.
Your body was disappearing before my eyes.
It tore me to pieces because you could have
escaped the pain long ago.
Your depression was so strong and untreated and
the drugs had you ill, as well.
I didn’t know how to help.
Only how to hold on.
Then, I found you there.
On the cold floor of your bathroom.
Tears pouring from your eyes.
A bottle of spilled pills…
Blood coming from your wrists.
I wanted to hurry for help but I knew none of what
I saw was what you were dying now from…
You looked up into my crying eyes when I laid you
in my arms.
You tried to smile once more but you never really
knew how.
You told me I was the greatest person you ever
knew and you loved me the most.
Your eyes were getting weak – the depression was
eating the last of you.
You whispered in my ear with a struggling voice:
I need you to breathe for me, this time.”
I held you a few minutes longer after you slipped away.
I was wishing I could somehow bring you back to
life happily, but you had had enough…
And I needed to let go.
Still, all this time I only lived for you.
I had been breathing for you…
But I hid my pain because I loved you.
CLOSE MY EYES
I dream of hiding on another world far from the rest
of the human race.
Where I’d never fail or upset someone ever again.
I’d have no one to make cry.
I’d have no one laughing at me or spitting out
angry words.
No one would be able to break my heart.
Warm days are all I’d know of and the sweetest
fruit would grow.
I’d only ever smile, as the only emotion I would
know of was love.
I’d always feel as though I’m loved and I’d live
in pure happiness.
I could never really find a place like this,
though.
So, I’ll just close my eyes and hope to never wake
again.
YOU CAN'T WIN
You expect me to break down,
But I won’t.
You look at me,
A little girl,
And figure you can take me.
You’re wrong.
What you fight with will never harm me.
My head is high, and my hands remain to my sides.
You could hit me,
Knock me to the ground.
Feel like a big man.
I’ll just get back up.
With just as much strength and self-esteem as
before.
You’re nothing with your hateful ways;
Picking on a girl to feel tough.
I just laugh at you because you can’t win the
fight even if you tried.
I WON
I can feel it trying to take over again.
It burns my insides and makes me want to cry…
But I don’t.
I won’t let it.
It tries to throw me down and make me bleed by
self-mutilation.
It tries to whisper thoughts about suicide…
But I ignore it.
Never again will I let depression be all that I am
made of.
I won’t ever feel helpless and unloved again.
I fought it and won…
I’m going to keep on winning.
