Self mutilation... how I delt

I used to be a little touchy on the subject, and even worse if it had to do with me in particular. Whenever I heard or read anything that had to do with cutting, or mutilation... I would get a knot in my stomach, and get extremely queezy.. and almost break into tears. I didn't take any counceling for what I went through, although I probably should have. Cutting isn't somthing that you do, and then magically recover from. Theres a lot of struggling along the way to get better, and once its all over, it stays with you. You have to wake up every morning knowing you did what you did, and seeing the scars from what you did. I'm thankful for the wonderful friends I have, because if it wasn't for them, I probably never would have pulled through. If it wasn't for them, I'd have to be in therapy right now, although I probably still should be.

Anyhow, the point of this page is... I've stopped being selfish about it. When people ask about my scars, I used to shrug it off, and say it was no big deal.. just scars I got from my cat, or that I've had since I was younger. And if a friend, or anyone else tried to talk to me about it, I'd get defensive, and I'd get that sick feeling in my stomach. All this time that I've been acting like this, I could have been helping people. I haven't done much research.. but from what I see on the internet, a lot of people are struggling with this.. and trying to deal with it, and trying to recover from it. Although you never fully recover, much like other things... eating disorders.. etc.. you can still get pretty far. But its always with you, and there can always be one little thing that sets you off to start again, so you have to be careful. The way I'm talking might sound weird to most people who know me, but this is a serious issue.. and it causes a lot of pain, for the person who's doing it especially, and for their friends and family. And instead of people struggling the way I did, and barely having anyone to talk to about it, I decided I'd try and help some people out by letting them know they're not the only ones.