good morning sunshine
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Jet- Rollover Dj
Ok, so this morning I ate an orange and half of tomato, and drank some tea... I'm fkgn hungry right now, but I'm not to admit that to anybody! No way in hell.. I ate too much yesterday, a tortilla, a piece of chicken and a small piece of berrypie. I should be drinking more water so my stomach would be full of liquid instead of food.

But now I'm feeling fine, just waiting for the thinner days to come x) I'm just wondering how I'm gonna organize my day today...probably I'll eat some salad and be happy. No meat. It just makes me sick with all that grease.
I have lost about one kilo in a few days, which is totally a great thing!

Gotta go now, there are some things to do today. Hopefully they'll keep my mind from the food.
o/

How could it be
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Lifehouse- You and Me
I'm not here to invite you in my problems or in my life, I just can't take this faking and keeping my mouth shut anymore.
In this blog I'm gonna tell everything about myself, my deepest thoughts and darkest secrets. I don't want to be harshly judged or anything, I just wanna share them with someone, ok?:)

So, I'm 20 year-old girl from Finland and whole my life I've been overweighted. Since I turned four, food has been my weak spot and most of the time it's driving me fkng crazy.
After I eat I get so mad and angry at myself, that sometimes I even purge or harm myself with something sharp. I have prayed help from all the gods I know and end up getting shit on my face time after time.

I'm so alone with this that I can't see straight.

About a year ago everything seemed to be going in the right direction. I managed to loose about ten kilos in the WeightWatchers with my mom, but she had only 12 kilos extra on her waiste and as soon as she got where she wanted, I was forgotten. There I was, alone again. It doesn't help, when someone who is about a half smaller than me comes up to me and says: "I'll help you, don't worry". How can she/he ever know how I feel?
How can I explain that eating controls me day after day like the worsest addiction? It forces me to eat every time I'm really sad or glad. The only way to stop it is to accomplish the state of mind where I don't feel a thing. And that I have succeeded to do many years ago.

In this blog I'm gonna tell You how my project "Loose the Fat and Be Pretty" is proceeding (I just came up with the name, isn't it cool? xD) and promise to leave nothing out.
This week has been a good week. I've been eating healthy food and went out for a jog.. Yesterday I didn't eat a thing. Today I ate but got a stomach ache so I stopped.

That's it for today. I'm glad I got all this out.