MOTARDS TEXT DISCOGRAPHY Singles And EPs I'm A Criminal 7"(self released, M-1, 1994) Tracks: I'm A Criminal The Fast Song My Love Is Bad Notes:Thier first release. Self Released, produced by Scuz and the Motards (#'s: M-1 (U-36807M). Xeroxed paper sleeve, very limited pressing, most likely 500 or 1000. You see these around every once in a while, so probably not less than that. Very good stuff, though unlike their later output. To Scare Hell Out Of Your Neighbors 7"(Turkey Baster, TBR-007, 1994) Tracks: Put Me Down Hangover The Slow Song Why Am I Even Here Notes: Thier sophmore EP, head to an actual label for this one, and a good one at that. Came with an 8-page comic book. Limited pressing, prolly 1000. Track 2 is a different version than availible on the Rock Kids LP. Kings Of Blues 7"(Rip Off Records, R.O. Rec. #011, June 1995) Tracks: Yo [little heart symbol] Mexico Crazy Notes:Yet another one-sided release in a butcher paper sleeve from Greg Lowery's prestigous (tee hee) label Rip Off Records. This is apparently #2 in the Texas Hick Series, though I'm not sure what was #1, or if there were any subsequent releases in the series. Now outta print, so get it while it's hot. Fuckemos Split 7"(Little Deputy, LD-7009, 1995) Tracks: Fuckemos: The Eastern Side Fuckemos: The Cavity Motards: Make You Pay Motards: Spare Change Notes: From Little Deputy Records out of Austin. Suzanne is now in a band with the guy that runs this label. Fairly limited pressing, but still fairly easy to come by. The first Motards record that I bought, for the Fuckemos tracks, and fell in love. Cryin' Out Louds Split 7"(Little Deputy, LD-7006, 1994) Tracks: Motards: Nothing Ever Changes Motards: Unhappy Cryin' Out Louds: I'm Possessed Cryin' Out Louds: Hangman Lager Notes: Another one on Austin label Little Deputy. Nice Misfits rip off art there, tee hee tee hee. Did this "Legacy of Stupidity" ever come out? Also above the address there is an offer for tapes. If anyone has any or knows of any let me know please. In the dead wax on the Motards' side it says "JOHN SUCKS!" and on the Cryin' Out Louds side it says "AWW...SHIT A HORSE" Oh yeah, came with a Little Deputy records insert. Permanent Voltage Split/Japanese Tour Single 7"(Rubber Legs Records, RL001, 1997) Tracks: Motards: Bombs Away Motards: Kick Out The Jams Permanent Voltage: Shake Permanent Voltage: Super Shift Notes: Without a doubt the rarest Motards release (that I've found. If I haven't found it, it's probably rarer.) A Japanese tour single, it was "recorded on the eve of the Motards Japan Tour. The next day the band left for the airport at 6 am." They played with Guitar Wolf, the Registators, and Supersnazz, among others on this tour. Rubber Legs Records first (only?) release. I'm going to make a wild guess at pressing #s, and say 250-500. Since this is a tour single that is usually what they are limited too. I've never seen another for sale, aside from when I bought mine, leading me to believe that not too many made it to the states. Not the same versions of the two tracks as on "Saturday Night Special Ed." LPs Rock Kids LP/CD (eMpty Records, MT-318, 1995) Tracks: Johnny Tremaine Big Fun Cash America No No The Girlfriend I Can't Wait Drivin Me To Drink You Make Me Sick (Eagles, Harrison, Reacher, Wilkes) Gotta Get Drunk (Willy Nelson) Hangover Tune Out I Got Mine Do You Wanna Do IT? Zombies Shut Yer Face Who Needs You Around? Lone Wolf Bonanza Paycheck Stick It In (M. Miguez) Notes: Thier first album. Quite possibly my favorite album of all time. God this record is good. Not a whole lot to say in the way of notes, on eMpty Records out of Seattle, as is the subsequent album. A Willie Nelson cover! Come on! It fucking rules! PLAY LOUD! Saturday Night Special ED. LP/CD(eMpty Records, MTR358, no date 1996 I think) Tracks: Drunk Girls Kick Out The Jams Alien Autopsy Brownout/Blackout Bombs Away Self Desructive Misanthrope (Inhalants) Nowhere Freak of Nature (Ramones) My Only Friend Girl Like You Leave Me Alone Scabies Notes: Of all the good Ramones songs to cover, why the hell did they pick "Freak Of Nature?" Anyway, the cover of fellow Austin spudfuckers the Inhalants more than makes up for it. Another good platter here, again on eMpty outta Sea-Town. That liner notes pic has gotta be a favorite of mine. Tee hee! Comps Shut Yer Face! Volume 1 7"(No Lie, NO LIE-004, 1994) Tracks: Jesus Christ Superfly - 40 Sugar Shack - Fuck You Hodad! Cryin Out Louds - Hot Rod Motards - The Theme From "Vampire With Rabies" Notes: All instrumentals, hence the name, provided by the song of the same name on the Motards' Rock Kids LP. The only Motards instrumental, exclusive to this comp. These Austinites are crazy for the screen printing, so there are a ton of different colored covers for this release. As I find and buy more I'll put 'em up, this is the only one I've got right now. The inside of the cover gives the # "12/33" leading me to believe that there may be as many as thirty different covers, as this is a limited #'d edition of 1000. Comes with a neato card (again screenprinted)with some dragster art and your # out of 1000. Also, comes with a sticker with the name of the comp on it. The vinyl is cheap, with a lack of black dye, so the vinyl is a translucent brown. A great comp. One Beer Short Of A Six Pack 7"(Turkey Baster/Spiderworks Fanzine, TBR/005, 1994) Tracks: Schlong - Gimme A Fuckin' Beer (parts ripped off from Billy Idol's Rebel Yell) Motards - Drive Me To Drink Marsupials - Cigarette Bummin', Beer Drinkin' Babes Cryin Out Louds - Joe's Drink Cart Quincy Punx - Beer Is God Grimple - Burning Asshole Syndrome Notes: The Motards return to Turkey Baster to crank out this beer guzzling anthem. A different version of this song would later appear on the Rock Kids LP. This version is much more raw, and there is some amusing chatter before the song. Came with Spiderworks Fanzine issue #12: The Vinyl Issue. There have been two pressings, the second, aside from saying second pressing on the back, has 2 colors on the front and colored vinyl, whereas the first pressing does not. Screenprinted, so there is undoubtedly more covers than the ones shown here. 7" vinyl only, black and various colors. Lonestar Showdown Volume 1 7" (Little Deputy, LD-7016, 1997) Tracks: Reclusives - UT Fight Song Wormdirt - High School Hero Motards - Action (Part II) Cryin Out Louds - Here We Be Notes: A sweet lil' piece o' wax here, this is a comp of all Texas bands. The Cryin Out Louds and Motards tracks are excellent, and the others ain't too shabby either. The second side of this has gone on my mix tapes consistantly since it came out. Came with insert booklet with a little bit of info on the bands and how this comp came to be. GET IT! Live At The Blue Flamingo comp. LP (King Mob Records, mob-001, 1995) Tracks: Blue Side The Motards Welcome to the Blue Flamingo! Nono The Girlfriend I (heart) Mexico Slow Song Unhappy The Peenbeets A Message From Our Sponsor! Earth Boy/Girls Are Keen! A Memento of Our Show Design For Dedication (Up With People)(!) I Remember Joe Satans Slugger Snake Eyes Hormones Over The Edge (Greg Sage/ Wipers) Flaming O Side (Flaming O, Flaming-o, get it? ha - Lump) The Paranoids A Note To The Tourists Go! Stare (sic - it's "Staring" - Lump) At The Sound (The Flaming Lips) My Life (Daniel Johnston) The Chumps Sleazy Chump Song Russian Roulette Stretford Mrs. Jones I Used To Know The Inhalants Middle Ages Gun Shopping It Was Hyper Real Busy Kids (The Huns) Laura's Last Stand Notes: This is one of my favorite and most treasured records in my collection, maybe second to my Pre BS Mummies stuff. Anyway, this album is fucking incredible. Extensive and funny insert booklet. A damn shame the Cryin Out Louds and Fuckemos aren't on this, though both are mentioned on posters in the insert. I'd give my left arm to go to some of these shows! Christ! An enormous black woman named Laura ran this place, on the last night it was open (where a few of the Motards tracks are culled from), she makes a very funny short speech, that is on the end of this record. Incredibly limited, no more than 500, but well worth tracking down. It shows up very occaisonally on ebay, and goes for a song. GET IT! Viva La Vinyl vol. #2 LP (Dead Beat, DB 13, 1996) Tracks: Hickey - The Boy Who Cried Werewolf The Padded Cell - Born Dead The Motards - My Only Friend Naked Aggression - Love Song The Wretched Ones - Prima Donna Goat Boy - 10 + 2 The Crumbs - Tolanda Don't Get The Blues The Statics - Real Creepy/Hate St. The Drags - Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah The Choice - Nowhere To Go The Gain - Sick of You Less Than Jake - Out Of The Crowd Fed Up! - Outlaw Teengenerate - Sex Cow Whatever... - SweetMeat Moral Crux - Assassination Politics Notes: Came in 2 pressings, the first of which sold out fairly quickly. The only difference is that the first pressing came with a very cool booklet with a little blurb from each band, and a paranoid manifesto of some sort on Vinyl vs. CDs and their impact on class seperation. Hey I love vinyl but jeepers. Also a little record business history and a neato diagram of how records are made. It's worth tracking down the 1st press. Pretty damn good comp too, with tracks from not only the mighty Motards, but the Statics and Teengenerate to boot. The Motards track is a different version of the song availible on Saturday Night Special ED. Never to be released on CD (Viva La Vinyl, get it?). 1st Annual Texas Speed Trials LP (No Lie, NL-012, 1995) Tracks: The Satans Primordial Drive Get Offa My Back Foot In The Door The Inhalants Mad Scramble Middle Ages Atomic (sic) Pilot Lord High Fixers Hoodoo Man's Pins The Cryin' Out Louds Mental Case Here And Gone Cut Off The Motards Fast Song I Can't Wait Do You Wanna Do It? The Rip Offs Fed Up Ugly She Said Yeah Notes: Wow, quite possibly the best assembly of 90s garage punk bands, period, and they're all live! The Lord High Fixer's track is the weakest on this comp if that tells you anything. All recorded live at Emo's, in Sunny Austin, Texas. Mr. John Motard apparently not only has pimples on his back, but pimples on his dick too (motherfucker!). If you'd like to squeeze them for him write to the contact info on the front page. You know how these Austinites are nutty for screenprinting, and this LP is no different. There are at least 3 different colored covers that I've seen, so open up those wallets and buy 'em. RAWK! TEXAS: A Collection of Texas Garage Punkers CD(Au Go Go, ANDA 198 CD, 1995?) Tracks: The Satans - Snake Eyes The Drop Outs - One Ugly Child Lord High Fixers - It's About Revolution Death Valley - Herminator Sugar Shack - If Love Paid Sons Of Hercules - Angry Girl Use The Motards - Cash America The Cryin' Out Louds - Foggy Night Jack O' Fire - Western Arizona The Inhalants - Ain't Got No Feelings Fireworks - Wicked Woman Jesus Christ Superfly - Outta Sight The Hormones - I Can't Sleep The Counts - Phantom Richshaw The 145s - Volvo Hatchback Sugar Shack - Two Headed Woman The Inhalants - Gun Shopping Death Valley - Have Rocket Will Travel The Cryin Out Louds - Swamp Woman The Motards - Johnny Tremain Sons Of Hercules - Gimme Some The Drop Outs - Night of the Phantom Jesus Christ Superfly - Looking Back The Hormones - Fun, Fun, Fun Notes: Great stuff from the down under label Au Go Go. 25 tracks worth thier weight in gold, with exclusive tracks from the Cryin Out Louds, and a version of Gun Shopping from the Inhalants that is infinitely superior to the version on the LP. The Motards tracks are different versions than on the Rock Kids LP, a little better recorded, a little more cleaned up, a little crappier. Come on it's the Motards, they can do no wrong. CD only as far as I know, and still in print, and the best CD art that I've seen in a while (tee hee!). The eMpTy Sampler II CD (eMpTy, MTR 353, 1997) Tracks: The Motards - Self Destructive The X-Rays - Thrown Up The Fumes - Depression The Derelicts - I Wanna Get Out Steel Wool - Combine The Meanies - Them Scared of Chaka - Toilet Duck Sicko - Indie Rock Day Dream Satan's Pilgrims - Devil's Punchbowl Crackerbash - Bandages The Sinister Six - Kill You Tonight Zipgun - Tight Black Pants Gas Huffer - Bomb Squad The Putters - Muscle Car The X-Rays - Grease Monkey The Motards - Shut Yer Face The Fumes - She Wears Boots The Derelicts - Life of Strife The Putters - Mistakes Gas Huffer - Night Train to Spokane Zipgun - Put Me Away The Meanies - Emulator Steel Wool - I Don't Want One Crackerbash - Your Gate Scared of Chaka - Wanna Make It Happen Satan's Pilgrims - Turkey Trot Sicko - Wave Motion Gun The Sinister Six - Go Away The X-Rays - Haitian Voodoo Baby Notes: Your run of the mill label sampler, 'cept this one happens to have the Motards on it. Released prior to Saturday Night Special ED. (on eMpTy, of course), as Self Destructive is described as "Previously Unreleased." This version is the same on the sampler and the album, as is Shut Yer Face, straight off the master tapes of the Rock Kids LP. Cooking By Strobe Light: KVRX Local Live Volume One (none, none, 1996) Tracks: Foreskin 500 - Audi 5000 Endura - Don't Hate The Kids The Motards - Self Destructive Moist Fist - Flowers and Weeds 7% Solution - Threshold Mojave 3 - Mercy Brown Hornet - Mr. Unicorn The 145s - The Eyes of Texas Dave & Deke Combo - Deke's Hot Guitar Austin Transit Authority - Cannibals Blind Willie's Johnson - Bodcaw Jubliettes - That You Do Unto Me Drums & Tuba - Lots of Luck Lute Fisk - Hug Me Glorium - Espionage Radio Golden Arm Trio - More Sad People Scheer - Goodbye Silver Scooter - Hearts and Stars Notes: Just stumbled on this one not too long ago, didn't know it existed. A rare, locally released deal this is from a college radio station that had a local live band thing on Sunday nights, and these tracks are some of the products of those shows. Neato, but gonna be quite tough to find. Compiled with love and kisses by Lumpy Sowers. If, for some unGodly reason, want to use any of this swill on your page, lemme know and I'll give you the OK. Thanks! Send me some mail and tell me what you think, or anything that you have to add. Thanks! Back To The Good Discography Sugar Pie Back To The Home Page For Jerks