ALRIGHT!! I got fed up with fuckin' Livejournal; it wasn't recognizing my username, and giving me errors up the wazoo. SO. I am going to have my journal posted here until further notice. Perhaps I'll even start my own site where people send me paypal money for a shitty server..hehe ^_^ just kidding.
Anways, I have been trying to post this conversation I had with Joanna for a while, and since I couldn't get it on Livejournal, I decided, hell, I already have this page, why not put it to good use? So I am. And that's my explanation.
This is an exerpt from a conversation I had with Joanna at about 12:00-12:40 a.m. on (technically) Friday, December 7 (a day that will live in infamy). Enjoy..I'm just venting..I hardly ever do that. Joanna told me I should post this. Dunno why...just am, now. She said this reveals a side of me people don't know "because [I] keep it hidden." So, sit back and enjoy your reading.
there can be nothing.
i need something to make my life complete.
what do i lack?
why do i complain? and whine? and bitch?
why? why? why?
argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
frustration is abounding
what i want
i can't have
what i have
i don't want
stupid paradoxes left and right
now i'm on the brink of tears
why do i make myself like htis?!!!!!!!!
this?!
this is a circle
i keep travelling in the same direction
but it makes a circle
can't you say something?
i'm kinda pouring out my heart
and wishing that i weren't
but i have to
to someone
i want there to be someone
that i can say anything to and they'll understand what i mean
and they won't criticize me for it
and they'll accept me
and like me
i want people to like me
but i have this horrible feeling that hardly anyone does
that i'm that annoying tagalong
that follows everyone
and no one bothers to tell him anything important
and they dislike him but don't want to tell him
because they feel sorry
or think that he'll make a fuss
i hate being like that
hate hate hate hate hate
where does it all end?
ARGH!
.................................................
i hate awkward silences
so much
see?
again!
HATE!
BLOODY FLAMING RETCHED HATRED!!!!!
for what?
i know someone in the same boat as you
likes a person
and can't muster courage to say a single thing
someone who hardly talks to anyone in the first place
that is quiet, yet intelligent, and extremely shy
a bit like you
curses
now i'm sick again
hold on, i need to dive for a toilet
By the way, I was sick during this, so when I dove for the toilet, I was puking. Yum.