"So-and-so is sooooooo dreamy!! tehe"
Okay, where to start...let see he does know who I am!! He knows my frist name, last name and middle name....okay, okay...just bear with mah, cause Ive never done this before...hmmmm...how would I decribe him?? Well...periced!! Oh yes, he's periced!! And the most intense blue eyes!! He's taller than me, although most people are!! LOL Lets see he loves music, no I will not tell you if he is a PUNX, or if he's EMO or if he's into to rock, classic rock, oldies, metal, death metal, black metal, goth or trance, house, pop, country, or rap!! (I think I covered everything!! LOL) I will tell you he has the most incredible arms, oh so nice!! I used to love it when he held me or hugged me!! I would just melt!! I felt so safe there!! hmmmmm....what else, he's younger than me!! I tell you his birthdate but then you could easily guess!! I also could tell you his fave-o-rite band but then some of you might guess who it is!!
I know, I know I should just call him up and talk to him, and quit being such a baby but...I don't know...
and you know what how many out there actually care!! Hmmmm......
Thats right no one!!
Really I don't know what I want, Well I take that back cause I do now, well sorta...because I lost it, and you never know what you had or how good you had it till ya lost it, and theres no going back...Sometimes I wish there was, or at least I wish I had the nerve to just call him up and tell him how I feel, but I can't!! I just can't bring my self to do, I can't tell you how many times I have picked up the phone to dial his number and then stoped, or started to write him a letter, then just trashed cause I knew if he read it he would just laugh!!
I'm not the same as I was when I was young
and neither are you
There's been alot of changes in the both of us,
you said you see that too
I've wasted such a long time to find out I was,
Looking for the wrong things
If it's an apology you're waiting for, you could
wait along time
I've wasted such a long time too
Just to feel like a zero
Life really sucks when you...
Yeah I feel like a zero
I've wasted such a long time
Just to feel like a zero
You're not the only one who's held me in their arms
You said I broke your heart
It would have been the other way around when I was young
but sooner or later we all have to
GROW UP
I don't know if I should tell you how I'm feeling
chances are you'll laugh at me
and tell me I don't know what I"m saying
01-15-01
Well, this page is now useless because, I've come to realize that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all!! And that 'HE' was a jerk to being with...well thats not entirly true!! He's not that same person I once knew, he's changed, or maybe I changed!! All I know is that I've wanted 'HIM' for so long now I forgot about 'OUR' problems!! How his little quirks were cute...but they get old real fast, and then there just damn ANNOYING!! Maybe I'm just being emotional, but I don't think so!! Cause I haven't seen or heard from him in the longest time!! So it has nothing to do with something 'HE' did!! I've though it though and I'm DONE, its over!! NO more!!! I'm moving on!! And if for some reason your reading this (and no its not YOU!!) I'm sorry, and I just want you to know that I love you and always will!! But I'm not playing games or waiting any longer!! I'm not a toy!!