For those interested in assuming the mantle of the Archdiaconate, it is crucial that the steps below be followed EXACTLY, failure to comply with even a PART of ANY requirement will result in disqualification of the application, regardless of how outstanding the candidate would have otherwise been.
1) Click on the link below to access the membership application, print a hard copy, and fill it out completely.
2) Place a thumbprint in YOUR OWN blood immediately to the LEFT of your signature on the application.
3) Fold the completed application in EXACT THIRDS bottom to top and back to front.
4) Place the folded application in a standard business envelope which will be SEALED and UNMARKED, and be sure to use a completely white envelope.
5) In a separate business envelope of the same type, place exactly $666 US dollars in the following exact denominations: six hundreds, three twenties, and six ones, the money should be crisp and never have been folded, use only mint/near mint currency.
6) Seal this envelope and leave it unmarked also.
7) On a completely white 3x5 card, include the following: one tear, one drop of urine, one drop of blood, one drop of sweat, and one drop of either semen or vaginal fluid as appropriate to your gender; all five secretions MUST be your own.
8) Place this card in a third business envelope of the above type, seal and leave unmarked as before.
9) Place all three sealed business envelopes into the SMALLEST manilla envelope which will accomodate them unbent.
10) Send this manilla envelope, once sealed, to the following address: P.O. Box 666, Truth or Consequences, NM 87901 USA, with the following qualification: the first postmark must match the date on the application.
The three envelopes represent an offering each of mind, body, and will to Lord Satan, they will be used in ritual to test the worthiness of the offer, and any qualifying applicants will be contacted for an interview by Archdeacon Caligula. Unaccepted/rejected applicants will not be notified.
Membership Application
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