Mood:
chattyTopic: Get to know a *%$#@
Hi,
I guess you may wonder what the reason is on why I have decided to title my "journal" Damaged Goods??? or Fixable??? While this is merely and intro to my world sit back grab some pop-corn and enjoy the show. I am writing partly because I am like the rest of other living breathing people that think that bad stuff only happens to me. I am on the self pitty mode today just a tad. So enough, lemme get to the point.
I am a Cuban-American female, 19 years of age which will change in less than a month from this entry, who is struggling to make the right choices. Decisions about love, loss, and drama. I have never been the type to let things go, ( doesn't mean i hold a grudge or anything) my past is what has brought me to my current status. I can't blame everything on my mother. With the 19 years of experience I have you would think, this girl should go to college, or do something with her life. But noooo.... So I think it's time for me to grow, mentally, and spiritually.
I have been through happy, (travel, family get together's, things that make you happy) and of coarse there is sad. But those examples will come in retro-spect through later entries. I am flavor full, I am a Miami Resident, I have lived here for most of my life. Beaches aren't everything, and things aren't too fun in the sun on SOBE when you aren't 21. If you know what I mean.
My Family, is the traditional, family, family chisme, family laughter, and finally family hatred. It develops over some time in a family if people really don't give a ****!!!!Okay!Alright... maybe there wasn't that much togetherness. Maybe it's just me, my ova donor, and my Grandma, and my 2 sisters Karinuts*** (13) and Sanparunpundingindangi or Lili whatever you like (5) she is just soo cute when she's famous I am going to call her that too. If you can even make out what it says. If you sound it out in a Spanish type accent it is exactly what you said.
Like any family we have the one person that everyone loves to hate, except if he's your dad, that would be my step-dad, A.K.A. Mad Dog McCoy. He is always on the prowel to find something out. For years he tried to figure out how to stop my mom from "polluting" herself as he would dramaticlly put it. Who does this guy think he is a combo of an FBI agent,Macguyver,and Que Pasa Uma? If you are cuban you know what i mean, NO OFFENSE IF YOUR NOT!!!! On the other hand my Mother another combination, I would say of an Attorney, a nun, and a esoteric party animal. Funny, Smart, and a stunningly beautiful woman, charming and classy. You can take her anywhere really lololol. But my mother has also shown me that life can work even in an off-color setting. "when lemon rains from the sky, what do you do?" me as a child "we make lemonade momi." Survival, in a world where it is cut-throat, of coarse as a child i didn't see this. But as in adult I see how cold it gets out there. Once I was on my own, things changed, I saw that even my mother's "devoted love" could not make me happy or keep me safe. Freedom from her opened a whole ne can of worms, addictions, depressions and guess what else????? REALITY HIT ME. GROW UP. Naturally the first time around never makes much of an impact. So here I am trying to finally once and for all settle down and get focused. Relationship focused, school focused, and monogomy. These are the goals for 2006. I have a steady boyfriend JJ that is my impossible ghetto lover, who also can play both sides as i have been doing. You always fall into one more than the other, i think that we are both in the other category, trying to get back emotionally and life wise to the greener grass. So this is an Intro, feel free to read today's entry.
Coming to a screen near you, hopefully my story get's real interesting and someone will want to write about it....wink wink, hollywood producers. THE CAMERA LOVES ME BABY.