F.A.Q. (Frequently Asked Questions)
1.)What is erotic massage and how is it different from non-erotic massage?
2.)What takes place during the session?
3.)Is the session therapeutic as well as erotic?
4.)What techniques do I use?
5.)Does the massage always end with an orgasm?
6.)Am I open to interaction and mutual touching?
7.)What takes place during the 4 hand massage?
8.)Scheduling and Preparing for the Session:
9.)Why is my price so cheap?
10.)What about tipping?
1.)What is erotic massage and how is it different from non-erotic massage?
For many people,(including unfortunately some in the massage
business), erotic massage is nothing but a codeword for old fashioned
prostitution, conjuring images of a sloppy rubdown ending in a
rushed release, in a tacky room with black velvet paintings.
Things are changing, though. Now there are a range of professionally
trained body workers, and organizations like Body Electric, who agree
on one thing: there badly needs to be a change in attitude about the
sharing of erotic touch. It's not just that we're still too
embarrassed and ashamed of our bodies, whatever our shape, size, color
or age, but that we don't know how to break down the barriers
separating us from each other and from a truly satisfying sensual
connection. Not only do we worry about rejection; we're not sure what
to DO with each other erotically. Even when we rely on a short list of
sexual positions and practices,
we often come away from the experience less that satisfied. With all
of this sexual baggage our culture burdens us with, its no wonder
many of my clients who have never experienced sensual massage before
are understandably nervous, even terrified, at the start of the
session. Don't feel there's something wrong with you for feeling this
way!
Let me tell you how I'm trying to help change the way we think about
erotic bodywork. First of all, for me, ALL forms of massage are
inherently erotic. A massage doesn't suddenly become sexual if the
masseur decides to reach over and grab some of your private parts.
It's erotically charged from the moment you take your clothes off and
lay down, and he begins touching your skin, and you feel the
wonderfully various sensations of pleasure that come from his use of
oils, light and deep pressure, thumbs, fingers, forearms, elbows,
legs. The masseur who recognizes this fact about what they do will
give a more pleasurable massage, whether or not there is ever any
touching of specifically 'sexual' parts of the body (and there doesn't have to be if you prefer not). I think the best
way to think about the sensuality of massage is not all or nothing,
(i.e. either it's erotic or its 'strictly non-sexual'), but along a
spectrum of erotic intensity or energy.
Some of my clients choose a nude, sensual massage without orgasm, while for others I gradually ratchet up the erotic intensity over the course of
my bodywork session till it ends in orgasm. (Obviously this kind of
erotic bodywork falls on the more intense side of the spectrum). Either way,
the single most important thing I have learned about erotic touch
through my years of doing bodywork is that what matters is not WHAT is
done(massage, oral, hand job, etc) but HOW it
is done. A session devoted to nothing but the caressing of the feet
can be more erotically satisfying than anal sex, if it is done in just
the right way.
2.)What takes place during the session?
My goal is to create an environment where we both lose ourselves in
the world of the erotic. Candelight, a softly playing background range
of jazz, classical and modern music, and warm temperature setting set
the stage. I normally don't talk during the massage, since I think it
disrupts the mood I want to create. (If you happen to enjoy
conversation while being massaged I'm more than happy to oblige).
I have you begin on your stomach fully nude, as I am(If you prefer to
wear briefs that's fine,too). I like being nude because it enables me
to use all parts of my body at different points in the massage, not
just hands but also forearms, thighs, cheeks, legs.I want you to be
able to lose yourself in the touch. Each area I cover should be its
own world of sensation, and each should flow into the next like when
listening to a piece of music, as an organic flow rather than a
mechanical process.
3.)Is the session therapeutic as well as erotic?
Many clients come to me with complaints of major muscle soreness. I have clients who are marathon runners, dancers and trainers. As far as I'm concerned, erotic bodywork isn't complete unless it includes the relief of pain and stress in such problem areas as the neck, shoulders, upper and lower back, and legs ( talk about an 'orgasmic' feeling!). I spend a good portion of the session focusing on these areas, using as firm and strong a pressure as you are comfortable with.
4.)What techniques do I use?
I combine a variety of techniques, including Shiatsu, Swedish and
Accupressure, and am able to vary pressure from penetratingly deep(but not painful!)to very
light touch, depending on your needs or requests. I don't like excessive use of oils, since
they reduce the skin's sensitivity to touch. I prefer to use a non-greasy
lotion which moisturizes without leaving the skin feeling saturated in gook(I have both
hypo-allergenic and lightly scented). You 're welcome to shower after the session, although I
think you'll discover that you won't need to.
5.)Does the massage always end with an orgasm?
While most clients consider orgasm to be a natural form of completion
of the erotic massage, I don't believe that climax is necessary in
order to enjoy a complete sensual experience. I see many individuals
who, due to health issues such as prostate surgery, high blood
pressure or anti-depressant medication, are unable to achieve erection
or climax. I have also had clients who simply wanted to de-emphasize
the attention to climax in order to focus on more subtle and holistic
aspects of the erotic experience(The Body Electric group uses
breathing exercises as a route to a kind of orgasm without genital
manipulation). The point is that orgasm itself does not have to be
considered the end-all and be-all of erotic enjoyment. Everyone has
probably had the experience of an intensely exciting sexual encounter
that did not end in ejaculation, as well as disappointing encounters
where the climax was utterly unmemorable because the rest of the
experience lacked connection and imagination. Clearly, a climax is not
just a climax; every orgasm is different, just as every sexual
encounter is different. I approach each session with the aim of
exploring and expressing a unique sensual mood, tapping into my
current state of mind and feeling in order to create a 'music' of
eroticism linking my body to your body. I am constantly listening to
your body's responses to my touch, adjusting my pacing, rhythm and
strokes until I approach that zone of synchrony and unity with you.
6.)Am I open to interaction and mutual touching?
My concern, and great joy, as erotic bodyworker is not what you can do
for me, how good looking you are or how you might entertain me
erotically, but what kind of experience I can create for you. I know
that many clients do not want to be just passive recipients. Giving as
well as receiving pleasure is an important part of the erotic
experience for many. I always enjoy mutual touch, and you should free
to ask about any reciprocal activity you might like to try. I'm always
open to exploring new things. In my practice, at the suggestions of my
clients I've occasionally delved into everything from bondage and spanking, to
dressing up in various items of clothing and foot worship.
Having said
that, the most enjoyable type of session for me is one where the
client allows me to perform for them what I am best trained to do and
what satisfies me the most:I want to play your body in the ways that I
have learned how over the course of my career, to take you to an
erotic peak you won't forget. So what I try to avoid is interaction
that is too unstructured,that runs the risk of degenerating into the
kind of blind free-for all that can drain all the nuance, creativity
and sensuality from the session. It's kind of like a singer sharing a
song with an audience that wants to sing along. An incredible jam
session can sometimes result from the interaction, but if there's no
coordination, the result is just noise! All I ask is that you give me
a chance to show you and teach you what I've learned to do, the music
I can play for you. Let me know your wishes, and I'll tell what what
I'm comfortable with and try to integrate it into my own approach.
7.)What takes place during the 4 hand massage?
I do the 4 hand with my friend Sky , who lives 2 blocks from me. We've
been offering this massage for about 5 years now, and it has proved to
be quite popular(See some of our client reviews! ). Our basic approach to the
4 hand is similar to the 2 hand massage, except that rather one set of
hands caressing your body, there are 2 sets(and two naked guys). But
there's a lot more to it than that. We believe that a great 4 hand is
kind of like stereo, or better yet, a duet;not just two separate
channels of stimulation competeting for your attention, but a seamless
melding of the two. Just like a duet, the pleasure comes from the
integrating of two distinct voices. Sky and I have our own styles of
touch, but in the 4 hand these complement each other. After the first
few minutes, you may no longer be able to tell, or care, who's
touching where, and instead experience a single, unified, blissful
effect of pleasure. While we have a specific structure to the 4 hand,
everything I've said above concerning mutual interaction and other
client requests goes for the 4 hand as well.
8.)Scheduling and Preparing for the Session:
Although the best way to guarantee that I am available is to book a session with me a day or two before our appointment time(You can book a month or more in advance, too), I try to be available on a moment's notice(or at least a half hour or so).
I highly recommend showering before the session, not just from a
hygiene standpoint but because it increases the sensitivity of your
skin's nerve endings. You are certainly welcome to shower at my place.
Also, try not to have big meal or too much liquid just before massage. It may make you
feel bloated, and make it more difficult for you to relax. I also suggest avoiding alcohol, poppers, Viagra and
other forms of artificial aids before the session, since I think they
block off sensitivity to, rather than enhance, what we're trying to
accomplish.
9.)Why is my price so cheap?
I have always strongly believed that serious erotic bodywork should be
affordable. The experience of touch is too important to our emotional
and spiritual well-being to be restricted to the wealthier among us. I
don't need to charge more than I do to live comfortably. I think the
reason the price of most erotically oriented bodywork seems so high
has less to do with the quality of the service you're paying for than
because you're being charged a kind of 'sin tax'. The more hung-
up a culture is about sex, the higher the prices. As the shame factor
begins to fade, not just among clients but among bodyworkers, too, the
prices will start dropping. Also, the quality of erotic bodywork
should actually improve as the hustler mentality that is still too
prevalent in our business is replaced by confident, skilled
bodyworkers who 1)love what they do 2)see what they do as an
expressive art requiring thought and skill just like any other art 3)
continue to refine their art and actively contribute to groups and
institutions which teach and promote serious approaches to erotic and
sensual bodywork 4)place these creative goals above simply making
money.
10.)What about Tipping?
I don't expect an automatic tip. Massage is expensive enough ,so I
understand. If you feel generous and especially liked it, then a
gratuity is much appreciated!