The Stupids and The Meanies are Breeding! Have been for decades apparently. Case in point: I was in the store the other day, making purchases for work and minding my own sweet ass, when this old fucker in front of me turns around to address me. Says something to the effect of "shame the way you ruined a perfectly good face like that". At first I was really damn confused because I did'nt remember dousing my face with hydrochloric acid that morning, but as this dipshit continued, I realised he was talking about my nose ring. "Back in my day, we used to put a ring like that in the bulls nose so we could pull 'em around by it.Just seems like it is'nt necessary anymore." The clerk behind the counter looks as though shes about to bust her spleen trying not to laugh, and Im standing there thinking 'this guy is actually saying this shit to me'. Further more he does not know me from Adams friggin house cat. I just might be the kind of uppity young trollip who needs to be led around by her nose when the Man in my life senses I have given him a bit too much lip. This guy just does not know me like that, nor do I owe him any explination as to why my ill affected generation feels that it is now necessary to carry the burden of our bovinesque forefathers by ruining our perfectly beautiful faces. Its just something in the kool-aid grandpa.... dont know why we do it. For fucks sake. Anywho, I was so taken aback by his sheer tackyness that all I could say was "you really should'nt say shit like that." while giving him a very confused version of the Glare 'O Death. Gah. Im standing there with a huge pack of razor blades with my six foot tall self and one of two scenarios should have stopped him. 1) Im fucking huge, and now Im armed with a shit-ton of sharp objects. I obviously have no tact or morals because Im just some pierced punk bitch, and I WILL KILL YOU and write about it to all my friends on my newfangled computer box thing. OR 2) Im a tall girl with no self esteem and a fresh new box of razors. You are the thing that has sealed my fate. I was just going to go home and cut myself but now Im going to take a bottle of mommys pills and slit my wrists in the bathtub. Yeah, I could have been those girls. He should be more careful. Or have some goddamn shame. And I should have smacked him in his wrinkly old face hole the minute I sensed the disrespect. He would have some shame then, boy howdie. He would have been stepped to by a miscrient like me and a fucking girl! Im likely to hate myself forever for not kicking his sardonic republican old ass. It is like this one time when this asshat behind me in morning rush-hour took great offense at my stopping for a stop sign. The nerve, I know, but it seemed like the thing to do at the time. Anyway, Im stopped (barely) waiting for a twee smidge of a gap so I can pull out without that whole metal-twisting death thing happening, and motherfucker just lays on his horn. Keeps on just a honkin' his ass off, while the giant big rigs speed by the nose of my car at roughly the speed of light. Finally, I get it into my sleep deprived little head that it would be the funniest thing in the whole wide world if I just threw my shit into reverse and gunned it into the windshield of his car. HA. Fucking priceless. Can you imagine his suprise? "There I was just honking, acting a goddamn fool, when, out of nowhere, this girl just drives right into my car." The cops never could have proved that it was I that had run into HIM.... It could have been so perfect. Had I been in my Volvo I would have done it for sure. Its not a good excuse, I know, And I hate myself big time for not fucking the hell out of his life. Oh well, so yeah, regrets......
Light a smoke....
go back to where you came from