I'm The Unknown From Everyone
Sunday April 11th/04 1:30 A.M.
I'm the reason people kill.
I'm the reason people hurt.
I'm everything that people hate to become.
I'm the fire that burns and destroys everything with unfeeling malice,
I'm the knife that penetrates your flesh cutting
deep into you with my serrated edge ripping apart your organs and swiftly robbing life away from your
heart and mind with absolutely no feeling.
That shiver down your spine is me trying to poison your body.
The feeling you get in the pit of your
stomach is me trying to destroy you from the inside out.
I was the monster you were afraid of when you were little, the monster your
afraid even now when you try to sleep.
I'm the reason people hurt people and the reason
children die young and everything goes wrong in your life.
I'm pain, I'm hurt and anger and
confusion and the dust that smothers your air
and fills your eyes with blinding tears.
People fall and die because of me, people kill themselves because of me, people hurt
other people because I have touched them in some way or another.
I am the one who scare people and cause them to lose
control of their minds and body and soul
I'm the shadow ever watching as people live and breathe and I slowly die and suffocate.
I'm the dirt the dead lay in and the rocks that
sink
ships
full
of
hopes
and
dreams
and
love
and
passion and
whatever else people
might have to ruin.
I drop the bombs,
I burn the air,
destroy the land,
cause the loss of countless
I'm the rope that leaves the dead there to hang
I'm those lost souls that
never could find
find their
way back home to anywhere cause they never had a home in the first place ...
Home?.?.?.?. what is a home?
it is a place to feel safe where you can
sleep in peace and more importantly
it is a place where you are always welcome ...
must be nice … to have a home I mean
to have a place where you can
always go to
wish I had
one those, yeah with friends and
family to play with and spend time with
and to talk to and laugh with
and share secrets and stories and love
and passion, passion for the things you love
and love the passionate and romantic.
I don't have any of that ... I never have
and
I
never
will
my wrists are open to
those who, wish to take
my life and destroy all
this evil in the
world. I would do it myself
but I am a coward.
Not able to talk or act on
my own,
ironic isn't? how I can
create all this
evil in this world and yet
not act on my own because
I am a coward
not strong enough to do anything on
my own.
I was once loved but I walked away from it all and
now I don't even deserve to live ...
Blood runs down my arms I thank you
for releasing me from this desperate, defiled
labyrinth, this cursed sanctuary
this so-called safe haven I created so
I wouldn't have to endure the brutal reality of everything and everyone.
I have lived in exile for as long as I can
remember.
Blood collects on the floor and stains all
that it touches leaving an ever lasting
impression
of everything I have done wrong, it's a bright
crimson and scarlet and for once
something I have done is right,
I bleed ... drop by drop collects around me and
leaves a larger and larger pool.
I fall to my knees struggling for breathe
for life, the very thing I have unthinkingly
taken from everyone I have ever
touched with my corroded hands.
My hands leave imprints in my own blood leaving
an everlasting reminder to the world,
my breath starts to become faster and shorter
with every second that falls away.
I'm sorry to all those who I have hurt, to all
those I have scared and killed and destroyed
and lied to and ran away from
and to those who I let down when they had
put
forth
so
much
trust
and
believed
in
me
when
no one
else did.
now as my last breathe
enters my lungs
I ask one thing of you, you courageous
soul that helped me escape these chains
of torture and torment,
there is someone who means the worlds to me she is
more precious than any gem or treasure
more beautiful than the skies themselves,
more meaningful than any
moon or sun or star or planet to ever or ever
will exist.
I ask of you one thing and one thing only
if you only do this one thing for me I would
be indebted to you forever.
Please take care of her and watch over her
always, and forever.
I can nor could I ever do it, it was all-false,
she was the one good thing in my life and now
I have lost her forever.
I was afraid of everything while she
afraid of only not experiencing the world
and everything to its full potential.
she saw the potential in me and I was afraid of
what she saw, so I ran from everything, like I
have always done.
You have everything to watch over her, a ...
home ... friends ... knowledge ... courage ....
the strength to over come any obstacle .....
the .... soul to ..... pull ... through it all ....
and you have that caring .... loving ..........
passionate .... look that I could never acquire even if
I searched for a millenniums over again ...........
Thank you from the bottom of my heart you will
not be forgotten and she is better off with you
than an already dead child.
with a final gasp for air and life I fall to the
earth, the one I destroyed countless times and now I lie on the earth where the dead sleep
and I take all the evil I have brought forth from the dark back the darkness of crimson
and scarlet and burnt ash.
this world and people will never have to feel the unnerving touch of my
corroded and toxic hands ever again
and it is here I lay not destroying the earth now
no ... rather protecting it from the evil I had unleashed but there is a price to everything
I am still tortured by all those who I have killed, all those lives I laid waste to and left in
tattered ruins. All the walls that have crumbled and cracked, all the winds I have
poisoned, all the emotions I subjected to venoms and catalysts. I now lay in the earth where the
dead rest. Forever and always content from the world where I know she will be protected, by
everyone and everything. She is the world ...
my world but all worlds are lost eventually and found again by someone
may those two new worlds never lose sight of the other ever.
3:10 A.M.
- Angelus Errare -
