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Things You Wish You'd Said

When I read, I often come across funny or meaningful quotes that I'd like to share with others. Unfortunately, all of the meaningful ones got eaten by rabid, radioactive chipmunks, and only the funny ones survived. Oh, well. Have fun! ;)

"....If you keep that up for even one more second, I'm going to be forced to kill you. Haha, just kidding, that was just some humour to make light of the situation. In all truth, I would probably simply gut you and leave you to die of your injuries. Technically, I wouldn't have killed you. If you really wanted to live, you could have made the bleeding stop or something. I mean, if you can't control involuntary bodily functions, that's not really my fault, now is it?"
~ cadet_wolf (internet buddy)

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
-- Tom Clancy

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
-- Will Rogers

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order.
-- Brian Pickrell

"Man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much... the wheel, New York, wars, and so on, whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely the dolphins believed themselves to be more intelligent than man for precisely the same reasons."
~ Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for the Fish

"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There is another which states that this has already happened."
~Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Always remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else.