Please try the following:
- Click the
 Refresh
button, or fill your CD-ROM drawer tray with jam. This really works.
- If you have typed the page address in the Address
bar yourself, please go away and come back when you've learned to spell correctly.
- To check your connection status, unplug your PC
and insert a screwdriver into the mains socket. Connection
status will immediately become apparent.
- If you like, Microsoft Windows can examine your PC and send
details of all the pornography you have downloaded to its headquarters
in Redmond.
If you would like Windows to ruin your life,
click
 Yes! Send me to jail!
- Some sites you visit require Microsoft's
authorization. Click the Windows menu and then click Let me
view boobies! to uninstall this feature.
- If you are trying to reach a secure site, make
sure you are not running Windows. Click the My Computer menu, and
then right click Drive C: . On the Menu select This sucks:
Please replace current operating system with Unix. And don't ask me
again.
- Click the
Back to try and end this nightmare.
Cannot find
server or DNS Error
Or maybe you've killed the Internet.
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