Tell me: who is cooler, in Batsy's whole Rogue's Gallery, than Penguin? Who's cooler??? That's right: nobody is cooler than Penguin.

Why not? Well, look at him. He's the epitome of... of something. Some indefineable conglomeration of things. A certain je-ne-sais-quoi.

But perhaps that's an overused excuse.

Penguin is very charismatic, very magnetic, very charming. He's cultured and educated and socially elegant. He's cool and calculating and shrewd. He's ruthless and professional.

He's...

Well, he's The Penguin.

All the ladies love the Penguin. And they have good reason. Aside from all I've previously mentioned, he is, to quote the vernacular, "rolling in dough". Shady dealings, and what. Not that he really needs to lord over the black market, what with the Iceberg Lounge. Didn't anyone tell you, honey? It's the place to be.

You can't help at least admiring his Undeniable Coolness. He's a crook, when it comes right down to it: but not a common one. He's exceptional. He is undoubtedly the best at what he does.

Applaud.

Now.

Okay, now that the rant is over, how about the basics, eh?

Penguin's real name, as you might already know, is Oswald Cobblepot. Exceedingly short, and ... er... penguin-like, with jet-black hair, sometimes depicted with distinguished-looking gray streaks, and icy blue eyes. Faster and more agile than he looks, much like (ta-da!) a penguin. Always "prepared", with the same knack as Batman for having the right stuff/being in the right place at the right time. Hard to take by suprise (or else Batman would 'get' him much more often, wouldn't he?).

You will perhaps have noticed that he's always got some fascinating little gadget in his umbrella. I want an umbrella just like his. It's plain awesome.

Umbrellas are a penchant of his. Supposedly, his mother insisted he carry one everywhere as a child, because she blamed his father's death from pneumonia on catching cold in the rain.

Hmmm.

Ah yes, and he was ostracized by his peers for being short, overweight, probably nerdy, his affinity with/resemblance to birds in general, and of course his ever-present umbrella.