The Stupid Shit My Friends Say

My friends are very very stupid people, and here is proof:

Phillip Demetrotis:
"If I am not death, then other equal more am dead!"
"If the only other option is a feather boa, I'm pretty sure the foot soldier would go for the long bow."
"Did you just hear a blood-curtling scream of absolute horror? That can only mean good things."

Gaians:
"I have a knife and an unloaded pistol... I'm outclassed by you simply because yours IS loaded..."
"

The Bubble:
"I'll flip the switch, then ignite the flame with my manly shoe!"

Jarrod Couch:
"You cannot suck on my candy cane."