*~*~*~ I ~*~*~*

*~*~*~ The last hope of a dying nation and it has all come down to the result of Jayson Price versus Ana Archia.  These two will decide the fate of a dying nation.  Should Ana Archia win then peace and prosperity shall rule the land, but let not arrogance corrupt for if Jayson wins then babies will be murdered in the street and his parents will not ever be made to face the punishment that is his birth!

Ana Archia: I cannot let this happen!

*~*~*~ Screams the OCW Women's Champion (or at least she believes she is the champion of all women) as she stands in the local Best Buy staring at the television sets playing (advertising) the line up for Total Demolition where the Family take on Brianna and her merry band of misfits.

Ana Archia: My family was killed by ninjas and now Brianna is trying to kill a family!  I cannot let this happen... not in the name of all that is doused in raviolis goodness!

*~*~*~ Ana spins around wildly, employees doubling up their rounds wherever she drags herself.  She makes her way to the blue ray disc and starts tossing them up in the air until she finally picks up a placeholder where Total Demolition will go in a month or two.  Ana storms up to the checkout.

Ana Archia: THIS!  I NEED YOU THIS!  How do i get it?

*~*~*~ The now sweating cashier shifts his eyes and picks up the place holder.

Cashier: Um, Miss... this isn't even suppose to be out yet.  The pay per view hasn't even happened.

Ana Archia: Lies and slander!  You are in on the conspiracy and your lies will not be tolerated!  Now out with the truth or I will steal your raviolis!

Cashier: We don't have raviolis... this is Best Buy.  We carry electronics, games, and movies.

Ana Archia: A bribe I see... hm...

*~*~*~ She clutches her left elbo in her right hand then taps the index finger of her left hand against her chin.

Ana Archia: The ninjas are a clever folk.  First they try to distract me by putting me against this Jayson Price and now they send this service dude to bribe me. (she shrugs) Oh well... I ACCEPT!

*~*~*~ She flees into the store and returns with a cart full of movies.

Ana Archia: I'll take all of this and I would like to apply for a credit card.

*~*~*~ The cashier sighs and types in on his register.

Cashier: Name?

Ana Archia: J.... A... Jayson Price.  I work for OCW... I think.

Cashier: You don't look like a Jayson.

Ana Archia: I didn't have parents to name me!  They were killed by ninjas you insensitive jerk!

Cashier: Oh... okay... I'm sorry...... (still not buying it) Jayson.

*~*~*~ They continue filling out the information and somehow Ana has managed to round up everything she would need about Jayson to get a credit card, but she fudges a bit on his yearly income.  Ana shoots like a bullet out the door and over to a scooter where she pulls a bungee cable from under the seat and ties the cart of movies to the back of said scooter.  She jumps on the seat and starts up her scooter.

Ana Archia: AND AWAY I AM GOING!

*~*~*~ II ~*~*~*

*~*~*~ After dropping off the movies and stuff (possibly a Playstation 4 as well) Ana takes her scooter (and the cart) to the nearest grocery and rides through the automatic door and straight for the canned foods for... well it's anyone's guess really, but it should be obvious.  Once again she loads up the cart and signs up for a credit card in Jayson Price's name.  As Ana drives out of the grocery she nearly runs over Leo the High School Intern.

Ana Archia: Out of the way dirt bag!

*~*~*~ She yells while holding up her right hand balled into a fist (and shaking it), but she backs up and Leo begins to run because Ana actually turned her scooter around and ripped her hand back hard on the handle that is also the gas.  She does not hit Leo though (sorry if that is not the outcome you wanted).  She walks over to Leo and pushes his shoulder to get his attention.  He jumps a few feet in the air spins around.  Ana leans back to avoid getting hit by any of this kid's flailing.

Leo: I HAVE A RAPE WHISTLE!

Ana Archia: Okay?  Good for you!  This is a dangerous world, kid.  That whistle might just come in handy!

*~*~*~ Leo calms down and finally realizes this is the new girl Ana Archia from OCW.

Leo: Aren't you Ana?

Ana Archia: Who wants to know?  You work for that buy movies best place or here?

Leo: (sighing) No, I work for OCW.

Ana Archia: OH!  That's why I came at you just now!  I wanted to talk to you about stuff.  You know I have a match this week right?

Leo: Yes, I do... honestly I am surprised to hear YOU know.

Ana Archia: I know a lot of things like how to pretend a clothes hanger is a bow and arrow or how to heat up a can of raviolis on the stove in its own can.

Leo: Well you clearly didn't know how to defeat Mia Stone in y our debut, but you still have some hype even after taking the loss.

Ana Archia: Of course I do!  I am the OCW Women's Champion and the fans realize that I am only human... DUH!  I am bound to lose to even the likes of Mia Stone, but this week... oh yes... this week shall be different because of MY PLAN.  it is a good plan too.  A -VERY GOOD- plan!

*~*~*~ She laughs maniacally as her words just confuse poor little Leo.

Leo: Care to enlighten me as to what this 'very good plan' IS?

*~*~*~ Ana turns her head away and narrows her eyes as they roll back towards Leo.

Ana Archia: WHY do you want to know that, good sir?  Are you working for BRIANNA?!  Are you trying to infiltrate Chef Boyardee?!  YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

*~*~*~ Leo lets out a sigh and just walks away muttering something about not being paid enough.  Ana throws a can of raviolis at Leo nailing him in the back of the head and knocking him out.

Ana Archia: You take that!  YOU TAKE THAT TO BRIANNA AND TELL HER TO LEAVE MY MOMMY ALONE!

*~*~*~ Ana shoots like a bullet again and retrieves the can she threw.

Ana Archia: Actually Jayson bought these for me... you can't has!

*~*~*~ Ana ties the cart to her scooter again and speeds off to make a fort out of her movies and raviolis.

*~*~*~ III ~*~*~*

Ana Archia: There I am, standing on my balcony thingy with my arms on the railing that's there so I don't fall down and break my crown, but I am not just standing... oh no.  I am THINKING.  Thinking of my VERY good plan Leo tried to get out of me with 'enhanced interrogation techniques'.  I wouldn't crack though, but here I stand.

*~*~*~ THUNK!  She drops an empty can of raviolis on some random windshield leaving a nice crack in it after attempting to verbalize what one can only surmise as her own introduction.  She turns away from the balcony and holds up another empty can of raviolis revealing it has Brianna's contact information and photo on it.

Ana Archia: I don't cope with incentives quacks very well especially when they try dragging my mommy back into rough times like facing a band of whack-a-doodles, BUT...

*~*~*~ She throws another can of raviolis and cracks another car's windshield.

Ana Archia: I'm not stupid... I know I have a match that has nothing to do with that sneaky ninja thief... what's his name... uh... don't tell me... I got this one... (she shrugs) It'll come to me in a moment maybe, but I at least remember I have a match... wait... do I?

*~*~*~ She jumps up throwing a fist in the air in a burst of excitement.

Ana Archia: I KNOW WHO WILL KNOW!  I will call my sister Harle!

*~*~*~ Ana takes off her shoe and holds it up to her ear.

Ana Archia: Hello, chief?  It's Agent 99 requesting backup!  Oh and patch me through to my sister, Harle.  I wanna tell her I won't be home for dinner.

*~*~*~ Ana takes a look around then slowly slips her high heeled shoe BACK on her foot... then the correct foot (she gets confused, are you really surprised?).  Ana pulls out a cell phone that... yeah... you guessed it... she signed up for in Jayson's name because that's how she rolls.

Ana Archia: HI SISSY!  It's me again... Batman.  I was just wondering why you never return any of my phone calls and you know if you knew who I had a match against this week.  You know me, I forgot the dude's name again and you seem good with names and stuff.  You remember that Asian guy and my mommy... oh and incredible creeper guy... all of them that fit that description.  So give me a call lady of the paint and green little piggy tail hair because I lost to Mia and I really wanna make a good impression in the ring.  I know I am tiny, but tiny and FEROCIOUS like a turtle!  So give me a call back and we can make plans to eat cupcakes or throw said cupcakes at people. (sniffing) I really wish you would stop ignoring me.  We are sisters and you know my family was killed by ninjas so you not answering kinda makes me think they got to you too.  I will have to come hunt you down if you don't answer or go to mommy and find out where you're hiding.  Speaking of, why did mommy look so stressed to see me the other day?  I was always the wild of the two of us.  The  crazy one or something... what was that nickname they gave me in grade school?  I got good grades though, just kinda awkward.  So I guess I will try calling you later and oh  yeah... HEY!  HEY!  HARLE!  SISSY!  Don't change your phone number again that wasn't funny!  If one person isn't laughing it's not a good joke!

*~*~*~ BEEP!

Ana Archia: SISSY?!  ARE YOU THERE?!

*~*~*~ She sniffs again as she gets a message about exceeding the message length.

Ana Archia: Oh fudge... why does that always happen?

*~*~*~ She dials up Harle again.

Ana Archia: Sorry about that, sissy.  We need to talk to mommy about a better phone plan.  Maybe daddy can actually DO something other than be gross on TV and get us awesome phones and plans to go with those plans, but where was I?  AH!  That's right you NOT being funny.  I guess only one of us can be funny.  You were always better at dress up or at least you were.  I have a lot of credit cards and I can buy a mean costume, but I guess that's not making it.  You make your gears right?  How about you make your sissy some bad booty lickin wrestling gear?  I has that match coming up you know.  I would like to look HAW-TEE in some of my sissy's designs.  So you know... call me back and let me know these things.  You know I am lost without you and stuff because I miss you and I wanna know you're safe and sound.  Don't keep me waiting... my parents did and it was cause they were killed by ninjas... and I think samurais come to think of it.

*~*~*~ She throws the phone that isn't in her name and cracks another windshield.  She flees the scene screaming.

Ana Archia: IT WAS NOT ME!  I DID NOT DO IT! (not screaming now) Ana runs as fast as she can hoping not to get caught by the heat and thankfully manages to make a totally awesome dive into her room that is not really her room and yeah she soon realizes because she's not dumb after all.  Poor family eating pizza after a day of doing whatever they find fun when they're on vacation.  Ana tip toes out, oblivious to the family staring at her in horrified horror of terror, but in her mind she has escaped unseen!

*~*~*~ Ana had to find a new hotel.

*~*~*~ IV ~*~*~*

*~*~*~ Ana is seen in her hotel room peaking out of the hole in the door where two large men are stationed LOOKING BACK AT THE DOOR.

Ana Archia: Well fudge... .I'm on lockdown.

*~*~*~ She searches for something, tearing up her suite in the process.  She plops on the bed and throws up her hands then lets out a sigh.

Ana Archia: And they took my phone... or did I throw it? (shrugging) Who knows?!  I sure don't... at least right now.

*~*~*~ Ana devilishly looks over at the table between the beds.  She back somersaults across the bed and snatches the phone.  She screams into the phone at first then actually reads how to dial out.  She calls Dean and once again gets his voice mail.

Ana Archia: Geez you guys in OCW must be super busy because nobody ever is around to pick up the phone when I call!  Anywho-what-where my boss-a-chum, I just wanted to touch base with you and let you know I am in this city... I am pretty sure it's the right city too.  Toledo right?  No, that doesn't sound right at all.... Pocahontas?  Hrm... that doesn't sound right either.  You might wanna send someone to pick me up.  Harle should be available and eager for THAT task.  I can't be THAT far away, right?  You guys are in Boston after all or was it Charleston?  There are too many cities to remember!  Remind me to write my congressmen about that if I can remember how to get home again and where I put the stationary if I even have... EMAIL!  THAT'S RIGHT!  Don't worry buddy-o-boss... I will find my way to the arena, but if you could leave some kinda message reminding me who I am facing that would be awesome.  It's your job after--- OH I AM IN THE RIGHT CITY!  I saw that intern guy.  Nice fellow if you're into that sort of thing.  He was definitely no ninja.  You think he would drop by and tell me who I am facing?  He probably already did, but I obviously forgot.  I know- I know... some great women's champion I am, but-

*~*~*~ BEEP!  She exceeds the time allotted for the message again.

Ana Archia:  Well poo covered fiddling sticks or wahtever people say!

~*~*~ She dials Dean up again and without fail gets his voicemail; which now greets her as NOT President Dean.

Ana Archia: Hey... I just called this numvber... didn't I?  I am pretty sure this was Dean's number!  Oh well you know him right?  OR MAYBE!  MAYBE YOU CAN TELL ME WHO I AM FACING!  Get back with me NOT President Dean!  We can have a pow wow and you can keep me up to speed on everything I need kept up to speed on.  Wait, do you have any speed?  I could use some speed.  Maybe I'm already on it?  Whoa... trippy dude!  Anyway if you run into Presideant Dean, NOT President Dean please have him call me and help walk me around and keep me on the ball.  I really wanna win... I lost to that one chic.  What's her name?  It wasn't my mommy or my sister... or my creepy daddio. (shrugging) Oh well THAT will come to me as well.  So NOT President...

*~*~*~ BEEP!  Though she did not exceed the time for once, but the message does relay the number dialed is no longer in service.  Ana pokes out her bottom lip and sniffles a little, but fights off any tears that would wanna flood down her cheeks.

Ana Archia: Nobody wants to be my friend... this makes me sad.

*~*~*~ Ana slumps down from the bed and curls her knees up wrapping her arms around them and burring her face out of sight... THEN proceeds to cry.

Ana Archia: I'll show them... I don't NEED any of those fuddy duddies.

*~*~*~ Ana pulls down a pillow and her covers to hide herself in a fortress of sadness then goes back to the huddled up knee hugging position.

~*~*~*~ END ~*~*~*~