Junior had been gone a week now. He was in New Hampshire for the race this weekend. The crew, my family, some of Junior's family and the staff at DEI had yet found out about us being married. We both decided that we wanted to be together when we told everybody which was going to be hard especially now with the schedule he was pulling. I missed everything about him our phone calls were long and mostly full of I miss you's and I love you's. My flip-flops clicked as I walked down the long hallway. I was back in Atlanta flying in this morning and heading back home tonight. My hand twisted open the cool door knob. As the door opened memories all flew back.
"ELLA." Keith yelled looking up from the table where he was lacing up his cleats.
"El is back." Micheal walked up wrapping his arm around my shoulder pulling me close into him.
"Hey guys." I couldn't erase the smile off my face seeing them. I had missed there friendship but I had my North Carolina Mike and Keith in Martin and Josh.
"You ready for the game." Micheal asked as he stretched out his ever troubling hamstring.
"Yeah just don't get beat to bad." I plopped down on the couch adjusting my sweater hoodie. It was always freezing in the Dome. It was a staple there.
"Wow thanks for that support there Ella you leave us then come back and you talk like that." Keith wrapped his arm around my neck pulling me back against the couch.
"You better back off me don't make me get my boys on ya now from NC." I laughed moving away from Keith as he dropped his arm.
"OH her boys. I bet Earnhardt is one of your late night boys." Mike said wiggling his eyebrows.
"Shut Mr. Oh my hamstring." I chunked the pillow behind me at his head. He caught it and sent it right back at me.
"Alright ladies time for you to get ready for the game." I stood up taking the credentials I had for the sidelines and sliding them around me neck.
"I really did miss you guys. Alot has changed more than you know." I hugged Micheal and then turned to Keith as he began to talk.
"We missed you the new guy is a ass he isn't our Ella." I hugged Keith and waved as I walked out of the door heading towards the entrance to the field. I flashed my credentials to Joe the security guard he just smiled and nodded as I took my first step back out on the turf. I glanced up at the clock. Right now Junior was strapping in his car ready to race. Apart of me was filled with guilt I was missing him racing. I just missed him all together. The count down till Wednesday was on he would be home after the Celebrity Auction in Charlotte. I would get my husband back in my arms. I walked down past the some of the other people looking around taking in the sight of pre-game. The team ran out to cheers as they began to warm up doing the stretches. The fox affiliate in Atlanta starting the coverage. I was standing there checking the status of the race when I heard me name called and a familiar hand touching my shoulder.
Rain that was all that I saw as I stood at the door of the hauler. The race had been pushed back awhile because of the rain coming down. I heard the guys turn on the game in the back of the hauler as I walked in taking a powerade and laying across the couch.
"Hey Junior isn't that Ella." I heard Hoover asked as I looked up from the paper I was reading. My jaw instantly tensed as I saw who she was with and her arms around there neck in a hug. As she pulled back I saw a smile on her face. My anger was laced with jealousy that was my woman, my wife that was standing there actually talking to somehow who brought her so much hurt.
"Yeah that is her."
"Curt what are you doing here." I pulled back from the hug we had shared. I had a strange calm seeing him almost a confidence knowing I had Junior now. Someone who loved me and when I woke up he was there beside me he was by my side all the time.
"I am covering it for the paper. What about you." I watched his eyes can my body as we stood there. I twirled the leather piece that was my wedding ring around my finger.
"I am here for Keith and Micheal they got me back a pass for the sidelines. Plus I missed them." He reached out and touched my arm.
"How is Mooresville. You and Junior still just friends." he tone changing as he spoke. I covered his hand with mind and moved it off my arm. His touch was like a disease I didn't want to get.
"The Mo is awesome and yes me and Junior are still me and Junior." I had to smile thinking about his blue eyes and smile that made me melt.
"You seeing anyone." he grabbed my hand by my side.
"Curt stop. Please just don't go there." I pulled back from him looking at him and took my hand back. I felt him lift up my chin trying to lock my eyes with his. I jerked out of his grasped and walked away for the first time I felt like I had conquered him. I was the one leaving him standing there guessing.
I shot up off the couch as he touched her hand holding it for a second. She didn't pull back fast enough for my taste. I watched as his eyes scan her body they way mine did. I was the only one who could do that to her. I saw her turn and look down at the ground. I so bad wanted to her what they were saying as they stood in the background of the reporter on the field.
"What the fuck." He touched her cheek making her move her head up to look at him.
"What." the crew looking up at my outburst as the tv went to commercial.
"Dude the pre-show piss you off that much. Junior man you are red as hell." Tony Junior asked me as I stood up heading out into the rain. I went to my coach and slammed the door my own temper coming out this shit wasn't going to fly in my marriage. I wasn;t going to let it.
Late Wednesday Night
"Kristi I just man I can't believe he did that you know." I was laying on the couch at Junior's petting Buddy's head as he laid on my stomach. I was filling in Kristi on what had happened at the game Sunday as I waited on Junior to come home.
"Have you talked to Junior." I yawned as she asked me the question over the phone.
"No it is weird he hasn't called since Sunday morning before the race. But he should be home in awhile." I glanced up at the clock it was about to be 11 and the auction ended at 9:30. Me and Kristi talked for awhile longer her feeling me in on the happenings around my hometown. By the time we hung up I could barely keep my eyes open and I had to be up for work the next day. I turned off the lights downstairs and headed up to the bedroom. I rolled over for what seemed liked millionth time. My eyes catching the clock it was nearing 1am and still no Junior. I was laying there looking at our picture I had brought with me when I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. I turned the light on just as he entered the bedroom.
"Baby your home." I crawled down to the end of the bed wrapping my arms tightly around him. All I got in return was a ridged half hug. I pulled back looking at him.
"Rough-night." I sat back down on my knees as he pulled away sitting down his bag at the foot of the bed and sliding his suit jacket off.
"You could say that." he muttered as he start to unbutton his dress shirt. The feeling between us was cold. I noticed he didn't have his little make shift wedding band on. I didn't want to say anything right away but my mind begin to go.
"I missed you so much. I can't wait to snuggle back up to you." I laid back watching him get undressed by the beside lamp. He unloaded his pockets laying his wallet and cellphone on the armori shelf. He just nodded not answering me as he took of his white t-shirt heading into the bathroom closing the door. He had never closed the door before. When it opened again he had his boxers on.
"Junior what is wrong." I laid my hand on his shoulder as he slide of his socks.
"Nothing." his tone sounding agitated. he turned off the bedside lamp and climbed into bed laying on his back.
"I really did miss you baby alot." I kissed his lips getting a little response for him. I ran my hand down his barecheast sliding it to the waist of his boxers.
"Ella. I am tired come on." He stopped my hand moved it off him rolling over on his side making his back face me.
"Tired my ass Junior what is wrong with you and where is your wedding ring."
"God Ella what don't you get I am tired. I want to go to sleep. How hard is that to grasp."he snapped at me looking of his shoulder then turning back to his pillow.
"Fine sleep." I laid back down rolling over on my side. I felt him move beside me praying he was going to throw his arm around me and pull my close. But instead he moved to lay on his stomach. When I thought he was asleep I rolled over facing him watching his breathing go up and down evenly. I felt the tears I had fall down my cheeks as I so badly wanted to be wrap my arms around him. I cried until I fell asleep.
I woke up the next morning turning off the alarm before it went off. Junior stirred a little as I headed to get my shower and ready for work. I heard him come in and go to the bathroom while I was putting in my contacts.
"Feel better this morning." I asked hoping he would my Junior again.
"I didn't ever feel bad." he stated with a unreadable tone as he walked back out. I couldn't take it anymore.
"Junior tell me what is up with you. You are acting like a jackass." he turned around from plugging his cellphone into charge shooting me the Earnhardt glare that made people shake to there core.
"You really want to know what is wrong with me Ella. I shouldn't have to even tell you what is up." his voice was laced with sudden anger. I just stood there looking at him.
"Let me simplify it El for ya. You and Curt have fun at the Falcons game together." He got almost in my face as he asked me.
"What are you talking about."
"Aw give me a damn break. I saw you on TV behind the announcers. I saw him looking at you the way I look at you him touching you and stuff. I saw it all. " he tossed the t-shirt off the floor in the hamper.
"Ha. You are mad about that. Oh my god Junior give me a break." I threw my hands up in the air.
"What Ella you my damn wife and the guy that beat the shit out of you along with him being you ex. You and him are standing there like best buddies. How the hell do you want me to take it. " he was almost yelling as he spoke.
"I don't want you to be a ass about it." I raised my voice against his.
"I am being ass. God." he walked out of the bedroom headed downstairs. I was hot on his heels.
"Why are you mad." I touched his shoulder when I caught up to him. He swung around his body against mine making me back up against the kitchen counter.
"I am mad because he talked to you. I am mad because you talked to him and hugged him. I am mad because of the way he looked at you cause damn it El I am the only one that should look at your that way. I am mad that you were with him when you could have been with me." his words had so much anger and pain with them it scared me I couldn't say a word to counter him as he stood there his hands beside my body as he made sure every word burned into me.
"I love you Junior. Do you know how hard it is not having anyone know how much I love you. I want to shout it from every damn roof top. How do you think I feel when there are a million females sitting there thinking about you and dreaming about what it would be like to have you for a night."
"I have to go to DEI then I am leaving for the weekend." He pulled back from me and walked out.
"Where is your wedding ring." I had to know where that was. He stopped at the door and looked at me not answering and then headed up the stairs. I was gone before he came back down. I pulled into the parking lot at J.R. Motorsports. When I walked in Ella was standing there.
"Good Morning Mrs. Earnhardt." she said laughing all I could do was muster up a small smile and walk to my office. When I sat down my eyes fell of the pictures of me and Junior. I hadn't been in my office since I had got married and now here I was for the first time trying to run away from the fear of losing the best thing and the only thing I loved in my life.
By 2pm I had barley got any work done. I was just existing. I had called Junior a couple times his phone was off because I was directed to his voice mail. I stared at my blank power point I was doing for the status of Martin's sponsorship reach when my door opened before I looked up I heard the lock turn.
"Get up." I stood up as soon as I got full up. I felt my arm get jerked hard up against he body in front of me.
"Tell me how much you love me and that you want this."
"Tell me how much you love me and that you want this." I couldn't answer as his lips crashed down on mine. His kiss had the power like he was possessed. His tongue sliding hard against my lips forcing them to open. When I let him in he laced his tongue around mine taunting it almost to battle against his. The back of my knees him by desk chair as I moved back for the force of him. I heard the chair hit the back wall as he kicked it moving me back against my desk the ends hitting the back of my skirt covered thigh. I felt his hands slide into my hair taking it down from the clip it was in. Instead of his normal gently nudge to kiss my neck he pulled my hair back hard the attacking my neck as I almost yelp out from the tug.
"Junior what are you doing." I struggled to get out as he teeth nipped at the center of my neck and over to the back of my ear.
"About to make you scream." his tone was still edgy as he jerked my legs up around his waist as he moved me back farther on the desk.
"Take your shirt off." he asked his body suddenly moving off mine. His tone was demanding and full of power. I just sat there as his hands moved roughly up and down my legs going under the shirt then trailing back out. My hands shakenly moved to the top button of my metallic blue dress shirt. The bracelet I had on make noise as it hit a button. I got about 2 undone. When his hand covered mine pushing it down other one went back into my hair pulling my neck back forward for him to kiss it as he did I felt a grip on the fabric where my shirt was button as he ripped it apart the the buttons flying.
"You were taking to damn long." he let his eye drop to my chest that was no rising harder and harder as he kept watching me holding my upper arms tightly in his hands. I knew I would have hand marks there after this was over.
"Tell me what you want." I didn't say anything as he locked eyes with me. His normally soft baby blue's where now iced over.He popped open the front of my bra. I knew there was a reason why I wore this one today. His hands dropped from my arms squeezing my breast like he was checking fruit for ripeness. I sucked in a breath as he squeezed harder lifting one up to his mouth just enough to stick out his tongue so I could see it swoop around me.
"Shit." was all I could hiss out as he kept repeating this action. Switching for his left to right. Leaving them sparkling from his saliva. That Earnhardt smile appeared as he licked his lips and moved back towards me.
"I bet I know what you want me to do. You want me to fuck you." he whispered then bit the lobe of my ear. I yanked his hair that my hands had grasp as he moved his kisses back up his hand going up my back the back of my shirt a cool contrast against his hot hand. I leaned up bucking my hips up to his hands that were trailing again. He just laughed as dropped my hands down to the bottom of his shirt taking it off him so hard I thought I was going to ripe his neck off his head. My hands went up his smooth back the muscles moving under them as he forced me back on the desk my legs hanging down from around him as he leaned kissing the valley between my breast as his hands laid flat on the desk. I propped up my head enough to watch him stand and begin to unzip his jeans. I moved back up pulling him to me by his belt loops hard. He just looked at me as I began to get rough back to him.
"You want something." he laughed as I started to wiggle his pants down his hips far enough to get what I wanted inside. I my hand reached for him just to have my shoulder pushed back causing me to go back.
"Lift" was all he said as I lifted up by hips from the desk as he grabbed up my skirt pushing it up around my waist. He looked up at me from his mission as he laced his fingers in my panties and yanked them down my legs. I couldn't;t take it anymore I needed him in me now.
"Hurry Up." I yelled almost at him. I grabbed him by the neck landing my lips on his. My feet pushing his boxers down as we kissed hard. I felt him bite my tongue to go back at him I sucked his tongue long and hard getting a moan from him.
"You want it hard baby. Huh you want me to do you so hard that you think you are going to die."
"Do it Junior." I played right back to him. His hand went to my back and one in my hair as he yanked me to the end of the desk. I heard the picture frames fall as he moved up my legs going around his waist and my hands on his shoulders as he slided hard into me then almost all the way out again.
"Oh Shit." I screamed out as he slammed hard into me again. I swore with ever thrust he did he was touching my liver. He went fast paced my breast bumping up and down against his chest all I could do was hold on to him.
"Ugh." He growled out as I tight ed my legs around him. My hand moving down to were we are joined. He slapped it away and moved my own hand up on my breast his covering it as he squeezed it. It felt like he was getting harder and harder inside of me.
"Damn it Junior baby oh..Harder." He was sucking on my neck and his long curls of his hair in between my fingers. He held himself in side of me and looked up the hard blue eyes that I saw earlier where back to there normal state the state he always got when we made love. He began to move again in a hard slow pace. I could feel his hard length all the way in and out as he moved slowly. Then almost as I switch was flicked my hips bucked up against his as he slammed into me our skin slamming against the others making the noise.
"I am there. Junior Oh god baby." I moaned out as I felt my release coming hard and fast as his movements where. As he thrusted into me my body laid back on the desk his coming on top of me almost. I held on to his shoulders as I hit.
"OH YESS aahh. Shit" he kept pounding in me as I struggled to keep my eyes open. The feeling of him coupled with my reals was to much. I felt a jerk from him and his grip tighten in my hair. He moaned out loud and strong. Our moans mixing as we stared at each other. My our lips landed on each others and our tongues mixing up in a kiss.
"I love you Ella don't ever forget that." he whispered his voice soft and gently like it always was he kissed my closed eyes and cheek still deep within me.
"There is no other man I ever want but you." I heard him laugh as he laid his sweaty body of mine both of us with our legs hanging off the desk.
"That was wild." he said pulling out of me. I moaned out as he did. When I raised up he was pulling the desk chair back up and sitting in it his jeans and boxers below his knees.
"We just had sex in my office on my desk in the middle of the afternoon with your sister across the hall. That is wrong in so many ways." I couldn't help but laugh at the thought.
"But it was damn good." he lift up he lower half as he sat there pulling up his boxers then jeans. His t-shirt was hanging on my computer.I moved up from laying ont he desk. Putting my now bare feet on the armrest of my desk chair my heels falling off somehow in our steamy encounter. His hand wrapped around my calf lovingly as I moved up bringing my skirt back down.
"Your wedding ring." I grabbed up his hand looking at it and smiling. He had it back on.
"Last night when you asked me where it was it was in my pocket. I took off as I was walking up stairs."
"You mean.." He reached over and took his shirt down off the computer monitor.
"I mean I took it off before you would notice it. I have had it on since we gotten married." he said as he slide it back on his body and running a hand through his hair
"What about this morning." I watched as he moved around picking something up off the floor that he had rolled the chair on.
"In my right hand. I hadn't slide it on." When he looked back up at me he smirked.
"I think I am going to be keeping these." he held up my panties in his hand the slide them into his front pocket.
"Um.. No I need them." I scooted down off my desk my shirt and bra still open.
"Says who." I went to reach down at his pocket to have him catch my wrist and kiss me gently.
"You can do with out I promise. Plus I need these for my truck. What kind of southern guy would I be with out underwear in my glove compartment." I just looked at him.
"Baby you need help getting dressed again come're." he pulled me down on his lap as he brought the lace parts of my bra together and snapped them shut.
"You are good at that." I muttered as he began to button up my shirt. He stopped right in the middle.
"Uhh.. Your buttons." I had 2 button's missing right over my bust. He grinned as he stated the missing fact.
"Well sense you did this.Go ask your sister for some safety pins and give me my underwear back." I shifted tickling his neck. He moved around enough trying to not laugh and get away that I got my hand in his pocket and grabbed the lace of my panties. He stopped suddenly.
"Baby you know I am very sensitive down there." he pouted as I pulled the lace out all the way and stood up sliding them back on.
"Go and get me some safety pins you perv." He slammed my butt and got up unlocking the office door only after he stuck out his tongue and wiggled it.
"HEY KELLEY YOU GOT SOME SAFETY PINS." I heard him yell as he walked down and across the hall.
"BABY" I yelled at Junior as he walked up taking me in his arms holding me tight against him instantly kissing my cheek and face leaving little sloppy kiss marks everywhere.
"Junior." I whined almost as I wiped off my face.
"Yeah baby." he nuzzled the side of my neck his tone sexier than I had ever heard as he kept holding me tight. We were standing alone on the airstrip other than the DEI pliot who my guess was watching us.
"You ready to meet my family." he let he hands slide down to my bottom giving it a quick squeeze.
"Hmm maybe in a minute right now I want to..." he growled as he leaned down to kiss my lips licking his has he made a decent towards mine.
"Want to what Mr. Earnhardt." before he could answer I pulled him with me against he wall hiding in the shadows. Our lips landing on the other's tongues dueling back and forth our hips dipping against the others as we rocked to the other deeping the kiss.
"Damn." I heard Junior sigh as we pulled back from the other. All I could do was nod and keep my eyes closed as I could feel his heated lips almost on mine again. The tingling feeling my whole body from his kiss. When I finally opened them they were level with the baby blue pools I had missed since the day he left a week and a half ago.
"I love you." I kissed his soft cheek that had two day old scruff on it.
"I love you to baby." I felt his hand massage the back of my head letting his finger tips play with my hair.
"I am so glad that you wanted me. I don't think I could live without you." he just smiled and kissed my lips again.
"I am the one that got the best part of all this with you." His words were so sincere I almost let my tears go.
"We better head on so we can get down to the family on time."
"Oh Joy." he commented as we loaded up in the rental car and headed toward US 27 going back to my hometown. I laid my hand on his jean leg as he drove his hand soon covered mine. When we pulled into the local restaurant he looked over at me giving me the "now what look." Then a smile spread across his face.
"You know this was first place we ever ate together."
"It is." I smiled as the memory back in April where it all began somewhat.
"You nervous." I asked him as we were able to hold hands and be a couple down here. He didn't answer me as he opened the screen door for me heading into the restaurant.
"Are you. Huh.." I poked him in the stomach right at his belly button he laughingly pulled me up against his side.
"Nah.." he kissed the top of my head and massaged the side of my shoulder. The hostess led us to where my family was sitting. I grabbed back on to his hand as we walked.
"Well maybe a little." he whispered as a long table full of my uncles and aunts along with cousins and my grandmother came into view both sides of my family was here including my step mom and her family. It was almost intimidating to me. I felt his grip tighten up as my mom looked up and saw us standing to walk over.
"Princess you made it." my mom grabbed me and hugged me then pulled back looking at Junior standing there.
"I believe we have met before haven't we." she asked him as he stood there glancing at me.
"Yes ma'mn." he brought out his darling charm that no one could resist.
"Dale." she asked he just nodded then I saw it click on her face who he was.
"Well it is nice to see you again. Dale" she gave him a hug and then pulled my by hand to the table I reached back for Junior his hand gripping mine so tight as we walked almost in a human chain. When I sat down Junior was beside my uncle and my dad across from him. I felt his hand go on my leg causing me to look at him and smile. He just gave met he glare and turned back. As dinner progressed Junior little a little of himself show but mostly proving the statement that he really was shy. As the waitress sat down our main meal we both reached for the ketchup at the same time.
"Ella what is that on your finger." I looked over at my grandmother who just asked.
"My finger." I looked up at her and saw Junior shift uncomfortable beside me.
"Yeah sweetie and look he has one to." she said pointing to Junior who jerked his hands beneath the table.
"Well." my father asked now that the whole family had gotten quiet. I looked over at Junior and shrugged.
"Me and Junior got married back on September 9th hey Justin pass me the salt." I said all in one breath.
"YOU DID WHAT." my mother's voice echoed causing me to sit straight up. I felt a hand go and twine there fingers with mine I looked up at Junior and he smiled the went to speak before I could
"I married you daughter ma'mn." his voice semi-weak. He was so cute as he looked at her then looked away almost as if her head was going to spin around. My grandmother stood up and began to walk around the table. This had gone over worse than I thought one of the main people in my life was getting up and from the looks of it leaving. The tears began to form. I held on to Junior tighter. I felt a hand go on my shoulder and one of Junior's.
"Welcome to the family son." My grandmother kissed Junior on his cheek as he turned to face her they embraced in a hug.
"Ella you have never disappointed me and you still haven't. I can see you and and this young man are very much in love with each other. So I approve of the if now one else does." I stood up and wrapped my arms around the small lady my tears coming down against hers.
"He is more handsome in person than on tv. but Gordon is still cuter." she whispered to me in my embrace causing me to laugh.
"I love you."
"I love you to my baby granddaughter." she kissed me and went to sit back down. The family was silent for awhile.
"Well I would have liked to seen my daughter get married but long as you promise to treat her with love and never hurt her then I guess I approve of it to." My mom rose and hugged us both her tears made mine come. Soon the family was up and down walking to me and Junior hugging us both. Finally after everyone settled back down Junior wrapped his arm around me and pulled my close I could feel his kiss on my temple.
"I think they approve baby." I looked up at him as he nodded and smiled.
I laid my head down on his shoulder as we drove back to Talladega. We had said good-bye to my family all of the approving of the marriage and Junior my grandmother and Junior instantly falling in love with each other. My mom was still a little with drawn probably because Junior was with her but it was looking up. I closed my eyes as he drove totally relaxed humming to the radio.
"Wake up good lookin." Junior voice bringing me back to life almost as he shook me gently.
"Where are we." I wiped my eyes as I sat up in the truck my neck hurting from the way I was sleeping.
"In Dega at the couch come on." he pulled my hand gently as I slide out of the rental and wrapped myself around him laying my head back on his soft body.
"Woah now come on sweetie I have to walk you can lay on me when we get inside." he laugh as he walked almost carrying me.
"Meanie." I stuck my tongue out at him as I moved he stuck he right back out at me. I held on to his arm as we climbed up in the couch.
"I am so tired." The groan left my chest as I walked back into the bedroom Junior still in the front checking on the news and getting him a coke. I changed into some shorts and t-shirt laying across the plush bed the smell of my baby intoxicating me. He came back in with something in his mouth
"You are still hungry." he just nodded
"What are you eating." he opened up his mouth showing me his chewed up food.
"Aww really mature baby that showed about half the number you are going to be in about a week." he just gave me a face and went into the bathroom. I turned off all the lights and slide down into the sheets before he got back out. I heard him fumble with the clock on the bed side the get in.
"Hey Honey." I rolled over throwing my arm around his body and laying my head in his bare chest.
"Yeah." his breathing was smooth and even as he answered playing with my pony tail that was now tickling his arm. My hand drop down from his side lacing in the waist band of his boxers then moving up to run my fingers around his belly-button. I felt goosebumps pop up under my hand on his skin.
"Can we..." before I could finish he had me pinned under him his kisses raining down my face and his hands working on my shirt.
"Yeah we can."
"Mhmm Morning baby." I felt to hands go around my waist as I stood at the coach fridge getting a yogurt.
"Morning honey." I leaned back against his now boxered form. I sat down on the couch not being able to hide my smile from him as he smiled back getting some juice and sitting down beside me.
"You know something. We have had sex everyday we have been together since we got married." he said smiling and stretching he lean form out.
"Yeah and we have been married almost a month and have seen each other a total of 5 days." I patted his bare belly as he stretched up.
"5" he asked almost amazed at the number or lack there of.
"Yeah I counted up this morning on the calendar."
"Why were you counting days on the..." he grabbed me and turned me towards him a gleam in his eye I had never seen before coming to the front.
"No..I was just seeing if there was any chance but." He laid a finger on my mouth the kissed my cheek.
"We got the rest of our lives. Right now it is to much funny doing it all the time."
"I couldn't agree more." I stood up taking his empty juice glass. I felt him kiss me a he went and got his fire suit on heading out to practice.
"Hey baby tonight the boys from Troy are having this thing and they want us to go."
"Sounds good." I kissed him on last time and headed back to the bedroom to catch up on some work little did we know we would be going into a war zone.
"You cold" I felt to arms wrap around me as I stood on the back deck of Stump's trailer as David decided to do another keg stand.
"mhmm not now that you are out here." I leaned back against his sweat shirted chest as Junior stared to laugh as Josh helped hold up David's feet.
"I love you." he whispered softly and kissed my cheek as he moved down to sit in a lawn chair. I slide on his lap wrapping my arms around his neck.
"I love you more." I returned his earlier kiss tugging a little on his curls.
"You having fun." He asked me tearing his eyes away from the stunt in front of us to let me see those now tired baby blues.
"Yeah.I love being with your friends and you." he patted my hip and we both began to concentrate on the other party goers. Junior was laying off the drinking tonight and Martin decided to stay at the track. That left Josh being the only one I knew. All of his Troy friends were good ole' boys from Bama and extremely entertaining.
"Honey.. I am going out to the truck and get my jacket."
"I will walk with you if you want." he asked leading back in the chair tossing his coke can in the trash can near by.
"You are bad Fathead." I had to laugh as he nodded his head vigorously.
"That is why you love me. Baby hurry." we shared a pop kiss on the lips as I stood up. My Birkenstock crackling against the gravel as I walked out to the truck. I twirled Junior's keys around my finger hitting the unlock button his headlights blinking showing me exactly where the truck was. I almost had to crawl all the way into the cab to get my jacket as I reached for it I heard my cell ringing from my purse.
"Hello." I didn't glance at the id as I answered.
"Ella Gray." Keith was the only one that would call me that as I answered.
"Yes Keith Brooking what do I owe the pleasure." I laughed jumping out of the truck and shutting the door hard.
"We are going to the race Sunday so I just wanted you to know."
"Awesome okay. Um can you call me back tomorrow." I struggled pulling on the jacket and talking on the phone.
"You must be on a hot date I bet it is with Earnhardt, Be good use protection." with that the line ended. I hit the truck lock button sliding my phone and keys in to my Chance 2 jacket and headed back to the party. My hands were playing with the fleece inside the jacket as I walked through to cars. The party seemed so far away with the music muffled and the voices unable to be heard. It didn't feel like we had parked way out. I rubbed my make shift wedding band as a comfortable feeling came across me. I cut across in front of what seemed like a familiar truck. I didn't think anything of it until I felt something jerk me back hard against the cold mental on the truck.
"Damn baby you never looked so good come're and let me taste those lips." I felt someone grab my shoulders pressing there body hard into mine.
"Get off me" I shoved back enough to see who it was.
"Aww Ella come on you haven't loved on me in awhile you know you want to come on."
"Go to hell." I began to walk again faster I could hear the music get louder and now clear voices I knew I would be safe in a minute.
"I am in hell without you come on feel my pain." I felt him grab my hand shove it to his crotch as he leaned into holding wrist in his tight grasp. With a quick stroke I watched him step off me as my free hand his cheek.
"Don't ever talk to me touch me or get near me every again or I will call the law." I went to walk when I felt my left arm get twist sending me into instant pain.
"Bitch don't you dare raise a hand to me." he spat almost at me as he slurred his words and tighten his grip more and more.
"Curt let me go." I shouted as he twisted my arm more as I struggled to get away.
"Hey you seen Ella" I asked Melody as she sat in the living room where most of the girls had went and congregated.
"Last time I saw her she was heading out to your truck to get her jacket." Melody answered getting back to her gossiping. I walked to the front door looking out trying to see if I could see her but I couldn't even see the truck. I walked down the steps and headed out most likely her phone rang and she was in the middle of the driveway leaned up on some car talking. I got closer to the truck when I saw a dark figure sitting down beside it.
"Well look who I finally found." when my voice sounded out I watched her jump in the air scared of who I was.
"Baby..You okay." I asked as I finally got to her hair was down now. It had been up in a ponytail when she walked out and her hand was clasping the leather wedding band we had exchanged.
"My wedding band broke." she didn't look up at me but I could her her sobs as she held up the leather strip.
"Woo that is nothing to cry about I got more quarters I will buy you another one." I squatted down beside her I went to brush back her hair to kiss her when she jerked hard away from her face staring down at the ground.
"Sweetie tell me what is wrong." she didn't look up at me but moved and grabbed my hand pulling me enough off balance to sit down beside her and take her in my arms.
"Hold me please Just protect me and hold me." she began to cry harder as she moved so her head was on my shoulder her grip around my body so tight I was losing air with every breath
"You need to tell me what is wrong." I pulled her back and tried to look at her. My hand rested on her arm.
"Oww. Stop please." I drop her arm as she rubbed it she moved away from me almost as if I was fire and she was afraid of getting burned.
"What is wrong with your arm." she looked away from me and went to stand up when she did I grabbed her hand turning her around her face finally showing toward me.
"What the fuck." I yelled bolting up beside her she feel into my arms crying as I wanted to look at her more.
"I slapped him.. then ... he. in my face.. and please don't stop loving me please... my husband and you leave and.." she was making no sense as she cried. I felt my anger start to rise someone had her the one woman I loved with all my heart and now they where going to deal with me.
"Baby I am never going to stop loving you ever and I am always going to be your husband and I will never leave you." She moved and I looked at her face for the first time. Her lip swollen up and cut blood still coming from it and her cheek already swelling with a not.
"Who the hell did this to you. Tell me."
"Cu..." I stopped her as talked I knew who had did that. I had seen his truck when I walking out to find her and when I did find her had her broken down just like before.
"That bastard is dead."
"Junior please." he gathered me into his arms as he walked to the house carrying me almost like a child. When we got to the steps he stopped at the door.
"Josh..David." he yelled in a tone I had never head before the tone scared me.
"Baby look at me I love you." he brushed my hair behind my ears as he looked at me and wiped a dry trickle of blood from my mouth.
"Holy Shit Ella." Josh answered from behind Junior as he had walked down the steps.
"What the fuck happened." Dave asked as he sat down his beer looking the same way as Junior.
"Tell me who did this and I will kill him." Josh muttered as he sat down beside me pulling me into a sideways hug. Leaving his arm around me.
"Josh stay with her for awhile you to Dave don't let anyone near her." Junior commanded as he turned away from me. I knew that look in his eye.
"Junior." he ignored me as he bounded up the porch and into the trailer I heard his yells as he was looking for Curt. I glanced back at the door just to have Josh turn me back to face him.
"Josh please go stop Junior. Please." Josh just looked at me then David both of them nodding there heads.
"You stay right here and don't you move inch." I just nodded as they both ran up the steps headed in looking for Junior.
"You bastard." I yelled as I threw over the small plastic patio table playing cards flying everywhere.
"Wha..." I watched as he looked up at me then a smile came across his face.
"You fucking ever touch Ella again I will kill you if I don't know."
"You stay away from my wife." he walked up almost at a challenge as I stood there looking at him. I heard the patio door open behind me.
"Aww so that is what you call a good fuck now. Just remember I had her first and I just have to say she knows how to give good he..." With that my fist connected with his face knocking him back. The next thing I knew I was on the ground rolling around Josh and Dave trying to pull me back up from the person I was on top of it.
"Junior man stop." Dave yelled at me as he went to move me back.
"Josh." Stump yelled as Josh took over where I had left all yelling the whole time in the name of Ella. Our roles changed again as I broke away. Curt only getting one good shoot into my leg with a kick.
"I promise you man you ever come near her I will make sure you go missing and no one will give a fuck to come find you." I had to just walk away as he sat there wiping his mouth. Ella was still on the porch her hair pulled back in my favorite pony-tail.
"Your limping why." she asked turning around as the door opened.
"Cause my leg is sore. Come on let's go and you cleaned up." She fell into step beside me. Not saying a word as we pulled out and headed back to Dega. When we walked into the coach the cool air hit both of us. Ella just stood there looking at the counter and wiping the imaginary dust.
"Come baby I need you to take care of me." I pulled her close to me as she wrapped her arms around me I kissed her now less swollen lip gently the taste of blood still there.
"Let's get a shower." she nodded in agreement as we both walked into the bathroom soon steam was filling up the small air as I climbed in. Ella dropping her robe and stepping in behind me.
"Junior I love you." she kissed my shoulder as she reached for her shampoo and gently started washing her hair. Leaving me standing there looking at her and knowing I would love her forever.
November --- Weekend of the Phoenix Race
"Kelley.. Get in here." I yelled from my office desk as I looked down at the paper in my hand. I had just opened up the envelope that it was since it had been sitting on my desk since me and Junior left for Atlanta together. October had been the most time I spent with him since the races were all close to home. I was able to go to all of them including Kansas for his birthday. Where we left and head to taken in a Redskins game as his birthday present.
"What El." she asked from the door. I just kept shaking my head as she walked toward my desk.
"Look at this." I handed her the paper in my hand as she immediately stared back at me after she read the few little words.
"Oh my god...El" she said breathlessly. I brought my attention from her on the the pre race show from Phoenix. I saw Junior standing by his car smiling and laughing with his crew this news was going to change him for sure.
God I was so ready to be home. The plane had just landed down on the airstrip in Concord. Ella had been working non-stop at the company with Kelley getting the season ending things ready plus handling all the drama of us being married. Everyone but the fans knew of my marriage and beautiful wife at home. A couple of outside people had saw us together here and there but all the time the news was to my fans that there was a mysterious girlfriend out there. I tossed my bag in the back of my truck and headed home. The house of Ella's had finally sold so now we were leaving at the house full time with 2 dogs and a fat cat. The house lights were all off as I pulled in the garage. I just left my bag in the back of the truck as I headed inside the kitchen was dark as was all of downstairs. I heard the heavy paws of Slash coming pounding down the steps as I made my way up.
"Hey buddy." I patted his head as he licked at my hand the bedroom door was wide open and the night light Ella made me have in there so she could find the bathroom at night was the only light glowing in the big room. Buddy was asleep in his chair with Killer curled up beside him. I could see the outline of Ella's body on the bed curled up her breathing even as she was sound asleep.
"I love you." I kissed her head gently as I went to take a shower and get ready to finally get some sleep. When I walked back out of the bathroom the beside light was on and she was laying there looking at me.
"Did I wake you."
"Nope..baby I need to show you something." she said as she rolled over and grabbed a manila envelope.
"What is it." I laid down beside her as she struggled into my arms as I popped open the back of the envelope.
"Duh Sherlock I got that much." She just hit me in the stomach as I pulled them out and started reading them.
"Ella Grace Gray Earnhardt
Pregnancy Test : Positive" the rest of the words merged together as I looked down at her. She was just smiling and nodding.
"When did you find out." My mind wasn't able to make any thoughts as I laid there staring at her name and the word positive.
"Today the envelope has been on my desk since Thursday before Atlanta. Oh yeah we have a appointment after Darlington." everything was moving so fast.
"Um we did we.." she started to instantly laugh and run her fingers around my belly button.
"The day at the office. I am almost 7 weeks." she moved up looking at me.
"Are you happy." her eyes started to water up as she looked at me.
"Hell Yeah I am happy. Happy ain't word for it baby. I am just I don't know what I am. I am happy excited everything. I mean shit baby were made a baby." I kissed her soft lips as she went and turned off the light beside the bed.
"How are we going to tell this news now." I laughed as she just mumbled and kissed me again and fell back into my arms falling back to sleep quickly again. So much for getting to sleep tonight as my ran through everything from being a daddy to being the fathers of a racing champion.
"Yes mom Junior is going with me today for the doctors appointment and yes I promise I will call you after the appointment to okay.Now I have to go" I fought my way off the phone as Junior did on his with his mom as we drove to the eleven week appointment.
"June I am so excited." I patted his thigh as he shut off his phone and laid it beside mine in the console.
"Me too. I want to hear his heartbeat" he smiled bigger than I have ever seen him before he was so happy since he found out about becoming a daddy. Every night we would talk there were already plans of the baby having a contract with J.R. Motorsports. Both of our families new so did a couple a friends. The DMP had already started touching my non existent stomach and talking about being uncles.
"His.." I cut my eyes over at him as he pulled intot he parking spot smiling.
"Yeah his I am telling you I only make boys." he pronounced as he held open the door to the doc's office and walking in behind me protectively holding my back.
"Yeah..Yeah." I grinned over my shoulder at him as I signed in and he sat down on the couch in the waiting room.
"Mrs, Earnhardt." the nurse called from the door in her teddy bear scrubs. I yanked up Junior behind me as we walked into the door then down the hall with all sorts of baby pictures on the wall.
"That is a ugly kid." Junior pointed to the poster of a bald toothless baby that looked like Yoda as he scratched his head leaning back in the chair. We still had our cracker-jack wedding bands neither one of us wanting to get newer ones.
"Wow aren't you loving." I joked back with as he flicked me off.
"Well some people can't be as lucky as us and look so good and make damn good looking babies I mean it is not like our kid is going to be butt ugly." he defended his self and comment.
"Cocky much." I played with his hand as he held mine bouncing his knee up and down.
"You better be glad I love you." he kissed my cheek as the door opened and the doctor walked in.
"I am" I smiled back to him as the doctor cleared his throat.
"I am Dr. Peters." the older gentleman stretched out his hand as Junior and I both shook it.
"So it says here Ella that you are around 11 weeks pregnant and there is no signs of complications or anything am I right.
"Well then lets see if we can hear this little ones heartbeat and get everything lined up for the pregnancy.
"Lets do it." Junior answered from my side as the nurse walked into assist the doctor with the machine. I laid back looking over at Junior and smiling as the doctor spread the gel across my belly as he got out the wand.
"You ready to hear this little one." the nurse smiling asked as me and Junior both nodded eagerly as the wand touched my belly.
"Doc was going on why..." Junior asked from my side. Nothing was making a sound as the doctor glided the wand over my abdomen.
"Hold on let me try something different. Ella can you but your feet up on these stirrups." I just nodded as I looked over at Junior he had a look of fear in his eyes something I had never seen as he gave me a weak smile.
"Earnhardts are stubborn." he said as the doctor got the new probe and instant discomfort came but not with any sound of our baby yet.
"What is going on why can't I hear my baby." my voice breaking as the nurse looked away from me. Junior stood up and held my hand tighter as the doctor was still quite.
"Damn someone tell me what is going on."
"Baby." Junior leaned down propping his arm behind my head. As the nurse got the other machine out and brought the screen back up. I could see the outline of my baby on there but there was no sound. I looked into my husband's blue eyes as he stared at the screen waiting like I was the tears started coming down my face as the doctor and nurse both stopped what they were doing.
"Mrs. Earnhardt I am so sorry but we can't find a heartbeat."
"No your wrong. Junior tell him his wrong my baby was just on that screen. He is fine he was just there. Junior..." I looked up at him as his eyes watered up as the doctor continued to speak my mind turning off all the words he was saying as I watched the tear fall down my husband cheeks
"I promise it will be over soon baby." I held my crying wife in my arms laying over her blocking her almost as the doctor took our unborn baby as we both decided to have the D&C. She held on to my shoulders so tight crying non stop. The doctor just nodded at me when he finished leaving us alone in the no deafening quite room other than Ella's hard tears.
"Shh..it is over. Just me and you baby." I whispered softly to her.
"Take me home please just get me out here." she cried out as her tears came harder than I had ever seen before. For some reason all the strength I never thought I had surfaced. I had to take care of her.
"I will as soon as the doctor lets you go we will and I promise you will never have to come back here." I wiped her overflowing tears as she sat up slowly dressing back gently. The doctor walked back in as she sat crying as I held on to her shoulder. The reality of everything not hitting me as he had me a prescription for her pain and told me about grief counseling.
"Come on sweetheart." she slowly stood up walking gingerly in front of me as I touched her shoulder as we both stared down at the ground her tears falling slightly as we loaded up in the truck I went to kiss her cheek she gently shook her head and pulled away. I stopped by CVS leaving the truck running as I got her medicine filled. I slumped down in the waiting area in the soft chair trying to gather my thoughts before going back out to her when my cell phone vibrated.
"Hey Junebug. Tell me about my grandchild." my mom's happy voice filled my ear piece.
"Mom can you be at the house in about 20 minutes." my voice cracked as I asked for her again.
"Yeah baby what is wrong."
"I just need you there."
"Okay I am leaving now. I love you Dale Jr." I could tell her voice she knew something was wrong.
"I love you to." I hung up and took a deep breath as I began dialing another number standing up and walking into the quite hall of the bathroom as the end picked up on the other.
"Hello." the voice of Ella's mom came through the phone.
"Ms.Gray. It is Junior."
"Hey sugar how was the doctor's." her voice was filled with happiness just like my mother's as she asked.
"Um.. We.. I.. the baby is..." I couldn't say it. I couldn't let myself admit it cause then I would know that it was real.
"Junior is everything okay what is wrong."
"We lost the baby." it sounded so weird and wrong. I ignored my own words as I said them it was all a sick joke.
"Oh my god. Are you two okay." I could her the tears coming down even over the phone.
"I think so. I need to go though." I had to get back to Ella and take care of her.
"Sweetie you two call me and I will be up there in a heartbeat okay."
"Yes'ma." When I hung up and walked back out the the pharmacist was ready. The young girl told me everything that went in one ear and out the other as I nodded and paided heading back out when I got it the truck Ella was curled up on the seat just staring at the floor.
"Baby I am taken you home now." I touched her as she flinched hard almost shocked I had touched her. She said nothing as we drove home. I pulled in and helped her out she went straight up to the bedroom changing into a pair of sweats and a long sleeve t-shirt her eyes where so red and puffy from crying so long there were no tears coming down her face anymore. I watched from the door as she crawled into the bed and rolling on to her side facing the windows.
"Here baby take these." I had her a pain pill and one to keep infection down. Her cold hand took them and then she slide under the covers.
"You want me to stay with you." she shook her head and rolled away from me.
"I love you." she didn't move as I walked out and closed the door gently. As my foot hit the last step my mom came through the door walking straight to me.
"What is wrong." I couldn't say anything as she instantly took me into a hug.
"The baby died. Mama I ain't a daddy anymore." it finally hit. I had lost a child. My child my son or daughter. Something that had a part of me running through its veins was now gone and I couldn't bring it back or control it.
"Ella.." I yelled through the house coming up the stairs to find my wife. I had just got back from the awards banquet finishing seconded to Jimmie Johnson.
"Ella." I yelled again as the bedroom door was closed. I cracked it open the instant smell of liquor came through. She was laid out on the bed like she had been since Thanksgiving the empty bottle and glass on the beside table next to her pain pills.
"Wake up." I yelled at her all she did was groan and move. This was the woman I loved now reduced to someone I didn't know anymore who I lost knowing in only a month.
"What." she sheathed back at me. She had lost a ton of weight not eating her eyes were no longer bright blue but empty looking with heavy bags under her eyes.
"Get up." I yanked the covers down from her body. She was wearing what she had one for the last 4 days I assumed.
"Like Hell leave me alone. Go play with something." she waved her hands pulling the covers up over her body.
"Get your ass up." I pulled the covers back off her. She had no fight in her like before.
"Junior leave me the hell alone." she rolled over looking at me with such angry and pain. She was just a shell of herself.
"Damn you look horrible get a shower."
"Don't you tell me what to do. I am not some little kid." she mouthed back as she sat up almost falling back reaching for her pain pills.
"What you going to dope yourself up again so you can just be out of it all the time." she just looked up at me as she tried to snap open the pill top.
"Well it is better than dealing with you." I grabbed the pill bottle out of her hand as she fought to stand up.
"Give them to me Junior."
"No you need to get your ass together." I turned my back toward her walking to the bathroom.
"Give me my pills Junior." she yelled at me grabbing my arm hard as I almost pulled her as I walked. I walked into the bathroom and dumped them into the toilet.
"NO..." she screamed out as I hit the flusher and the went down. She feel to her knees on the floor in front of me breaking me down she finally cried again. The tears falling hard. I instantly went down by her side reaching for her.
"Ella baby." when I reached to touch her she yanked back.
"Don't touch me."
"God Ella I lost the baby to. What do you think I don't think about that. I think about it every damn day. That was part of me to."
"You don't know how I feel and you will never know how I feel." she cried her fist hitting my shoulder as I pulled her into me.
"Let me go Junior. Let me go."
"No you need to straighten up this shit El. It has been over a month."
"Well Iam sorry if I can;t just forget our baby in a month." she stood up from me her tears stopping again and her anger building back up. She walked toward the counter picking up a picture of us from Atlanta.
"Get out Leave me Alone." she screamed as I stood up walking toward her.
"GET OUT " she yelled in my face. chunked the picture across the room as it shattered into pieces against the wall my temper rising.
"YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE SO BAD I WILL LEAVE." I yelled right back at her she just nodded and bent over the bathroom counter. I slammed the bedroom door shut and head to the guest room where I had been sleeping since the night we founded out about the baby. My marriage was on the last stranded and that was almost broken. I grabbed my bag from earlier and headed back down the steps. Where I was going I did;t know. The dogs looked up at me from there spot in the kitchen as I grabbed my keys and slammed the door throwing the truck in gear and heading out. This was were we had fallen apart. Leaving.
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