So, after disowned by both Bruce and Gary, me, Varg, and Linh wanted to have an adventure. Although the prospect of Jell-O liquification seemed tempting, we settled on a task even greater--catch a duck.

We all thought we were crazy. We knew we had no chance. Still, we pressed on, traversing afar to Kroger for $.67 bread (with our senior citizens discount at the self-check out line, of course). We dropped by Varg's house for a couple of boxes, then off to Rhodes Jordan Park.

The plan was simple....a box, lifted by a twig, tethered to the string I wear around my neck. Lure the hungry ducks with the bread. One quick yank, and the fowl would be ours.

There were plenty to choose from.

But we knew we had to catch the meanest, ugliest, more disturbing of them all...the Durky.

Is it a duck? Is it a turkey? Who knows. It may be an age-old enigma that plagues man forever. All we know for certain is that it has cancer of the everything.

When luring with bread didn't work, we decided just to chuck the box at the bird. Varg and I clandestinely followed our prey. As we apprached it by the murky waters, I told Varg to give me the box. In one quick sweep, I boxed the bird!

It thrashed violently in the confines of the cardboard, and it was a work of agility and strength to scoop it into a second box, avoiding being pecked to death. As soon as the beast was sandwiched, we jumped up to see a woman who said, "What are you going to do with that?"
Me:"Uh, our friend has a lake...and he wanted a duck..."
::::a few steps later::: "RUN!!"

We tossed the durky in the trunk and sped off. Yes, we realize we stole a duck. And we like it.

After capturing the elusive durky, we pondered as to what to do with it. We tried Khoa's house, for we knew Khoa wanted the duck, he was not home, sadly. We decided to give it to Moyer.

En route to Moyer's house, a wrong turn led us right into his path! We sped across Johnson and blocked his passage by parking in the middle of the road. After failed attempts to toss the bird into Kyle's car, we informed him the stinky object was a duck, then promptly sped off.

A few miles later, a thought rang through all of our heads. MIKE! So we drove to Mikail's and knocked on his door. Upon answering, we hurried ourselves and the rank box ito Mike's bedroom. We told him to open his present.
"What the hell? Is that a duck? WHAT THE?! Is that a turkey?"
"Durky, my friend. A durky."

I tried to let it loose in his room, but Mike stopped me. Me, Varg, and Linh ran out of Mike's house, attempting to leave the bird, but Wendy threw the box on top of Linh's hood. I jumped out, freed the bird, then hopped back in.

Wendy tried to make us take it back, but she failed. Mike now loves his new little pal.

This is why we are the cool kids.