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Jeff Foxworthy's "You might be from the Pacific Northwest..."

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Jeff Foxworthy comedy routine.

1. You know the state flower (Mildew).

2. You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or
paper in the trash.

3. Use the statement "sun break" and know what
it means.

4. You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.

5. You know more people who own boats than air

6. You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice

7. You stand on a deserted corner in the rain
waiting for the "Walk"

8. You consider that if it has no snow or has
not recently erupted, it is
not a real mountain.

9. You can taste the difference between
Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and

10. You know the difference between Chinook,
Coho, and Sockeye salmon.

11. You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup,
Issaquah, Oregon, and

12. You consider swimming an indoor sport.

13. You can tell the difference between
Japanese, Chinese and Thai food.

14. In winter, you go to work in the dark and
come home in the dark-while
only working eight-hour days.

15. You never go camping without waterproof
matches and a poncho.

16. You are not fazed by "Today's forecast:
showers followed by rain," and
"Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers."

17. You cannot wait for a day with "showers and
sun breaks."

18. You have no concept of humidity without

19. You know that Boring is a town in Oregon and
not just a state of Mind.

20. You can point to at least two volcanoes,
even if you cannot see through
the cloud cover.

21. You notice "the mountain is out" when it is
a pretty day and you can
actually see it.

22. You put on your shorts when the temperature
gets above 50, but still
wear your hiking boots and parka.

23. You switch to your sandals when it gets
about 60, but keep the socks

24. You have actually used your mountain bike on
a mountain.

25. You think people who use umbrellas are
either wimps or tourists.

26. You knew immediately that the view out of
Frasier's window was fake.

27. You buy new sunglasses every year, because
you can't find the old ones
after such a long time.

28. You measure distance in hours.

29. You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the
same day.

30. You use a down comforter in the summer.

31. You carry jumper cables in your car and your
wife knows how to use

32. You design your kid's Halloween costume to
fit under a raincoat.

33. You know all the important seasons: Almost
Winter, Winter, Still
Raining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer)
Deer/Elk season (Fall).

34. You actually understand these jokes and
forward them to all your
friends in the Northwest, those who used to live
here or those who think
they might want to live here!