The girl is racing. She can barely stand still while waiting for her turn at the store. When it is finally her turn she pays and rushes out. She fumbles for the car keys knowing from experience that they always seem to get lost in the pocket. When she gets to the car the keys are in her hand and she opens the door and gets in.

She tries to remain still while driving. It feels like she's barely crawling although the speedometer registers the speed as slightly above the limit. She's got to be there she's got to be safe and fast. But where's there, where's safe. She doesn't know she has to find safe. Find safe, be safe. Finally she picks a place and heads there.

She parks the car and finally looks at her purchase. Five shiny stainless steel single edge blades. This time it's the instep. The first cut doesn't feel painful. Just slight pressure and then an icky feeling as the blade slices the skin and after a while a sting that signifies that the skin has been cut thru. Then it's pause, watch the blood start flowing and slowly cut again, pause watch the blood, cut again and again and again. Finally the game becomes tiring and the tension is relieved.

With the uttermost care she washes the cuts and dresses them. She will spend the next few days changing the bandages as the cuts heal and watch them carefully like they are her babies, her creation.

-------------------