I still remember the day before I did it. For some reason I was very angry at myself (nothing really new there, but this was more). I remember being at work, my job at the time was delivering pizzas, counting the minutes untill I got home, I promised myself I could cut once I got home.
I did just that. Got into the bathtub and sliced.
Watching the blood trickle out of the cuts gave me some
weird satisfaction. Afterwards I was totally calm and
at peace.
It´s been over 2,5 years since that first cut. I´ve
kept it up every now and then, longest period without is
probably 6 months. I havent really tried to stop, if I
feel I need to do it I do it,if I dont feel like it I
dont.
I have also experimenteted with burning, put out a
candle and a cigarette with my fingers, and hitting.
I´ve had only two trips to the ER because of cutting.
One time mom called an ambulance when she saw what I was
doing(got out after chatting with a shrink), second when
I had successfully made a deep cut that needed stiching.
Out of all places I had chosen my leg this time, mumbled
something about having accidently cut myself with a hobby
knive, no one questioned it(guess they get lot of people
in who´ve been playing half naked with hobby knives).
I have become very good at dressing wounds. I even stiched my leg at one point, 4 stiches without any anesthetic, it didnt hurt anyway.