wassup! well, if you want to get to know me...just a bit... here're are the basic things on me, it's a bit of a read, oh well, but the people who know me best...are my friends, :) and the people who know me even better than that...are my closest truest friends... :) okie, my name's Selene. I'm 17 now, and my birthday passed about 4 months ago [sept. 5 for those who forgot :p]...I'm a 12th grader at RCI in toronto, yup the cocky city, *hahah*...hmm physically...i'm too short [ 5"1' *hah* ]!! but it's alright :)..i don't think i'm all that wonderful to look at either...yup...low self-esteem. :P..err..i like sports!..when i'm not sitting on my lazy butt all day, *hehe* v-ball, biking, blading and go-karting are my things...*haha* i know i suck at them all, but hey..at least i try right? um let's see, oh yea, the obvious missing one...status...well most of you know, me ish all alone *sniff* *laughs* actually i'm alright w/ it...i just wonder if there's anyone out there who loves me... probably not...hmm, i'm one of those people who are as the cliche goes, "in love w/ the idea of love" *haha* because, i mostly wonder if i'll ever fall in love again.. and yesh, i know i will...but what i mean is not the one sided love, where i'd fall for someone, and he wouldn't know it, and most likely never feel the same way...i know that's going to happen a lot *sniff*...no i mean falling in love...together!! with someone...someone to hold my hand when i'm scared, who'll whisper "i love you" in my ear for no apparent reason, where i'd love him...and he loved me...that's what i think about...if i'll ever have that again...*shrugs* yea i know, i'm young...and that i shouldn't think that way...but like cindy said, "that's the way i am, and someone will love me for it one day" *haha* alright, she didn't say it in those exact words, but hey, i got the idea through! the music i like are trance and r&b...i love trance..but i'm not a raver...*shrugs* if you know any good trance songs...TELL ME!!! and finally if you wanna reach me...there are a few ways, there's 
ICQ 19408561 email lilsillyangel@home.com asianavenue mintchocolate and you know the #'z if you're my friends..... |
the one big thing that has been hitting me a lot lately, is that as we're all nearing 18, reality just comes down harder and harder. Let me elaborate, sure we're becoming legal adults, yippee-yay...but, a lot of us have to start paying attention to our actions, because the consequences are great...and no, i'm not talking about stupid petty arguments between friends, gossiping, ganging up on people...just because they "said" something about you...no i'm talking about life and death,and how we treat these two. everyone who knows me...knows that i have this phobia towards death, i'm just scared sh*tless by the idea of death, and one of the reasons that i'm afraid of death, is that i'm going to die without a cause, that everyone will forget me, and that my existence would have been meaningless...so i hate talking about it, or thinking about it. but a couple of days ago, i was surfing through AA, and i came to a page, where a girl had put up a dedication to her friend. He had just passed away this month. That alone would've been sad...and i probably wouldn't have thought twice about it, but here's the thing, he was MY age. his birthday was this january, he didn't live to see his 18th birthday, and it saddened my greatly. I went to his page, he was one of those guys wo loved to have fun, raving...but he also had plans for his future, he was more ready for university than i am...he enjoyed photography...and he wanted to go into it...and he had many other interests too, that he was looking into...but now he can't...it hit me hard...he was so young...he didn't even get a chance...!! yesterday i was reading a newspaper, an 18 year old boy was killed in a car accident, he was driving...and someone hit him....as a child, i always heard reports like this and it didn't hit me, sure it was sad, but...it was something i'd forgotten as soon as i went out to play...but i'm 17 now..and i have friends turning 18...who are 18, and what's more we're all more independant now, we don't have our parents hands to hold across the street now. i have friends who drive, friends who rave, friends who drink...for fun, and i never thought much about these things...we're all just having fun...no one thinks of having to be cautious about it...most of us are careful...and that's great... i don't know exactly what i'm saying...it's just what's been on my mind...i guess...i'm finally realizing that reality is hitting deep at home. |