My Rage

This feeling, this feeling of emptiness I haven’t known quite like this. The rage returns to me, the aggression I’ve tried so hard to repress it but it still returns to me. The rage, tried so hard, tried everything I know to denounce this rage inside, this knife in my chest that won’t go away. Strain on muscles will not let it release, the anger subsides shortly. My mind racing, thoughts fill my head with idea’s I shall not bare. Does anyone care? The speed of these songs match my thoughts, many others know this feeling. Why do I have to share this feeling? Do they understand? The ones who sing about this feeling? Do they understand or do they just do it for the money…. The rage subsides shortly and returns, writing soothes temporarily. Why do feelings come on so strong like this? Feelings of rage make me want to take this out on others, I don’t want this…Must take aggression out other ways….The rage inside keeps calling to me, it wants to be let out. The rage help the tears not to fall, although I wish they would! It’s the eternal struggle of me, back and forth, rage, pain, sadness. When I am happy , it must have a balance. My feelings do what they can to balance this I can’t always be happy nor can anyone. There must be a balance to all!! Thoughts of being positive come to mind, the rage tempts me the other way, what to do? I just want to run, run, run until my legs burn so bad, burn the rage out of my system GET OUT!!! I almost like the rage sometimes, I am tempted by power, rage is power. Rage takes over thoughts and makes my mind wander. I try to keep my words to myself, sometime the rage slips out. The other side of the balance tries to correct it, and makes it seem there is no rage. The other side of the balance helps me pretend everything is ok. I know deep down everything will be ok, its just this feeling of emptiness that is aching inside me, working its way through my soul, my muscles and my cells that keep me going.