So many people, so little time. - O.L. Kern

This is the best thing since Dehydrated Water! - E.F. Fog

This place is grossly inadequate, though. - E. F. Fog

Good missiles, eh? - A Canadian Prime Minister

I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Hillary Clinton. - A World Leader

More vodka, nurse. - Mr. Boris Yeltsin

To the best of my knowledge, this is not not not not not not legal. - Bob Bobson III, Jr.

Tree-killers! - A Greenpeace Eco-Terrorist, uh, Law-Abiding Member

Dear Mr. Greenpeace,

Our weapons are not only fashionable and effective, they are also 100% biodegradable! If you were to dispose one of our atomic warheads in your local landfill, which we HIGHLY recommend, in a mere 20,000,000,000 years, that warhead will have degraded to an only slightly radioactive casing. Buy from Mr. Hussein's Shack of Mass Destruction today!

-The Management

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck? - Three little schoolgirls

Assuming that a woodchuck could chuck wood?

-The Management

Open up! - U.N. Weapons Inspector

I only said I wouldn't send in ground troops!

-Bill Clinton

I categorically condemn all efforts to impose sanctions on Iraq.

-Kofi Annan

Shut up, Dexter. You're crazy.

people

I found that highly offensive!

The Author

The gummy watch is the most godly thing there is.

N. "Dorkum" G.

"Will you be my nemesis?"

General Public

Doug's Drink. Better than drinking Doug, but not by much.

Doug's Drink. Contains no ingredients.

Doug's Drink: The Drink of Fools

Doug's Drink: You drank it, didn't you?

-Orchestra-type people

... and I hope to remain as your unelected president...

A. G., formerly known as the daughter of Callista the Warthog

This has no significance whatsoever and should be updated.

-Alvin

Put your hand on your head, I said!

-Simon

Oh, we just sort of ...talked.

-Theodore

A threesome I can deal with, but four?

-Cardinal Richelieu, BLACKSTONE OBSERVER

The stupider people think you are, the more surprised they'll be when you kill 'em.

-ManaKnight13