1. Identify target. Check identification to the point where you are absolutely certain your subject is a Katie. FBI files can be helpful in this stage. Once you have identified the target, assign it a code name. All great military actions have code names. For our purposes here, we shall use TARGET:KATIE1.

2. Put on hunter orange. Just do it.

3. Assign mission a code word (see justification in Step 1). For our purposes here, we shall use OPERATION:CATCHAKATIE.

4. Obtain several Katie (TM) traps. These can be purchased at your local grocery store, through do not ask for them by name. Also recommended: at least five Katie (TM) snares. Note by Editor: Katie(TM) traps are available here.

5. Mix a batch of Katie (TM) bait. Bait must be fresh for full effect. Remember, not too much stirring; batter should be lumpy.

6. Carefully plant spies around TARGET:KATIE1 and follow its weekly routine to the point where you can pinpoint its location with semi-accuracy at any given time. This may require patience; don't be discouraged if you do not have success right away. It can take weeks. Radar can be helpful at this stage.

7. Mix more Katie (TM) bait. By this time, the old batch will be unsafe to eat. Note: If you are experiencing any difficulties with pests around your headquarters, stale Katie (TM) bait is a good way to control the population and saves you the cost of an exterminator. Just leave small amounts of the bait in corners and near walls.

8. Wash your hunter orange. It stinks by now.

9. Purchase a pair of opaque black sunglasses and move around town with a set of dog tags prominently displayed. This will alert TARGET:KATIE1 to your presence, thus making the hunt more sportsmanlike. Note: if you complete this step before you begin Step 8, TARGET:KATIE1 is almost guaranteed to be, shall we say, alerted to your presence.

10. Attempt to place a car bomb dud in TARGET:KATIE1's car. When it finds the bomb, the psychological torment that is a part of every hunt will have begun. Be sure the dud is indeed a dud. Otherwise, well, boom.

Note: if TARGET:KATIE1 does not have a car, you can always try to place a bicycle bomb, but our suggestion is to continue on to Step 11.

11. Eat something. You're probably starving by now.

12. Purchase an interesting array of automatic and semiautomatic firearms, at least one of which is affectionately referred to as "Old Betsey".

13. Purchase ammunition for the aforementioned weapons. This will not, of course, actually be used, but it is a lot more intimidating to TARGET:KATIE1 if your machine gun is loaded. Note: It also looks rather impressive if you stand on a street corner in your dog tags, opaque black sunglasses, and hunter orange, with your right hand in your pocket, flipping in your left hand what from a distance appears to be a quarter but what upon closer inspection turns out to be a machine gun cartridge. More psychological torment.

14. Leave street corner and return to headquarters. It's raining.

15. Your Katie (TM) bait is stale again. Try freezing the next batch; it stays fresher longer.

16. Set Katie (TM) traps in places you are certain TARGET:KATIE1 will see them, but will still be able to avoid them. More psychological warfare. Be sure to hold back at least four.

17. Go to a concert with a friend. Relax, enjoy the evening. You've earned it.

18. Set a Katie (TM) trap, baited with Katie (TM) bait (thaw it first) in a place where TARGET:KATIE1 will not see it but will run into it.

Note by editor: The given method for catching a Katie is extremely messy, not to mention painful to Katies. We have created an alternate method.

19. When an unsuspecting Katie wanders into your Katie(TM) trap, the fun begins! Remove it before any actual physical damage occurs. You wouldn't want to damage your specimen!

20. Said Katie will most likely be unconscious. Dump it in a ditch and leave it for another hunter. You wouldn't want to spoil their fun, would you? Besides, catching the same Katie multiple times is just as much fun as depleting the supply of Katies!