Nemesis Day is coming! This promises to be a great celebratory occasion, where men and women, regardless of race, creed or national origin, can come together and promise to destroy each other. Indeed, a great day for us here at Mr. Hussein's Shack of Mass Destruction.

A little background, perhaps. Nemesis day came about when a group of our lesser-known corporate nonentities, including but not limited to one of our fast-track one-track minds, one Mr. Dog Chow, came up with a semi-brilliant discovery. (Warning: names have been changed to mock the innocent. No harm is intended, good sirs. ) Actually, his discovery was less than semi-brilliant. He never made a discovery at all. In fact, the last time we "borrowed" research from his scientific team, we ended six years behind the competition. Anyway, the diplomatic corps of Mr. Hussein's Shack of Mass Destruction strolled into action. Our brilliant diplomatic techniques have secured us the sponsorship of this non non non non non global event. An example follows of our negotiations.

Corporate Representative: "Will you let us sponsor Nemesis Day?"

Student:"No!"

Representative pulls out semiautomatic thermonuclear device: "Does this look familiar?"

Student:"Hey, where'd you get that? Nobody was supposed to know about that!"

Representative: "If you don't let us sponsor this, we'll tell... ummm... YOUR MOMMY!!!"

Student: "Hey, you can't do that! Fine, you can sponsor it!"

Representative: "Thank you. Come again!"

Note: The author considers the last conversation to be in extremely poor taste. He warns you not to read it. Oh wait, you read it already, didn't you? Carry on.

If you wish to participate in Nemesis Day, all you have to do is listed in the following short steps.

1. Find your surplus valentines from when you were a small child. Oh wait, we all have those somewhere, don't we? If you do not have yours, order one from our order form!
2. Cut the valentines into a skull and crossbones shape.
3. Distribute them to your nemeses or people who you want to be your nemeses, often asking nervously, "Will you be my nemesis?"

It's that simple! Prepare for Nemesis day today! Back