Our roving agent, Anthropologist Bob, disappeared on October 2, 1999 investigating a phenomonon known only as "whoa' um' kumming". His tapes and notes were found several days later. These tapes are all that remain. They have been transcripted here for you to see.

2 October, 1999 9:42 PM

Anthropologist Bob, reporting in. I am here at what appears to be a complex mating ritual of this culture, known only as "teenager". Natives of this culture apparently call this ritual "whoa' um' kumming". It seems to involve strange electronic tones, accompanied by body gyrations and altogether too much silliness. These odd tones, which apparently are considered forms of "music", obviously are prerequisite for their mating and reproductive rituals in this society.

I shall describe my current surroundings. I am in what appears to be a large empty space, possibly a forum or an agora of some sort. I have ruled out the possibility of this being a gymnasium, due to the strange form of markings on the floor that cannot possibly have anything to do with athletic activities. Hordes of people are engaged in this mating ritual; however, they appear to interact primarily one-on-one, with the male generally initiating conversation. This is not necessarily true, however, for I have observed many instances where the female has begun the ritualistic behavior.

The walls of this enclosed space are padded, possibly to avoid injury to self or others. Loud, extremely high-pitched sounds are playing in the background, interfering with my concentration on these field notes.

I have been just called to join in the festivities. Not wishing to offend my contact, I will proceed to do so immediately. I will record more information as it gets to me. Anthropologist Bob out.

2 October, 1999 10:55 PM

My contact, whom I refer to as "Elizabeth", has called my attention to strange strobing lights flashing on the ceiling of the edifice where this event is being held. They seem to be forms of mind control devices, commanding this mass of people into docility. They seem to be extremely potent apparati. Even a few minutes of exposure to these devices apparently destroys one's will to resist the flow of events and act independently.

The oddest thing is, these people voluntarily come to this facility, whatever it may be, to engage freely in this behavior. According to some practitioners of the local religion, events such as these are destroying the moral fabric of society. However, all cultures have such doomsayers, and few people in any rational society pay mind to these folk. Anthropologist Bob out.

2 October, 1999 11:07 PM

This is Anthropologist Bob once again. Perhaps I was mistaken in my original theory of this being a courtship ritual. I have seen many occasions so far tonight of apparent treachery, pain and despair. I will have to modify my theories regarding this culture to take this into account.

Some of the worst incidents so far involve, apparently, three or four people. I am barred from saying more; yet, the future reader may have some idea regarding what I refer to... Anthropologist Bob out.

2 October, 1999 11:29 PM

Anthropologist Bob again. I stick to my theory of this being a courtship ritual, with most of the nastiness and treachery having primarily resolved itself. However, some problems still remain, which my theory can easily take into account. This situation seems to be a courtship ritual, yet jealousies and bitterness are the primary causes of problems. However, these factors are inherent in all such rituals of this type among cultures. Anthropologist Bob out.

2 October, 1999 11:32 PM

Anthropologist Bob speaking. I have been informed by another contact that this form of "music" is intended to be highly suggestive of the reproductive act. This could possibly be a chance to *ahem* "get some." Anthropologist Bob out.

The previous entry in the tape was the last known entry of Anthropologist Bob. His whereabouts are currently unknown. He is presumed dead.