Dear Jeff - yes, it is difficult for us ex-cobuers to find a church.  We
went to a Christian college in 1981 after leaving in late '79.  At first,
we went to a Christian and Missionary Alliance Church, simply because we
liked the idea of Christians and Missionaries being in alliance together!
 We sat right in front of some neat people who had been missionaries in
Columbia, S.A. and he had studied about various cults and sects in that
country, so he knew right what was going on with us.  Bob & Marge Searing
were their names, and they had been married a long time and had "kids"
about our ages.  They made us feel like family and never made us feel
weird about talking about the Fellowship. He was fascinated and asked us
lots of questions, and was very reassuring.  He helped us to see how Cobu
(unfortunately, in a sad way) wasn't the only place people had the
"exclusive truth" corner on the market, or the power and control problem.
 He encouraged and directed our zeal back to Jesus Himself, and so it was
very healing for us at a vulnerable time, and so we were able to
transition well.  But still, we found that many people go to church but
live at a level of unbelief.  They pray for healing but don't think it
will happen.  They say they desire a deeper experience with God, but they
are scared to openly worship Him unreservedly in front of others so it
can be more corporate.  Those things, in the beginning of Cobu, were
wonderful, and ST will be held more accountable for ruining those.  I too
was affected about Maureen's (hi M.) comment about what others are
referring to as "heart rape."  I think some of us were more like "heart
molested" depending on the time when we left.  That is why all of us,
however, have a hard time trusting our hearts to anyone ever again.  And
like victims of sexual abuse, many of us want nothing to do with trust
ever again, and we don't find anyone out there who is willing to "woo" us
into the proper relationship with a church.  Jim and I lead what has been
called "the best" small group in our church.  This Wed. was the first
break for the summer - we have met since Oct. each Wed. night, in spite
of my extreme schedule when I was in school.  We have decided to do the
wooing for others.  We have been gone from Cobu now for such a long time,
and in realizing (even through this Website/Onelist) that we are still
alive in Christ, and that we are now in a healthy, albeit young, church,
we are in a more mature position now to see that many others have been
hurt by life and by the "traditional church" experience, and that we can
offer, if nothing else, a forum for listening and prayer.  It is a deep
human need to be "known."  The hard part is that we were taught to spill
our guts then we were hurt.  It is like the "Cheers" song on TV - a place
"where everybody knows your name."  Our church is too big to know
everyone's name, but our group is a place to self-disclose safely and to
pray.  It has taken us a long time to get to this level, however, and Jim
and I don't just lead, we ourselves "need."  These people have become
very dear brethren to us.  We are in prayer over their various summer
exploits, their dreams, their health & safety, their spirits.  I think
part of what we (collectively) like about this Onelist is that here we at
least have a frame of reference where we are at least a little bit
"known" because of our common experience.  God bless you as you search
for a place to worship Him with others. Nancy C.