The Vigilante
By Evan McBride
1: Hey!
2: What?
1: You just stole my car!
2: No I didn’t.
1: Yes you did!
2: Dude, your car’s right there.
1: Yeah, I just saw you get in it and drive it over there.
2: You were parked in a handicapped parking space and you didn’t have a
sticker.
1: So what if I didn’t have a sticker?
2: I had to move your car.
1: That’s still stealing it, albeit temporarily.
2: No it isn’t.
1: You broke the window and hot wired it!
2: I had to.
1: The door was unlocked and the key was in it.
2: Really? I had no idea.
1: The engine was running! I was only in there for a moment!
2: Well, that’s no excuse to park in a handicapped zone.
1: I am handicapped.
2: You don’t have a sticker.
1: I’m in a wheelchair!
2: I still don’t see a sticker.
1: My car is wheelchair equipped! It doesn’t have a front seat! You must
have noticed when you were moving it!
2: This is all very fascinating, but it isn’t making a handicapped sticker
magically appear on your windshield.
1: It doesn’t matter if I have a sticker or not, it’s whether I’m
handicapped or not that matters!
2: Not according to John Law. A wheelchair doesn’t give you the right to
break whatever laws you personally disagree with. I don’t agree with
vigilantism.
1: WHAT?! You damaged and stole my... do you even know what the word
“vigilante” means?!
2: Of course I do. And to tell you the truth, I’ve had enough of your
rationalizations.
1: Hey, isn’t that guy stealing your car?
