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The Vigilante
By Evan McBride

1: Hey!
2: What?
1: You just stole my car!
2: No I didnít.
1: Yes you did!
2: Dude, your carís right there.
1: Yeah, I just saw you get in it and drive it over there.
2: You were parked in a handicapped parking space and you didnít have a sticker.
1: So what if I didnít have a sticker?
2: I had to move your car.
1: Thatís still stealing it, albeit temporarily.
2: No it isnít.
1: You broke the window and hot wired it!
2: I had to.
1: The door was unlocked and the key was in it.
2: Really? I had no idea.
1: The engine was running! I was only in there for a moment!
2: Well, thatís no excuse to park in a handicapped zone.
1: I am handicapped.
2: You donít have a sticker.
1: Iím in a wheelchair!
2: I still donít see a sticker.
1: My car is wheelchair equipped! It doesnít have a front seat! You must have noticed when you were moving it!
2: This is all very fascinating, but it isnít making a handicapped sticker magically appear on your windshield.
1: It doesnít matter if I have a sticker or not, itís whether Iím handicapped or not that matters!
2: Not according to John Law. A wheelchair doesnít give you the right to break whatever laws you personally disagree with. I donít agree with vigilantism.
1: WHAT?! You damaged and stole my... do you even know what the word ďvigilanteĒ means?!
2: Of course I do. And to tell you the truth, Iíve had enough of your rationalizations.
1: Hey, isnít that guy stealing your car?