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T'was the night of the new year...
By Evan McBride

T'was the night of the new year and all 'round the earth

Every streetcorner resounded with cheering and mirth

No apocalypse had come to tear the planet asunder

I was alone in a croud with nothing to plunder

No looting, no rioting, no violence or arson

None of the things that make Y2K fun

"Happy new years" I cried but behind my human smile

A plot was slowly emerging in my mind all the while

I plotted to fulfill a dastardly need

Old aquaintance would be forgot this year indeed!

So as I, plotting armageddon, strode off out of sight

I thought "Happy New Years to All, and to All a Good Night!"

I can't quite remember what my plan was or why we're all still here. All I remember is waking up naked in an unfamiliar city with unexplained major chest wounds. But I guess that's what New Year's is all about.