A Most Fortunate Accident
By Evan McBride
1: Hello?
2: Hello.
1: Oh, thank God you’re all right.
2: Where are we?
1: To tell you the truth, I’m not entirely sure.
2: Doesn’t look like anyplace familiar.
1: No, it certainly doesn’t.
2: How did we get here?
1: It’s all rather blurred in my memory.
2: Yes, all I can recall is a great noise.
1: Now I remember! There was a...
2: Yes, there was! I was afraid I was going to die.
1: I was afraid we were both going to die.
2: But we seem to be all right, wherever we are.
1: Hey, is that a...
2: No, don’t think so.
1: Oh.
2: Let’s sit down.
1: That’s a fantastic idea! I’m sorry, by the way.
2: What?
1: I’m sorry.
2: Whatever for?
1: For what I said, when we thought we were going to die.
2: What did you say?
1: I’d think it would be the type of thing you’d recall.
2: I seem to remember the certainty of my impending death taking up a lot of
my attention.
1: I see.
2: What did you say?
1: I said “I see”.
2: No, when you thought you were going to die.
1: Oh it doesn’t matter.
2: You’re certainly acting like it does.
1: I didn’t plan to say it. It just popped out, you know?
2: That means it was honest.
1: What?
2: If it just popped out, that means it was probably honest.
1: Well, perhaps it was.
2: What did you say?
1: Well, I can’t say it now!
2: Why not?
1: Just not one of those things you can say.
2: Was it when you said you loved me?
1: What?
2: Back when you thought we were going to die. I thought you said “I love
you”.
1: Well, then, why didn’t you bloody say so, if you remembered?!
2: I didn’t see why you were apologizing so I assumed you meant something
else you’d said.
1: No, that’s what I was talking about.
2: Why were you apologizing for it?
1: Well, I just said it because I thought we were dying.
2: Oh. I had kinda hoped you’d meant it.
1: What?
2: When you said you loved me. I’d thought you’d meant it, that’s all. My
mistake.
1: Well, I haven’t said I didn’t mean it.
2: You implied as much.
1: Well, I sort of might have meant it, maybe.
2: What?
1: Said that I meant it, damn it!
2: Oh. Good.
1: Good?
2: I love you too.
1: You do?
2: Of course I do.
1: Then why the hell didn’t you say so?
2: I did. Just now. Remember?
1: No, I mean when I thought we were going to die!
2: I squeezed your hand.
1: So?
2: I thought you knew.
1: Why?
2: Just seems like one of those things you’d just... know.
1: Well I didn’t.
2: Now you do.
1: It’s all good then.
2: I love you.
1: I love you too, I suppose.
2: You suppose?
1: Well, no. I suppose I’m certain.
2: Well, you’d damn well better be certain, now that you’ve said it and all.
1: Fine. Let’s try again.
2: What?
1: I love you.
2: I love you too.
1: There.
2: That felt good.
1: Now where the devil are we?
