Conversation Quotes, Page Three
Jake: Duweeba! Ruth: Baughman's a dweeba.
Jake: And I swear to God, if you honk or knock...Ruth: I will purposely jump around and make the dogs go crazy. Jake: Then I will accidentally think you are a cat burgler, and shoot you.
Ruth: OH SHIT. Love & Basketball was due Monday. Jake: If you don't turn it in today, they will call you tomorrow morning. Ruth: Hey, at least I didn't lose it. Or rather, have it fly off the car.
Ruth: Our prom is April 30th. Jake: NO WAY?! Ruth: YES. Jake: Do you know that that is my day? EVERYTHING happens on that day! Ruth: Uh oh. Jake's gonna get LAAAAAAAAID!
Ruth: No thanks, I'll go across the street to Hot Topic. Jake: Ruth, it's really sweet. You get to pick your bear, unstuffed. Then you get to stuff it to exactly how you want. Then they place a little heart inside. Then you get to give it a bath (actually, high pressure air jets that you can use to get out any mats of hair), then you get to make a birth certificate. Ruth: Jake, I'd rather buy a spiked collar at Hot Topic. Jake: That's because you don't have a heart. Ruth: Well, hey, the Build-a-Bear factory can put one in me!
Ruth: Jake...that was a yield. Jake: This coming from Mario Andretti in the back seat.
Jake: I just typed the corniest line OF MY LIFE. 'Johnny Depp has skillfully steered a very sturdy ship himself, its called the SS. Good-Career.' See what I mean? I've always treaded that thin line between corny and hilarious humor, but that appears to have, shall I say, sailed past the line." Ruth: Quote page! Jake: Speaking of which, isn't it about time for an update? Ruth: Oh yeah. I've got a boatload of quotes. Jake: Oh, really? A bloomin' treasure trove? Ruth: Okay, I think we've exhausted all of the pirate and boat jokes. Jake: Yeah, pretty much. Unless you want to bring back the classic, "Its rated Arrrrr."
Jake: What the fuck is a "blog builder"?! What the fuck is a "blog"?! Ruth: What the fuck are you talking about?
Jake: Are you going to see Spy Kids 3-D with me? Ruth: How bad do you want me to go with you? Jake: Badly. We have to see it! It stars...Ricardo Maltoban! RUTH! RICARDO MALTOBAN!
Valerie: Raptor is a kiddy ride. Magnum is a kiddy ride. Mean-Streak is a kiddy ride. Jake: What ISN'T a kiddie ride? Valerie: Millenium Force.
Ruth: I'm sorry I'm so boring for wanting to ride the train. Jake: That's ok. It's just your personality.
Jake: [On Ferris Wheel] Just breathe... Scott: I shall try.
Ruth: Buck up, son. Jake and Scott: Don't say that. Scott: Seriously. Ruth, shut the buck up!
Jake: I'm sorry, Ruth, but that falls under the 'huhhhh' category of the rules of section 14-A.Valerie: It's 15-B.
Scott: Ooh, cows. Ruth: Look, Jake, relatives! Valerie: No wonder he doesn't like hamburgers...
Valerie: My brother gets a '93 Thunderbird and all I get is the '87 Corvette! Just like when we sold our boat...Ruth: Oh, Valerie...
Valerie: Eh, it was okay. Jake: God, nothing thrills you!
Jake: Arms up! Ruth: NO!
Ruth: Look, Jake, for once I'm not the one insulting you.Jake: I know and I'm impressed. Ruth: I'm a good girl!
Jake: We keep getting the dry seats. Ruth: Then let's go on Thunder Canyon for a third time.
Valerie: They didn't have my Pina Colada suckers I like! Ruth: So what flavor did you get? Valerie: Deformed lime.
Ruth: They never have my name on anything, except for at Frankenmuth on Christmas ornaments. Scott: Well, they can custom-make it. Ruth: (looks at paper)Three extra dollars so they can custom-make my name on a necklace?! Scott: That's not right...Ruth: It's discrimination!
Jake: Let me have the map to read in the bathroom. Ruth: Hey, I got to go too, you know. Jake: Fine, then rip it in half.
Lady: Want more breadsticks? Jake: Yes, more, more! Lady: (mocking Jake) More, more!
Scott: This sauce is too sweet and it's from the freezer too...Jake: Oh, and Pizza Hut isn't? Scott: We make our sauce. We chop the tomatoes.
Ruth: Jake.Jake: Hmm?Ruth: Just checking. Jake: Ruth, if you see the car swerve to one side, then I fell asleep.
Ruth: You know what you were good at, back in the day? You were a good romantic kind of guy.Jake: I can be, if I want to be.Ruth: Sometimes, for a second, I miss that. But then I'm like 'Okay, it's Jake,' and then I say 'ew' and move on with my life.Jake: Yes, sometimes, I think about your TIGHT ASS, then a second later, I'm like, 'Okay, ew, it's Ruth, scrub myself clean, then move on.
Ruth: Kristy and Valerie gave me all their old pictures of April...(devilish look) My scrapbook's lookin' GOOD! Jake: Did you..er...misrepresent her? Ruth: Misrepresent is too nice. Jake: Slander? Ruth: Jake, I'm currently printing out the lyrics to 'Ho' by Ludacris to go in her page.
Ruth: I don't know if Sara's part of the core group anymore. I mean she doesn't hang out with us a lot like she used to. She's more like a clique member. Jake: Sort of like Shannon, the associate member of the BSC.
Chuckie: Ruth, you can have one of my nude senior pictures so I can show you why they call me 'Chuckie Huge'. Ruth: But would nude senior pictures count as an outfit change?
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