not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I
may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a
always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbour's
newspaper that's the time to do it.
a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot.
Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
test the depth of the water with both feet.
may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to
is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without
you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car
you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably
you haven't much education, you must use your brain.
mess up an apology with an excuse.
underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he
will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.
WITH representation isn't so hot, either!
days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad
quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back
in your pocket.
has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a raindance.
tape is like the Force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds
the universe together.
a man to go to hell and making him do it are two entirely different
Tact is the ability to tell him to go to
hell and have him glad to be on his way.
are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
ask a man the size of his spread. (Or anything else for that matter!)
miss a good chance to shut up.
Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when
your mouth is moving.
worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
is the art of saying "good doggie" while looking for a bigger
Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
is something you don't get until just after you need it.
problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.