How To Catch A Scammer...And Get Him Back...
(True story...with narratives! for your entertainment only...)

Some ppl should never do business...

Dear insuranceagentonline@yahoo.com,
This message is in response to your ad on Yahoo! Classifieds.

Response from AMY:
Hi. I'm very interested in renting this house. Just to clarify, is it $900 for the entire house or are you renting per room? Also, utilities paid means including gas, water, heat, and electricity? If possible, I would like to schedule a meeting to see the house. You can reach me at (xxx) xxx-xxxx. Thank you.
For more information, view the full ad. Thank you for using Yahoo! Classifieds.

Tell me that ad isn't too good to be true...
Pay some mind to my questions...my normal to-be-asked questions...
Also, why is an "insurance agent" answering real estate ads??

About a week later... (what a way to do business)

From: Insurance Agent
To: AMY
Sent: Saturday, November 24, 2007 4:03:57 PM
Subject: RE: Your Listing on Yahoo! Realestate

Hello,
Thanks for your concern and i am very sorry for my late reply,We really appreiciate you concern on this apartment(Internet Facilities,3 Bedrooms,1 sitting room,Dvd Player,Dinning Room,Fire Place,Jacuzzi,Garage,Water Dispencer,Security,Plasma TV and Well Furnished),As you can see i am an agent,This Apartment Belong to Reverend Osein Olakunle,He came to the States for a Crusade and Gospel of the Lord and some other christianmatic Mission and went back to Nigeria where he came from and then he registered this apartment with us and told us to help him look for a renter who will take care of the Single Family Apartment...We are looking for a Trust Worthy Person who can take very good care of this apartment just like his own.....We want you to stand to your words and promise us that you will do no arm to the House....I would have love to See you but we have moved from New York to Bowling Green,Kentuckey and that will be no problem if you really want the apartment...Here is the address of the apartment (89 Reeve Place,Brooklyn) and we want you to go and veiw the apartment and then come to mail me back f you really like the apartment and if it is a place that you will Love to Live In,And i will like to hear from you as soon as possible.....
I await your reply as soon as possble...I await your reply

Insurance Agent

Yes...a Reverend from Nigeria is gonna come to the States for a crusade in this day in age...live in Bay Ridge with white ppl...and leave the keys with a random agent who moved to Kentucky and tells you a different address than the one in the ad...okay...

This person needs to learn how to type proper English, and learn the uses of the "period"
Those run-on sentences drove me nuts! I don't even know how to read it...make my own sentences? or take a deep, deep breath?
...and who the hell signs off as Insurance Agent...you want your money...gimme a name!

From: AMY
To: Insurance Agent
Sent: Saturday, November 24, 2007 6:13:03 PM
Subject: Re: Your Listing on Yahoo! Realestate

Hi. The address for the ad is listed as 7020 Louise Terrace, not 89 Reeve Place. Please clarify which one it is. If it is 7020 Louise Place, I would love to take a look.

As if that wasn't clear enough...

From: Insurance Agent
To: AMY
Sent: Sunday, November 25, 2007 8:42:39 AM
Subject: Re: Your Listing on Yahoo! Realestate

89 Reeve Place,My apartment is the both you can have a look and tell me the one that you really like there......
Regards...

So which one is it? Do I need to toss a dice? Idiot...

From: AMY
To: Insurance Agent
Sent: Sunday, November 25, 2007 10:13:42 AM
Subject: Re: Your Listing on Yahoo! Realestate

89 Reeve Place is too far from where I want to live.
When can I see the one on 7020 Louise Place? Do I get a key to get in?

Special ed...of course you need a key to get in...but you never know with these ppl...
You might just be able to open the door and run into a bum in the hallway...

From: Insurance Agent
To: AMY
Sent: Monday, November 26, 2007 2:52:40 PM
Subject: URGENT REPLY

Hello Amy,
 
Thank you very much for the reply you have sent me,Anyway if thats want its ok by Us,But the Keys are with Us here in Kentuckey so what we are going to do is that you will have to go and check the surroundings and the Neighboorhood First and then you come back and mail me about it,If you are really interested and it is a place that you will Love to live in tell us so that we are going to know what to do about shiippuing the Keys to you and other Neccesary things...
 
Regards.

Oh...it becomes "urgent reply" now...so that they can ship the keys and other necessary things...like what??? I never said I was gonna live there yet...do you just send random ppl keys to houses nowadays?

From: AMY
To: Insurance Agent
Sent: Tuesday, November 27, 2007 5:58:27 PM
Subject: Re: URGENT REPLY

Hi. I have visited the house and the surrounding neighborhood. I like what I see. There's some trash in the garbage can though...nobody else is living there, right? It's only a one family house? You can send the keys so I can take a look inside.
Just to clarify, the $900 a month rent includes heat, gas, electricity, and water, as said in the listing, correct? Who do I send the monthly payments to...you or the owner? If you have any questions of me, feel free to ask...and if there is any other information that you wish to provide, please do so. Thank you.

Yep...questions I first asked a zillion yrs ago...and that any normal agent would be happy to answer...cuz it's the norm...
and of course you gotta look INSIDE before you move in don't you...shoot...

From: Insurance Agent
To: AMY
Sent: Wednesday, November 28, 2007 10:12:17 AM
Subject: URGENT REPLY

Thanks very much for your reply and also i can see your willingness in this rent and how is work?Hope great!!! So as i shall be giving you our house,pls again take care of the house so that i might be glad when coming to visit you.How are you and you do reply so late,Anyway,Hope everything is fine with you.However,Thw Owner told me that,if you are ready to rent the house now,then that will not be a problem but we will advice you due to a responsible person like you, to be able to afford the 1st month fee now( $900) and also we would like to send the following document to you via the DHL to the address you send to me and the tracking number will be sent to you so that you can possible occupy our house,Pls once again,we are giving you this on trust and do not dissapoint us and i promise you that,you will love the house.So i am with the below document here with me and i will like to know whether you are ready for the payment of this first month because i shall be coming by month end to check on you so that i can know how you take care of our house for us and if it is okay by me,then i shall be collecting the next month fee from you by myself.Here are the contents of the document.
1) Entrance and the rooms Keys
2)Paper/Permanent house form(Containing your reference details)
3)The house documetary file.
4)Payment Receipt.

So pls get back to me today so that you can get in touch with the owner for receiving the payment.I await your reply ASAP.

Insurance Agent

Do you sense my willingness in this rent? LoL. He asks "how's work" like we know each other...
I laughed when I saw "and you do reply so late"...MEEE late??? As if!! It was the very next day...
I dunno how they do it in Nigeria...but it takes time to go places here...at least I didn't wait a wk to respond like some ppl...
Didn't realize they were "giving" me their house...I thought it was the owner's...not the agent's...
...what's a house documentary file...does the house have a history? That sounds scary...

From: AMY
To: Insurance Agent
Sent: Wednesday, November 28, 2007 11:01:35 AM
Subject: Re: URGENT REPLY

Good morning. Yes I am ready with the first month's payment.
You can send the documents to this address: xxx
Thank you very much.

Of course I'm ready with the first month's payment...it's $900...everyone should have that much at least...
Did it slip their minds that I never looked inside the house?

From: Insurance Agent
To: AMY
Sent: Wednesday, November 28, 2007 4:00:24 PM
Subject: URGENT REPLY

hello amy,
Thank you for the reply you sent to me anyway here is the owners address where you need to deposit the money to through money gram only before we send you all the needed stuffs,you are very well welcome to this apartment,we have been given the authourity to send the keys and other things to the shipper but we are waiting for the payment to be sent to the owner....here is the payment address for you to send the money to...

Receivers name : OSEIN OLAKUNLE
Address : 42 WESTERN AVE.
City : APAPA
State : LAGOS
Country : NIGERIA
23401

I await your reply for you to send me the following Informations after you have sent the money so as for me to forwad it to Mr Osein Olakunle (LandLord) to confirm the payment.
Reference#.....
Senders Name.....
Amount Sent.....
City,....
State......
Zipcode.....
Country,....

After the payment have been confirmed the Keys will be sent to you and you get it in 24 Hrs......

N.B
The Money should be sent through Money Gram Only......
I await your soonest reply.......

Thank you
Insurance Agent

This is the good part...
Who in their right mind would send money to another country...for rent...before getting any confirmation about...well, anything...
It's like looking at a box and saying I will buy whatever is inside...here's my money... o.O
...and what the hell is N.B...?

From: AMY
To: Insurance Agent
Sent: Wednesday, November 28, 2007 10:32:00 PM
Subject: Re: URGENT REPLY

I still have a couple of questions that I would like to ask you. Can you give me your telephone number so that we can speak over the phone. It would be alot easier. Thank you.

The test...
Right now...we know nothing about this "agent" other than email address

From: Insurance Agent
To: AMY
Sent: Thursday, November 29, 2007 2:40:17 AM
Subject: URGENT REPLY

I will rather like you to call the owner Mr Osein Olakunle on 0112348038184753...

Regards.

Yeah...okay...I'm gonna go call Nigeria now...you wait for me...

From: Insurance Agent
To: AMY
Sent: Thursday, November 29, 2007 9:57:56 AM
Subject: URGENT REPLY

Hello Amy,
 
The Reverend Called me and told me that he tried to call you and the phone was getting disconnected,He tried again but the Phone Was Ringing and No one Picked it,He told me to tell you to go make the payment to his address so as for us to send you all Neccesary things,The New Month is beginning Tomorrow thats why,So that you will get the Keys tomorrow...The address has been sent to you already so you are just to write it down and take to the Nearest Bank to you to make the payment.......
 
I await your reply for you to send me the following Informations after you have sent the money so as for me to forwad it to Mr Osein Olakunle (LandLord) to confirm the payment.
Reference#.....
Senders Name.....
Amount Sent.....
City,....
State......
Zipcode.....
Country,....
 
N.B
The Money should be sent through Money Gram Only......
I await your soonest reply.......
Regards...
Insurance Agent

He's really pushy about the payment isn't he...? Can someone say red flag?
Oh...and someone DID call from Nigeria...at like 3am...what the hell is wrong with these ppl...

From: Osein Olakunle
To: AMY
Sent: Thursday, November 29, 2007 10:13:49 AM
Subject: MY APARTMENT

Hello Amy,
May the Good God Continue to bless you and your Family,I got your message from my Insurance Agent and i tried to call you but you are not picking the phone at all,Anyway,Please i hope the agent has sent you the address to send the money,Tomorrow is the start of another month thats why i am doing all this,I want a lovely and Kind person that will take very good care of the Apartment,Please i will want you to send the Money as soon as possible,So as to tell the Courier Service to Send the Keys to you......May God Bless you and your family.....
Regards..

Rev Osein

Dun dun dun...the big boss finally comes out...probably the same person...look at that ugly writing...lol...
Who goes from wanting a "lovely, kind person to take care of the place" to "please send money asap"...??

From: AMY
To: Osein Olakunle
Date: Thu, 29 Nov 2007 09:35:10 -0800 (PST)
Subject: Re: MY APARTMENT

Hello Rev. Osein,
How is Nigeria? I do not feel comfortable sending money overseas. I would rather wait for your agent to come visit and we exchange everything in person, that way I know you will receive the money. Your agent is not answering any of my questions thru email...questions that an agent should know. That is why I wanted to speak to him over the phone. Maybe he would understand me better that way. Please have him call me here in the states because it's harder to connect to another country. I will wait for his call. Thank you.

Do you sense my sarcasm? I was feeling very sarcastic today...
Oh...and last time I checked...PST meant pacific standard time...since when did Nigeria use PST...? someone please answer me that...

From: Osein Olakunle
To: AMY
Sent: Thursday, November 29, 2007 3:35:10 PM
Subject: URGENT REPLY

Hello Amy,
May the Good God Continue to bless you and your Family,I do not like people that are talking like you,What do you mean that you dont feel comfortable,I know that it is what you can do but you have something in mind that is very bad,Anyway anything that you want to ask please ask me i own my house the agent is just an agent,She doesnt even have the time to come because she is a very busy person thats why assuming she have the time she would have come,so i am the one that you should ask,This is how the procedure will be,If you send the first month payment i will deduct some money for my flight and then i will come over there,If you are no more interested then i will return your money to you and get back my keys,I have sent you the address to send the money to,so like i said send the money through Money Gram Only.....I am a Man of God so i cant do anything with your money,I would rather dont make that attempt,So provide the following informations like Senders Name,Reference#,City,State,Country and Postal Code,With this We will get your full informations to ship all the Keys and the documents to you...
Thank you and God Bless you..

Reverend Osein

May the good god continue to bless you and your family...yeah right...I hate when ppl talk like that...keep your religion to yourselves...
Look at the rev talking all nasty now...lol...cracks me up...
I can send money to anywhere in the world...yes I can...but I have something bad in mind...? I think he's talking about himself here...
An agent is just an agent...that's correct...so what do we need them for if they're busy doing other stuff?
...and after all this bashing...he still asks for the money...yeah...like I'm gonna give you anything now...

From: AMY
To: Osein Olakunle
Sent: Thursday, November 29, 2007 3:53:35 PM
Subject: Re: URGENT REPLY

Hello. What do you mean you do not like people that are talking like me. I'm just trying to clarify what you want...and what you want right now doesn't make any sense. Normal procedures for renting a house is looking at it first before proceeding with payments and paperwork, not the other way around. It's not a bad feeling, that's just how it goes. I assume you would not buy something first without guaranteeing its quality, correct? If we should be asking you for any questions, there would be no need for an agent...especially one that moved away from the area of where the posting is located. And if you were a man of god you would not be pushing us to send payments and just check email without answering any questions over the phone. That's just bad business.

Ooo...that was fun...did you hear my neck wriggling in that email? =D
Never try to insult me when I'm high off sarcasm...even god can't save you...

Who wants to place bets on whether this guy will dare respond...?