She walked down the cold and desolate hospital hallway, following only the plump, redheaded nurse before her. She knew the nurse all too well. She had seen her so many times before and it had only been a week since she had seen her last.

The nurse stopped abruptly in front of a wide open door. "Brianna Cooper, this room here, please. Dr. Phillips will be with you shortly."

"Thank you Gayle," Brianna said in a voice that was barely audible.

Gayle couldn't help but smile at Brianna with encouragement and sympathy written clearly across her face. Gayle had always had this warmth within her that she had no problem showing people. It was the one thing that Brainna loved about Gayle. It was a warmth that helped Brianna make it through so many hard and trying times in her life. Through all the obstacles Brianna had faced, Gayle was a constant reminder that life does get better and that things can always be worse than they already are. Even though Brianna knew that Gayle would never fully understand everything that she had to go through, the fact that Gayle tried to understand was enough for her. But, even with Gayle there by her side showing her warm smile, every time Brianna came into the hospital, she couldn't hide a feeling of fear.

Gayle could see the mixed look of anxiety and sadness in Brianna's brown eyes. In an attempt to help comfort her, Gayle softly rubbed her hand along Brianna's upper arm. "Everything will be okay, Brianna. It's just a checkup."

Brianna let out a small, forced smile. Just a checkup she thought. If she only knew.

As Gayle walked away, Brianna's attention turned to the lonely but familiar hospital room. One uncomfortable bed stood in the middle of the small room. It looked like a death-trap, but it was the same bed that she had come to know all too well. And yet, no matter how many times she was forced to lay on top of it, she never became accustomed to its hard and frigid mattress. It was during those long and lonely nights when she had to stay at the hospital that she rarely found sleep. Instead, she found herself longing for the comfort of her bed at home.

Cautiously, she stepped from the doorway and into the room. Almost right away, she wrapped her arms around her body, as if to give herself a hug. That act was a way to shield herself from any hurting that may lie ahead of her. Suddenly, an overwhelming sense of insecurity seemed to flood through her body. It was feeling of pain and nervousness.

She hated that feeling.

It wasn't the first time she had experienced that undeniable feeling. It wasn't the second or the third time either. Brianna had lived and dealt with that feeling for nearly her whole life.

The cold air of the hospital room hit her soft skin like a fast train into a pile of bricks and it made goose bumps surface on her skin. She found herself shivering as she thought about what this particular visit would be like. Would it be one of those with good news and hope or with bad news and shattered dreams? Would she leave here with high hopes and dreams, or would she leave with her life breaking right in front of her eyes?

As she stood before that bed, she couldn't help but wonder why she constantly allowed herself to get worked up before every visit. She had been through this same procedure time and time again. You would think she would be used to walking into the hospital and leaving with bad news, right? She had been through it for thirteen years. Wouldn't most people be used to it by now?

Brianna stepped closer to the bed and gently placed a hand on the blue bedspread. She let her fingertips slowly run across the rough pattern and suddenly she was reminded of her first time that she snuggled into the covers that were similar to those on which her fingertips rested. At the time, she was a timid nine year old who didn't understand why her life was changing and why she had to be different from all of her classmates and all her friends. She was a nine year old who couldn't be like her friends because they were normal. Why couldn't Brianna Cooper be normal?

Her mom used to tell her that God picked only the special people to be different.

But why did she have to be this type of different? Why couldn't she have been the type of different that people praised and admired, instead of this different that only scared people away?

"Brianna?"

Her body jumped from the shock she received as her thoughts were interrupted and her eyes locked onto the manly figure in the doorway.

Soon, she heard the soft chuckles of Dr. Phillips. He was a tall, dark haired man who was in his late thirties. He had been there for Brianna since the very beginning of her treatments. When he and Brianna had first met, he had just started his career as a doctor. He saw Brianna and immediately felt compelled to take her under his wing and shield her from all the demons around her. He thought of her as a daughter more than anything. She was a young girl who was living a life that even the most experienced old man would have a hard time dealing with. But she managed to live with everything around her with maturity.

"I'm sorry I scared you, Brianna," he apologized with a smile showing her honesty and care.

Brianna shook her head and let a small giggle escape from her body. "It's okay, I was just thinking about...things." She shrugged off the last part of her statement which didn't come as a shock to Dr. Phillips. Brianna was never really one to say what she felt. Though outwardly she acted tough, inside, he knew what she was fighting. A whole war of enemies lived inside of her. Enemies with names like fear, sadness, and wanting. To keep anyone from knowing what she was feeling inside, Brianna built this wall to keep outsiders away. And everyone was an outsider.

"Yeah," Dr. Phillips sighed. It was hard to help someone who was so secretive and wouldn't allow him to become a friend, rather than just a doctor. It hurt him that even though he wanted to help her, she wouldn't allow him to help in any other way than by having him give her the treatments. She wouldn't open herself up to him, or to anyone for that matter. "Well," he began, feeling defeated. "I guess the sooner we start, the sooner you can go home."

She nodded and slowly climbed up on top of the hard bed, her feet dangling off the side. Brianna sat up straight and faced Dr. Phillips.

"How are we feeling today?" he asked as he took the thermometer out of the pocket in his white coat. He lightly pushed it into her ear and then quickly took it out when it beeped. He glanced at it and then smiled as a signal to Brianna that things had gotten off to a good start.

"Better than last week," she replied after she saw his smile.

"That's good," he replied as if on cue. He removed the stethoscope from around his neck and put the earpieces of the instrument in his ears and he held the listening part in his hand. Slowly he reached up her shirt to her chest. "Okay, take a deep breath," he told her when the cool, circular piece was placed on her breast bone.

To most females, young and old, a visit with a male doctor is awkward enough. But when his hand is up your shirt, it's even worse. And Brianna had to admit, up until she was about fifteen years old, this part of a check up did make her nervous. But now it was routine. She drew a deep breath of air and then exhaled.

"Good," he mumbled as he moved his hand to another spot on her chest. "Again."

After several deep breaths, he removed his hand from her body and stood up straight. "Everything sounds good," he smiled at her. "You're feeling better and you don't have a temperature, so the treatment must be working for now. We'll just continue with it and see where it goes, okay?"

She nodded and let a fake smile make its way onto her face. "I have nothing to lose, right?"

He nodded and grinned but inside he was feeling upset. "Right," he replied. How could one person deal with all the things that Brianna had been handed in her life? Especially one girl who seemed so independent and who wouldn't open herself up to other people. She wouldn't share her pain with anyone to make it easier for her. The whole idea of one person dealing with this life by themselves still baffled him. "I'll see you next week then. Gayle will be in here in a minute or two."

"Okay," Brianna replied under her breath.

Dr. Phillips left the room and Brianna sat on the bed staring out the window into the tree that stood outside. A bird was perched on one of the flimsy branches and was singing a beautiful lullaby to noe one in particular. But, to Brianna, it was more than just a bird chirping a pretty tune. It was melody of what life should be. Of what she wished her life could be. It was a tune of love and joy. It was happiness and bliss. It was -

"Ready, Brianna?" Gayle walked into the room holding a needle in her right hand.

Brianna sighed and turned her attention from the tree to Gayle. "As ready as I'll ever be."

Gayle prepared the needle and then brought it up to Brianna's arm. In one swift motion, she jabbed it into Brianna's upper arm and Brianna winced at the pain. Although Brianna was used to a lot of the more awkward things in the hospital, like having Dr. Phillips hand up her shirt every week, the needle was something that still scared her and made her very nervous. She was never able to prepare herself for the pain that came when the liquid was shot into her body. Luckily, the pain was always short-lived.

"Okay, that'll do." Gayle smiled and threw away the needle. "You can go home now, sweetheart."

Brianna smiled. "Thank you, Gayle." Slowly, Brianna jumped off the bed and walked out of the hospital room and back into the cold hallway. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw an old man sitting in a wheelchair, pipes coming from his nose and connecting to an IV bag on a stand. She took a deep sigh. Only people like him can understand what my life is like she thought as she walked to the hallway.

She was almost at the entrance when suddenly something knocked into her. The force of the object knocked her onto her bottom and made her feel very dizzy. "Dammit," she yelped with anger.

"Oh my gosh, I'm sorry," she heard a voice call from above her, but she had been so jolted from the force of the object that the voice was slurred and unclear. The hands of the body that had collided with her clasped her hands and brought her up to her feet.

When she was balanced and no longer dizzy, Brianna opened her eyes and took her hands out of the firm ones to brush herself off. "Why don't you watch where you are going next time?" she asked with force.

"I didn't mean-" the voice began and it wasn't until the person started to stutter again that Brianna looked up into the face of the person who knocked her over. Immediately, her eyes locked onto the crystal blue ones before her. Those two eyes were the most beautiful display of color she had ever seen in her life. They were soft but the color made them so powerful to her they she could have passed out right then and there. "I wasn't watching where I was going," he continued. "I'm really sorry."

She shook her head to release herself form the trance his eyes had her in. She easily could have gotten lost in them and almost had. "Yeah, well you should be. I could have been some elderly woman in a wheelchair and you could have given me a heart attack that could have ended my life." It wasn't that Brianna was still upset with the man, this was just another one of her defense moves. She never wanted to befriend anyone unless she absolutely had to because she didn't want to have to go through anymore hurt than she absolutely had to.

"Well, luckily you weren't an old lady," he chuckled.

"Luckily," she sighed showing him annoyance.

The man sighed loudly. "Look," he said and he ran his fingers through his hair. "My name's JC and I can tell that you don't totally forgive for knocking you onto your butt, so let me make it up to you somehow. Let me take you out for dinner sometime, like, tomorrow night, maybe?"

Her first thought was to say no. Tell him your parents are comming from out of town she thought. She couldn't just say yes to him, it wasn't that easy. There were so many things she had to worry about. She couldn't let him want to be her friend. She didn't need anymore "friends" to say that they understood her and that they understood everything she was going through. But there was something genuine in him. Maybe it was his eyes or the way he smiled but whatever it was taking over her mind. She stood there thinking it over, looking him up and down. Should she say yes and run the risk of actually wanting to be this guy's friend?

"Well?" he urged.

Finally, she budged. "All right, but only if you can promise me that you are better at driving than you are at walking."

He chuckled. "I swear."

She took a deep sigh. She didn't know what she was doing or why she was doing it but there she was accepting an offer that would change her life. "Okay then."

"Great I'll meet you right here tomorrow night at seven, uh," he stuttered.

"Oh, Brianna," she answered.

He smiled and nodded. "Brianna," he repeated and then smiled. "Well, Brianna, I better get going, see you then." JC gave her a quick wink and then jogged down the hallway.

Brianna looked to the entrance doors. "What am I doing?" she asked herself aloud. She didn't know. She wasn't one to just accept a dinner offer, and she wasn't one to let the "female" inside of her get the best of her. Brianna was attracted to him but she knew she could only have this one dinner with him. That's it. After that, she couldn't see him again.

But that didn't mean she wouldn't want to see him again.

[Chapter Two]