03/04/03-I have WAY too much on my mind. I am really just..I dunno how I'm handling it. The show is tomorrow. I've already been graded so it's all good but there's a competition and well..you know how those get. I'd like to win now. I admit it, it'd be nice to win. But in all honesty, I was completely satisfied with the show as I saw it today. I was so impressed watching my cast enjoy the script so much up there. Then, the cast was to "grade/rate" me for my directing skills and most of the cast members were like oh you get the highest rating on them all cuz you rock. All of these things meant a lot to me today. But of course, I really put too much into the whole play because my grades are dropping. It seems when I focus on one thing, I tend to ignore others. Like say I have a boyfriend, I'll focus on giving him all the attention that he wants rather than things like school work. So maybe college dating is bad lol Oh well..I drove today in driver's ed. All I have to say is I wanna drop the class lol I'm a quitter but my parents are trying to make me think like "oh it won't be so bad next time" ha considering everyone in the class can drive and I can't and I get yelled at for not knowing what this or that is or how to do that..well that's just bs that I don't need. I don't take stupid comments/criticisms very well. I will think about staying in the class but today, that class is a nightmare. Anyways, I have a lot of work to do so I will begin to do some of it tonight. Wish me luck for tomorrow. 02/27/03-Snow has arrived once again to knock out two more days in my school schedule...meaning the show will have to be next week, probably Wednesday. It's really looking awesome. They've worked so hard and the characters are so good so I'm proud of my cast for all they have put into it. Who cares if the play doesn't win, it'll still leave a wonderful aftertaste in my memory. I haven't done much of anything else this week. I haven't been online to talk..doesnt seem like there's much going on with others either so I'm not too behind on the social aspect of my life. The only thing that I'm behind on is the whole..homework/makeup work that I haven't done. School is boring. After you're in it for 12 years, you're very tired of it and don't feel like putting yourself thru that hell any longer. Well, some of it isn't bad, but I think it's the whole idea that these are the same people, the same atmosphere blah blah blah...I need change soon. Soon, I need change. Change I need soon. Need I Change Soon? lol okay I'll stop. 02/20/03-I'm not sure if I'm depressed or what. I've had 2 weeks off of school and I've done nothing. I've sat here on this computer hoping for something to happen but it really hasn't. People are talking about the same things, kinda freaky but monotonous. And I keep having dreams about O-town..I blame it on the radio promoting their appearance here. I wish I could go see them. Gorgeous guys are rare here so any occassion where I can view them is always delightful. Pollstar just announced Justin Timberlake tour dates. I'm excited, I will do my best to get rad tickets to the show. I miss being an avid concert goer :( It's my number one hobby but becuz of all this crazy terrorism shit I have to miss out on em. Blah. That's my mood 4 ya..blah. I should clean my room or something to claim some kind of productivity during my 2 weeks off of school. I should start researching scholarships while waiting for these colleges to get back to me. So far, I applied to Loyola Marymount, Mount Saint Mary's College, and WVU. I'm 95% sure that WVU will accept me lol I dunno if God's on my side as far as college in California goes, I hope he is. It's been a dream but it's so nervewrecking to think it may not happen right away. Ah well, I'm still young and confused about how things are gonna work but we'll keep faith and continue on "our journey" as Joe Millionaire likes to call it. 02/13/03-the last three days..have been absolute hell for me.Why? the flu and where did I get it? JHS It really sucks when you can't get outta bed because your body achesso bad to move. But anyway, I'm getting better..at least I think so. I've been stressing all week about how..my cast would do rehearsals, college applications, and so on but I got a reassuring call from Beth and Amelia who called to confirm that they were running rehearsals and things were really going great. Very good news for me. I'm not sure how the college applications will go..I have to write an essay..I'll probably have to do that in several time slots so that I don't overwork my brain. I'm not sure if I'll apply to WVU, I feel that if I have to stay in WV, I should stay in this little area that's near DC/Baltimore rather than some place out in the middle of nowhere on a bunch of hills. Anyway, I got my wish..I won't be going to school on Valentine's Day. Whoohoo! No mushy displays of affection everywhere I go! Also, there's supposed to be a big snow storm this weekend so maybe I'll have Monday off as well. Who knows. I'm just wondering why no one is online right now when sick J finally shows up to chat :( I miss you all 02/08/03-i finished the site..well most of it. so be proud of me! anyways..today has been kinda sad for me. Probably made it that way. I just feel alone right now..everyone has somebody. Valentines Day only lurks closer and closer. It's a really depressing time. I wish I had someone..who could totally relate to me and you know be..solo with me. That'd probably be my best treatment. Anyway, rehearsals with the play are going well..things are starting to come together better each day. It's really exciting..to be in charge of something both power wise and creativity wise. I don't often have the voice in whats done but I really have things my way with this. Pretty fun. Um..as you can tell I'm bummed out and don't have any news to report so have a wonderful cheery week and I'll see you next time. 01/23/03-woke up way too early this morning since it is a Saturday. Did the SAT..promised myself I wouldn't ever take it again even if I got like a 700 this time. After that, I just wanted to take a nap..I started drifting about halfway through the test..so I came home and took a nap for about an hour. What am I doing right now? Working on this for the moment..I was working on my resume for college and the application so I'll probably return to that soon. Anything else? Oh yeah..my cast. Ah, I'll post it later but the auditions were...interesting. 01/23/03-hm..did i do anything today? nope..any homework? nah..not enough to be considered homework..what about that college stuff? ah..i'll do it later. That's my mood today.I won't have time for procrastination after this weekend..going to be too busy with the play, learning to drive, college apps, and so on. I'm booked for a long time after tomorrow. It's scary..but exciting all at the same time. We'll see if I'm a survivor. I get to be one of the judges of American Idol for acting tomorrow as I go through auditions for my play. Shhh...I already have an idea of who I want..but I can't precast. Oh well. We'll see what happens..I'll post my cast list on my website once I get around to updating. 01/19/03- Currently working on some features of the site. I did nothing today which is no surprise to any of those folks out there that really know me. I did clean my room though which is a definite accomplishment. News flash: I hate judgemental guys..you should burn for being so damn egotistical so you're now on my bad list. Congratulations! Tomorrow I have no school which means more sleep! yay! However, as soon as I wake up I'm sure I will be working on writing something so it's not at all a day for rest and rememberance of the great Dr.Martin Luther King Jr. Bless that man for all he did in society. 01/18/03- Officially started the new website all about me..which means...I'm on the web! scary thought isn't it? so..keep in touch..keep coming back cuz u'll see a bunch of crazy shit happening here                 ©2003 Jewels.  All rights reserved.