Cats and a Tangerine"
by; Christine, Lauren and Laura.
(*WARNING* This play is extremely cheesy. And you won't get most of it, b/c a lot of it is stupid inside jokes with me and my friends. But it's funny to say the least.)
Laura- Rhythm Guitarist
Lauren- Lead Guitarist
Plot: The up & coming band, PG-13, gets stranded in Bermuda during a freak snowstorm. Their rental car has stalled on a deserted street, which is about three blocks from the hotel that their manager, Joe, has promised to make reservations at. PG-13 enters the lobby.
TAMARA (frozen and angry): What made you think that Billy-bob’s car rental was a good place to rent a car?
CHRIS (annoyed and frozen as well): It was the shiny picture in the brochure.
TAMARA (turns to Lauren): And what on earth possessed you to reserve a room at "Purple Haze" Hotel?
LAUREN: You don’t understand the significance behind this hotel do you? Does Jimi Hendrix ring a bell?
TAMARA: I’m a drummer, what does that have to do with me?
LAURA: Maybe our hit song “Two Cats and a Tangerine” will be as successful for us as “Purple Haze” was for Jimi.
TAMARA: Forget Jimi, we won’t be successful with frozen instruments in the car.
LAURA: Well how are we supposed to know there would be a freak snowstorm in Bermuda.
CHRIS: "Hey Joe"…our manager…reserved a room for us, right?
LAURA: I wish the receptionist was here. My bladder’s thawed out now.
TAMARA: Don’t get your guitar strings in a wad. (Picks up a random key off the counter) Here’s our key.
LAUREN (takes key from Tamara): There’s no number on the key.
LAURA: Maybe they’re color-coded.
CHRIS (points): Let’s try this room.
LAUREN: That’s stupid no one would stay in a purple room.
TAMARA: Well we are staying at "Purple Haze."
I have to go to the bathroom.
LAURA: I have to go to the bathroom.
LAUREN (puts key in the first door she comes to and it works): Hey it works.
(Laura runs past the three. Chris walks in and looks at the floor.)
CHRIS: Ewww…what is that on the floor?
TAMARA: Ugh…God…it smells like someone died in here.
LAURA (walks out of the bathroom): What’s going on? I’m hungry.
LAUREN (opens window): Let’s go eat and let the room air out.
CHRIS: Hey there’s an IHOP across the street.
(Group walks out of the hotel and to the IHOP. They sit down at a table.)
CHRIS: I’m kind of nervous about the gig tomorrow night.
LAURA: We only have 3 ½ songs.
LAUREN: We have a half?
(Tamara drums on the table and Chris reaches across and stops her.)
~Half Hour Later~
TAMARA: I wish the waiter would get his butt over here. I’m starved…Hey look at the fine guy there.
LAURA: I’m not really sure about our band’s name. People read the flyer and it says “PG-13.” What about our 3-year old fans who can’t come to our concert because their parents think it’s 13 and up.
LAUREN: Well you didn’t like the “Fruit Loops.”
LAURA: Do I look like Toucan Sam? Wait…don’t answer that.
(Waiter comes and takes orders. He comes back five minutes later with their food.)
CHRIS: Pass the syrup.
LAUREN: Maple, Strawberry, Blueberry, or Boisen Berry?
LAURA: What does a boisen berry look like? (Holds up the syrup).
TAMARA (eats her pancake and pulls out a nickel from her mouth. All laugh): A nickel…Hey this is a silver dollar pancake. You owe me 95 cents.
LAUREN: That’s it we can call our band “Nickel Trauma.”
(Everyone looks at Lauren oddly).~15 Minutes Later~
TAMARA: I’m afraid I am going to choke on a quarter. Let’s get out of here.
(Everyone leaves and walks back towards the "Purple Haze" Hotel).
CHRIS (shudders): Man, it’s brutal out here.
(Walks into hotel and then into the room).
CHRIS: Who left the shower running?
(All look at Laura).
LAURA: I didn’t do it.
TAMARA (opens bathroom and peeks in. She closes the door quickly.): There’s a really hot guy in there.
LAUREN (looks around): Hey look there’s luggage in the closet.
LAURA: Speaking of which, where’s our luggage.
CHRIS: Three blocks in our car.
LAUREN: We weren’t about to carry all of YOUR luggage 3 blocks.
LAURA: We should get out of here before the guy comes out.
(Shower turns off. All drag Tamara out before he comes out).
TAMARA (whines): No…guy…towel…really cute.
LAUREN: I know “Wrong Hotel Room” for our bands name.
(Everyone groans. All walk to reservation desk, to get right room key.)
TAMARA (picks up reservation book and looks): "Hey Joe"…never made a reservation.
EVERYONE: You’re kidding right?
TAMARA: Unfortunately, no. Let’s go back to the car.
(All leave and walk through a random alley.
LAURA: Hey a cat!
TAMARA: Another cat!
CHRIS: A rat!
LAUREN: That’s carrying a tangerine.
CHRIS: Let’s just stick with PG-13.