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|**| I'm Not Supposed to Love You Anymore |**|

"I'm sorry, Nick. I can't keep pretending I love you, when I don't. I just don't think we're meant to be. I really don't think we ever were."

"I know. I guess we're not." He nodded his head slowly.

"I really do hope we can still be friends." She smiled. A small smile, but a smile just the same. And that killed him--ripped his heart to pieces.

She stepped forward, putting most of her weight on her right foot. Wrapping her long, tanned arms around his neck, she hugged him gently.

"Goodbye, Nick." She whispered into his ear. She pulled away, turned quickly, and climbed into her car. She started the engine, looked over her shoulder, and drove away.

And she was gone.

We agreed that it was over,

Now the lines have all been drawn

Nick watched the car speed down the street for a moment, and when he could no longer see the car, he turned and went into his house. The lonely house he no longer shared with anyone.

Nick slowly walked up the stairs, lost in thought. He walked into the bedroom and sat on the bed. He looked around the room—at the, now almost empty, closet, the dresser that used to be filled with make-up and hair products.

The vows we made

Began to fade,

But now they're gone.

He looked down at his left hand, fingering the gold band there. He still hadn't taken it off.

Put your pictures in a shoebox,

And my gold ring in a drawer

I'm not supposed to love you anymore.

He stood up, walking over to the dresser. He opened the top drawer, staring into it for a moment. He looked down at the ring one more time, then took it off and placed it in the drawer. Shutting the drawer quickly, he walked back to the bed and sat down again.

He glanced over at the nightstand, eyeing the phone. He picked it up and dialed a familiar number.

"Hello?"

"Hi."

"Nick? What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"It's over, Sherry. Over. She just left."

"Over?" Came the whispered reply. "I can't believe you and Caigan are over!"

"Yeah." The sound of sniffling could be heard.

"I'm so sorry, honey."

"Not your fault."

"I know it must be hard, sweetie. But I promise that the feeling will go away. You'll get over her. Just think -- you're free now. You can do whatever you want. No wife around."

"What if I don't want to?"

"You don't have to, sweetie. I must admit that I'm a bit jealous though." Sherry laughed lightly.

"Jealous? Of what? Jesus, Sher! I just lost my wife! My wife."

"I know, sweetheart. I know."

"I don't understand it. It's like one day we're happy, and the next—"

Nick was interrupted. "Hold on, honey." There was the muffled sound of two people talking.

"Nick? I'm so sorry, honey, but Daniel needs me to go pick up the kids."

"Oh. Okay."

"Call me if you need anything, alright?"

"Yeah."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Feel better. I love you. You know that, right?"

"Yeah. Bye."

"Bye."

Now Sherry says she's jealous

Of this freedom that I've found.

If she were me,

She would be out on the town.

And she says she can't imagine

What on Earth I'm waitin' for.

I'm not supposed to love you anymore.

Nick put the phone back on the nightstand, and laid back on the bed.

He closed his eyes and imagined Caigan. He wondered if she'd made it to her parent's house all right.

He sighed.

Why was he thinking about her? They were over. No more. He shouldn't be thinking about her. Maybe Sherry was right. Maybe he should just get over it. Maybe he should go out tonight and try to find a girl.

But how could he when he still loved her?

Oh, I shouldn't care,

Or wonder where and how you are.

But I can't hide this hurt inside

My broken heart.

I'm fightin' back emotions

That I've never fought before.

'Cause I'm not supposed to love you anymore.

He got off the bed, and walked over to the desk in the corner of the room. He sat in the black leather chair and opened the tope drawer, pulling out a piece of paper. He picked a pen out of the penholder, and began to write.

Caigan –

I know that we're over. I know that. But I'm sitting here, and all I can think about is you. I know it's over, yet I don't know why. I know, I know. I told you that I thought we weren't meant to be. But for the life of me, I can't figure out why I said that when I know it isn't true. I love you. I know we were meant to be. Made for each other. Soul mates.

Now I'm writing you this letter,

And it's killin' me tonight

That I agreed

When you believed

It wasn't right.

Nick read over what he had written. He sighed deeply, crumpling up the paper and tossing it into the garbage can.

He got up, walking to the bed. He changed into his pajamas and climbed under the covers.

He buried his face in the pillow. He could still smell her. Lifting his head up, he grabbed the pillow and tossed it on the floor.

He couldn't sleep if he could smell her.

He laid his head back down on the bare sheet and pulled the covers up to his chin.

He looked to his left, at the empty space next to him. She used to sleep there.

Used to.

He rolled over so that he couldn't see the space. He stared at the wall in front of him, thinking. He closed his eyes.

Usually, when he wasn't facing her in the bed, she would cuddle up to his back, snaking her arms around his waist -- and they would sleep that way.

He sighed again. It was no use. Even the bed reminded him of her.

He pushed the covers down and climbed out of bed. He went to the closet, and reaching in the top shelf, pulled out a sleeping bag. He rolled it out and laid it on the floor. He slid into it and closed his eyes.

And I couldn't sleep up on the bed,

So I'm down here on the floor,

Where I'm not supposed to love you anymore.

Oh, I shouldn't care,

Or wonder where and how you are.

But I can't hide this hurt inside

My broken heart.

I'm fightin' back emotions

That I've never fought before.

'Cause I'm not supposed to love you anymore.

He finally fell asleep. Finally.

But even then, he dreamed of her.

I'm fightin' back emotions

That I've never fought before.

'Cause I'm not supposed to love you anymore.

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