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Pop2Dow

 

Poetry... by me.... Dow.

9/28/95

I long for you to talk to me

Our stubborness won't break

You're angry at me for something I did

For something I wouldn't take.

 

I'm sorry that my views are different

But this is who I am

I couldn't help but be angry

Because Cookie Monster is a man.

 

Sometime in 1997

When we say those words, we mean forever.

When we dream the future, we mean someday.

When we think of each other, we mean one day.

 

Days pass so fast, with thoughts of you on my mind.

Nights pass so quickly, with invisions of being together.

 

Saying I miss you, means your presence fulfills me.

Saying I love you, means I'll be your everything.

 

Dreaming of the days when we will be together.

Dreaming of the nights when you'll be able to hold me tight.

 

Longing for the afternoons when it will be just you and me.

Longing for the moment when we will meet.

 

Waiting for this time to come, I hold onto my thoughts of love.

Waiting for this time to come, I hold onto my thoughts of you.

 

 

Sept 1998

Deep dark shadows tower over me

Enclosing me in it's dreary being.

Reaching for the light

That shines so brightly on you

For a moment, I was in the light

Soon, I disappeared into the lost souls of your existence

Forgotten and left with nothing

I struggle to regain my presence in the light

Where I truly belong

My world is spinning

I can't recognize my surroundings

I wish to see the truth

I wish to know where I stand

Away from the darkness

Away from solitude

You've poisoned me

Confusion and pain tear through my veins

As if you've ripped my heart out

Only to see it bleed

It bleeds b/c it does not understand

It bleeds b/c it does not know where it belongs.

Where I belong

Lost, have I become

Buried deep in the back of your conscious thoughts

I long to be somewhere else

But you've pushed me

I can't exist in your world

In your world of true happiness and virtue

You close your doors

You drown yourself

You've immerged yourself beneath all reality

You've escaped

I can only wander in these thoughts

Jumping from cloud to cloud

Spinning myself in circles

Dancing around these patches

Trying not to feel myself slip

But I can't feel you

Things aren't the same

I can't find you

What has happened to our world?

Our universe we shared?

Denying myself the truth

I see it has faded to oblivion

Denying myself the truth

I see it can never be the same

Denying myself the truth

I see it becoming a fantasy

I repress my sorrow and bring out anger

In my mind I tear you apart

In my heart...bleeding.. you sit and wait

In my reality.. you've left me

You've left me to fend for myself in this strange place

In this place of loneliness

In this place of confusion

The only place where I have nothing

You left...

I see the light moving farther from where I stand

I'm blinded and sit dumbly in silence

Where do i go from here?

 

11 10 99

Tonite.. I sit alone

Tomorrow is another day.

 

The color of emerald,

I swim in these pools of green

Drowning in the warmth that I feel

When I look into your eyes.

Love, I love you

With all I have.

With all that I ever could give.

You are a part of me, as I am a part of you.

 

October 2, 2001   11:59pm

Deaf, to my cries ... I feel you are

To everything I have asked of you

Blind, to what may come from what is not done.

Useless, I feel I am to speak. 

Silent, I will be blind, too.

 

10/3/01  1:28am

Walking away from a shell I know as my former self.

The one that tried, the one that hoped, the one that dreamt.

Only wanting one thing for myself, I find I lack meaning.

 

Empty, reasoning, vanished.

The will to be.  I'm not sure where that's gone.

Thoughts, sinking, trouble.

Being stronger.   Only... I don't know by how much.

 

October 31, 2001

I stand outside myself.

White, blurry... watery

I see it.  Nothing.

I felt it. Breaking.

I had it. Once.

I feel it. Broken.