Out Of My Life

Chapter One

"Ana, please," Kevin Richardson begged, taking his girlfriend's hands in his own as tears spilled from his eyes. "Please don't do this."

She turned away from him, pulling herself free. "I have to, Kev," she said softly, taking a step forward.

"No, you don't, sweetheart," Kevin replied quickly, stepping after her. "We've gotten through everything before! We can get through this."

Ana turned back around, and Kevin could see that her blue eyes were also filled with tears. "No, Kev, it doesn't work that way! That was different. There's nothing you can do this time! This life...flying all over the world every five minutes...dodging fans and reporters every which way...it's not what I want my whole life to be made of."

Kevin shook his head, holding her hands again. "It won't be like that forever. We won't be around forever. I know we say that, but it's not true. It'll all start to go away soon."

Now Ana was the one shaking her head. "That's a lie, Kevin. Your fans love you. They're not gonna let go anytime soon. Even if we got married, they'd still love you just as much."

"Baby, I don't care about them," Kevin protested, squeezing her hands. "What I care about is having a future with you. I'll leave the group if you want me to. I wasn't lying when I promised I'd do anything."

"No," Ana said, shaking her head so that brown curls fell in her eyes. "I'm not going to take your career away from you."

"Instead you'll just take away the person I love more than words," Kevin replied, brushing the hair out of her eyes.

Ana sighed and looked away as Kevin touched her cheek, his fingertips stroking it gently. "That will fade over time," she said softly, trying desperately not to cry. "You'll find someone else to love you. Someone who can deal with your kind of life. And unfortunate..." Her voice broke, and she took a moment to collect herself before continuing. "Unfortunately, that person can't be me." Ana let out a shaky breath and pulled her hands away from him for the second time.

"Ana, no," Kevin said, grabbing her around the waist and pulling her to him. "You can't just leave! Baby, I love you."

"Kev, you're making this too hard," Ana said, pushing him away.

"If you want it to be easy then don't do it at all," he replied.

"No. I've been thinking about this day and night, and it's the only right thing for me to do. I want a home, Kevin. I want a family. And I'm sick of waiting around for it. I'm thirty years old. I don't have forever. And that's how long it feels like I've been waiting for the things I want from you."

Kevin shook his head. "Ana, this isn't fair! You can't...we...you were supposed to be..." He staggered backwards a step or two.

"What, Kev? What was I supposed to be?"

Kevin turned his back to her, walking towards the window of the all too cheerful hotel room. "My wife," he said softly as his shoulders started to shake and he choked back sobs.

Ana walked up to him and touched his shoulder, and he turned around, his eyes red with tears. Silently she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling his head down to her shoulder. "I'm sorry," she whispered as he held her tight.

"I love you," Kevin whispered into her neck.

"I know you do," she said. "But for once that doesn't change anything."

Kevin lifted his head from her shoulder, a new hope in his eyes. "What if it does fade soon?" he asked. "What if in the next year or two, we lose our popularity or break up or something? Will you promise to give me another chance?"

"Kevin, first of all, that's not going to happen. You're not going to"

"But if it does," he interrupted. "Please. Will you?"

She shook her head slowly. "If I say yes, then that will make you hold on. And I don't want you to hold on."


"No. No, I have to go! I was supposed to already be out of here," she said, pushing him away and starting towards the door.

Her hand was on the knob when Kevin ran up to her, grabbed her shoulder, and turned her around. Pushing her body up against the door with his own, he pressed his lips against hers in a last ditch effort to make her stay. He felt her hand touch the back of his neck as he kissed her, a habit of hers that he knew meant she wanted more. He put his hands on her hips and pulled them against his, more than ready to give it to her. She was about to wrap her legs around his waist when suddenly she realized what she was doing and pulled away from him, now unable to stop the tears.

"Kevin," she sobbed, "I can't do this with you anymore!"

He started to cry again too. "Ana, don't"

"I'm sorry," she said, turning the doorknob.

"Ana, no," he begged, "don't walk out that door. Please! Don't"

Before he could even finish, it slammed shut right in his face.

* * *

She's out of my life
She's out of my life
I don't whether to laugh or cry
I don't whether to live or die
And it cuts like a knife
She's out of my life

She's out of my hands
She's out of my hands
To think for two years that she was here
And i took her for granted, I was so cavalier
Now the way that it stands
She's out of my hands


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Lyrics from "She's Out Of My Life"
From 98 And Rising by 98
Written by Tom Bahler. Arranged for 98 Music, Inc. by Devon Biere.