Can't Say Why I Love You

Chapter Fourteen

A.J.'s heart was racing as he lay motionless in bed next to Katie. He couldn't believe that he had let himself be seduced again. This wasn't good. What he wanted was very different from what she wanted. He wanted love while she just wanted lust. Quite a turn from the usual way of things, he realized. He suddenly turned towards her and spoke. "So I was talking to Nick the other day."

"Really," Katie said with no enthusiasm.

"Yeah. He wants to set me up with some girl that he knows," A.J. informed her.

She raised her eyebrows. "Oh..."

"I said no," A.J. said quickly.

Katie frowned. "Why?"

"For one thing, it's Nick."

"Good point."

"And also because you and I...we're...well, we're not a thing, but we're kind of involved..." A.J. stated carefully.

She laughed unsurely. "A.J., what we're doing is just for fun. For shits and giggles. I don't want to keep you from starting a real relationship," she said slowly.

"Okay, then, I'll tell him I changed my mind," A.J. replied.

"Good." Katie paused for a second and looked at him. "Wait...does that mean that we have to stop this?"

"I don't know, Katie...don't worry, I'm sure you can find some other guy to have sex with," A.J. commented wryly.

"But it wouldn't be the same," Katie protested quickly.

"What do you mean?"

"I wouldn't be as good," she said, not exactly sure if that was what she had originally meant or not.

"Well, I guess we don't really have to stop, then. I mean, it's just one date, right? It's not like we're getting married or anything."

"Right," Katie agreed, nodding vigorously.

A.J. sighed as he sat up and reached for his clothes. "I guess I'll get going," he said indifferently.

"Okay." Katie couldn't figure out why the hell the idea of him with another girl was bothering her so much.

The room seemed unusually empty after A.J. left. Katie still didn't know what her problem was. If they were only having a physical relationship, then of course they would be seeing other people eventually. She sighed and sat up, hearing a knock on my door.

"Katie, it's me!" A.J.'s muffled voice said.

"Just a second!" she replied. She pulled her robe on again and opened up the door.

"I lied, Katie. Nick didn't try to set me up with anyone. I just wanted to see how you would react," A.J. said immediately.


He stepped into the room without asking this time. "Katie...what we're doing right now isn't healthy. It has to end."

"End?" Katie echoed.

"Yeah. At first, when we talked about this sex-only thing, I was hesitant, but I thought that if it made you happy, then it was fine with me. But I can't keep doing it any more," he said hurriedly. "It's not that I don't want to—because believe me, I do—but with you, I can't just have the physical part of the relationship. I want the other part. The emotional part. I care about you too much not to."

"'re saying that we have to stop?" Katie asked.

He nodded. "Unless we can make this something real," he said. He stepped towards her and took both of her hands his own. "Come on, Katie. If you and I were together, it could be so amazing."

Katie pulled away and shook her head. "No, A.J. I can't be in a relationship right now. I'm sorry, but I just can't handle it at this point in my life."

A.J. nodded and looked at the floor. He'd somehow known all along that she would say that. "All right. Well...this is goodbye then."

"Okay. Goodbye." She sounded eager to get him out of the room.

"Bye, Katie," he mumbled, walking out of the room.

She quickly shut the door behind him and tried not to burst into tears.


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