[[ Prologue ]]

Alex:

                “I’m sorry, we just…we think it’s unfair, and we’re leaving the band.” Nate said as he sadly looked at Aaron and I. I bit my lip and looked over at Billy who nodded, the expression on his face full of anger. As I sat in a chair at Aaron’s place, I couldn’t believe my ears. Billy and Nate were leaving the band – for reasons that were unreasonable and so incredibly senseless.

                “But, why, exactly are you leaving? This isn’t making sense to me.” Aaron said, his tone getting annoyed. “You were hired as a back-up band; you signed papers saying such, and you even knew you’d be getting paid as if you were a back-up band.”

                “But we’re a part of the Calling.” Billy replied in the same angry tone. “We deserve better pay and profit from the merchandise sold since day one.”

                “No, you’re not.” Aaron said firmly. “You were the back-up band. Mistakenly, you were only marketed as part of the actual band. Did you write the songs? No, neither of you did. You don’t deserve a cent of what the Calling has profited except what you were agreed to be paid.”

                “We’re a family…” I said softly, looking at Billy. He rolled his eyes.

                “We’re not anymore…this is bullshit. Pure bullshit!” He pointed to me. “You, Alex, are bullshit.”

                “Why are you angry at me?” I asked standing up. “I did NOTHING to you. I LOVE you. For cryin’ out loud, Billy – we love each other! We’ve been together for almost 2 years! You’re going to throw away everything because of spilled milk?”

                “Spilled milk?” Billy snorted. “This is serious; you and Aaron are getting big egos over being the bigwigs in the band.”

                “Because we ARE the band!” Aaron interrupted. “We don’t have ‘big egos’, we know we are on the same level as everyone else.”

                “Bullshit?” I whimpered, looking at him. “Billy, why are you mixing business with our personal lives? I…I just…I don’t get it.”

                Billy came over to me and looked me in the eyes.

                “Look Alex – I’ll put this into terms that you will get. As long as you are a part of the Calling and involved in such bullshit like this, I can’t be with you. We have no life together. We’re through.” He looked back at Nate who stood there silent. Nate was never the type to scream out at anyone. He’d say his piece and that was it for him. Billy, however, would explode, and how I wish he wouldn’t have exploded at me. I loved him so much…and to see him angry at me, for something that I had no control over, that I had nothing to do with, just hurt.

                “W-what? Billy, I love you…”

                “No you don’t.” Billy said rolling his eyes. “You love your money, your fame. You and Aaron have given us nothing,”

                “We’ve given you a hell of a lot.” I stated, growing frustrated. “We’ve given you a hell of a lot more than that damn contract ever agreed to. I gave you my heart; I gave you my heart and what are you doing? Huh? What are you doing? Why are you doing this?”

                “Take your heart back.” Billy said. “Find some lonely sap who wants it, because I sure as hell don’t.” He pushed past me and walked out the door. Nate looked at us with sad eyes.

                “I’m sorry,” He said. “It just…didn’t work out.” He went to catch up with Billy.

                “So this is it then?!” I called out. “We’re over?!” Billy did not respond. I felt tears coming to my eyes and as I spoke, my sobs caused my voice to shake. “FUCK YOU BILLY MOHLER!”

                Just as I broke down into a pile of sobs, Aaron came over and rubbed my shoulder.

                “It’s okay, you don’t need him.” Aaron said in a caring tone. “You don’t need him.”

                “But I do…” I told him. “I love him…”

[[ Chapter One ]]

Five Months Later…

Aaron:

                Before I got on the bus, I made sure we had every piece of equipment in the storage compartments at the bottom of the bus.  Everyone was a little rushed and stressed this morning, and most likely we had forgotten something. From what I saw, we had everything – but you know how luck goes…the minute you’re at a point where you can turn back, you realize you’ve forgotten something.

                Everyone was in panic mode this morning because this would be the first day of our newest tour, the first tour without Billy and Nate. Alex and I hired a backup band, but we were still on the edge, especially Alex.

                It had been five months since Billy and Nate quit…and since Billy and Alex broke up. The break up took a huge toll on Alex. It was hard for him to rehearse our new material, after all, the love songs Alex had written for the album were written for Billy. And Alex was far from being over Billy. He was so lonely, and so depressed. I tried contacting Billy, but my calls were never answered, my e-mails were never replied to. He wanted nothing to do with us. Nate, however, was the complete opposite. We talked to Nate once, maybe twice every month. There wasn’t really any tension with Nate. However, Billy was extremely frustrated with Alex and I and that’s what caused him to call it off with Alex.

                Alex and Billy were one of the cutest couples I had seen. Alex and Billy have always been bi, and after Alex broke up with Jen (his previous girlfriend), Billy was the one next to him, helping him along. I was there too, Alex and I are best friends, but Alex had a more understanding connection with Billy.

                A month after Alex and Jen’s break up, Billy asked Alex on a date and they were in love ever since. Their love to each other gave the band a bigger sense of positive energy. It was inspiring. They were together for two years, and then that brutal scene, that brutal break up – well…now it was like there was a rain cloud over us every step we had taken.

                On our last tour, Billy and Alex were together 24/7. They would always cuddle on the couch on the tour bus and watch Adam Sandler movies. It was just something they did…you’d see Billy sitting on one side of the couch, Alex lying down, his head in Billy’s lap. Billy would pet Alex’s head from time to time, and Alex would rub Billy’s arm with this comforting smile. And Nate and I would be sitting on the other couch having a belching contest. Yeah, we had our moments too…

                Anyways, Alex would deal pretty well with his depression throughout the day. However, at night, when he’d turn in for the day, he would break down. It was terrible to witness, and he refused to talk to anyone about his grief. All he could say was, “I miss him, I hate him, and I love him so much.” That’s all he ever said about Billy.

                Everyone was worried about how Alex would be on tour. We had bought new comfy couches for the tour bus (we needed an upgrade), and every single Adam Sandler movie was “missing” (in a box in my closet).

                We had brought two buses for this tour, one for the band and the backup band and one for the crew. We didn’t want anyone to feel crowded, like last tour, so we spaced things out so nothing would be so tight. Besides, everyone felt Alex and I needed our space.

                Alex was on the couch, playing one of his guitars when I entered the bus. He was singing “Final Answer”, looking out the window as he played. He seemed pretty chipper this morning, but I was still worried that the tour would start off on a bad note. This encouraged my theory even further.

                “Is there love without hate? Is there pleasure without pain?” He sang softly. “I have seen all my mistakes. I cast you out, but now, I want you back. So light me again…” He pulled back his hand and winced. He looked up at me and chuckled softly.

                “Did you drop the pick again?” I said wit ha smirk. He nodded.

                “Yeah, and pinched my finger in the process.” He set down his guitar and looked at me. “So, where are we headed today? L.A.?”

                “Sacremento.” I stated with a nod. “The charity function…”

                “Oh, for Make-A-Wish?”
                “Yeah,”

                “Should be fun. Isn’t that the one that Sacha said fans have lined up for days?” He asked. I smirked, nodding.

                “Since Thursday.”
                “It amazes me how people will sleep on concrete for almost a week, just to see us up close and in concert,” Alex said with a smile. The bus started up and pulled out onto the road. “And so it begins…”

                “What now?” I asked him. “Want to go over the set list for tonight?”

                Alex wrinkled his nose.

                “But it’s barely 8 in the morning…” Alex said.

                “We could always watch television…”

                “Alright.”